The Big Broadcast of 1938

The Big Broadcast of 1938 (1938)

Move back! You'd better get on.

I shall miss my boat.

Don't worry, sweetheart.

You'll catch the boat!

My invention picks up electrical

impulses sent from a station on shore.

This furnishes power for

the auxiliary propellers.

With them, we expect to achieve a speed

of 65 knots per hour. Thank you.

You have just heard Mr. Robert

Hayes tell you how fast we

will cross the ocean.

How fast is 65 knots?

How do you do?

Um...

Sixty-five knots is

approximately... miles.

Psst!

Psst! I know you want

to hear the voice...

of that great radio announcer who

will be in charge of our broadcasts.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Mr. Buzz Fielding!

He didn't get here yet.

Oh, what'll I do? Anything,

but go ahead and do it.

An imitation of a man

playing a violin.

Get him out of there.

Get him out of there.

Ladies and gentlemen, there seems

to be some delay on our program.

Where is he?

If you'll have patience,

you'll soon hear...

the genial voice of your own

announcer, Mr. Buzz Fielding.

Yeah? That's what you think.

Buzz Fielding! Phooey!

It's bad enough to be in jail.

He won't be on that program.

How do you know so much?

Because I'm Buzz Fielding.

Is that so. What are you

doin' in alimony jail?

I had trouble keeping a wife and

the government on one salary.

Sorry to keep you waitin' out

there. That's all right.

Is this the one? It's been

some time since I've seen him.

Yes, that's he.

Here's another one says she's your

wife. Hello, Buzzie boy.

I hope you're happy now that

you've put me in this monkey cage...

just because I missed a

couple of installments.

Number three comin'up.

Hello, Buzz.

What is this, a convention?

Obviously.

Oh, Mrs. Fielding, Mrs. Fielding

and... uh, Mrs. Fielding.

One and two, Mrs. Fielding

number three.

A mighty touching scene here.

- You expectin' any more? - No,

I know when I've had enough.

Buzz, dear, if you'll

just hand over the money,

I'm sure the, uh, girls will

agree to let you out...

so you can earn a lot more

money for us. But what money?

Y'all got $50,000 in advance to put

on the broadcast from the Gigantic.

Yeah, but that's not my money.

That's for the talent.

- I won't touch a cent of it.

- What did you bet it on?

Bet? The nose of the Gigantic.

She's a cinch to beat the

Colossal, and I got even money!

I'm looking for Mrs. Fielding.

Everybody here is

Mrs. Fielding but me.

The judge said he wanted

to see Mrs. Fielding,

so I guess you'll all

have to come along.

Remember the last time we were in

jail together? Our wedding night.

Did you ever manage to

find the marriage license?

Gee, that was about the maddest

house detective I ever saw.

There he is.

Buzz! Dorothy!

You sure do all right. Don't

worry. You'll be out.

I just paid your alimony.

With what?

Your engagement ring? Dorothy, you're

the most marvelous girl in the world!

It almost makes me

feel like crying.

I think I will. It

wasn't paid for. Oh.

Excuse me, Mrs. Fielding.

You're wrong, for once.

But I can see how you

picked up the habit.

You can come out. Everything's been

fixed. No fooling?

Sure fun havin' you here

again, Mr. Fielding.

Don't think I haven't enjoyed

it, because I haven't.

So long. Don't miss the big

broadcast from the Gigantic.

When you hear my theme song, the

first bars will be for you.

33 1/3 percent. What are

you crabbin' about?

Before y'all came along,

Cleo and I split him 50-50.

And to think I used

to own him 100%.

Oh. Pardon my curiosity, but

where'd this money come from?

She said she was just a friend.

She?

Say, that's how we started!

You started.

Say, girls, come

see what I see.

Oh, just a friend! I can almost

see the number four on her back.

I'm not going to take another

cut! He can't chisel me down 25%.

Come on, Cleo. I'm

coming, dear.

Everything depends upon

you, my dear brother.

You're embarking for

Europe immediately.

Everything is arranged.

Proceed at once to pier 13,

where you will embark upon

the Colossal. Colossal.

The present holder of the

Atlantic crossing record.

You will receive further instructions

upon your arrival in Europe.

I wish you your usual luck.

Thank you.

And a hearty handclasp.

Have a good time. Thanks. I'll

even go out of my way to have it.

But you must hurry, S.B.

I'm off, T.F.

I'm leaving everything in

your hands. Au revoir.

I thought that hallway

was awfully crowded.

Au revoir.

Where am I? Drat, drat, drat!

The mail, sir. Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

Ah! A carte postale

from Paris,

from my friend

Major Biggleswade.

From Paris. What won't

they think of next?

Ah... destroy it at once.

Quite so. Yes, indeed, sir.

Your brother, sir, S.B., seemed to be

in quite a hurry, if I may say so.

I sent him off in a hurry.

He's got to catch the Colossal.

He only has a few moments.

Might I remind you, sir, the

Colossal is not our boat.

Our boat is the Gigantic.

Ah, true, true.

The Colossal is our

nearest rival.

But need I remind you

that my brother, S.B.,

has been connected with

every major disaster...

since the sinking

of the Merrimac?

I have engaged suite 13

for him on the Colossal.

Very, very good, sir.

Then if anything happens,

it won't be on our boat, sir.

You know who S.B. is... S.B.

Ready... hup!

Guess they want a speech.

My friends...

I think I can

call you friends.

- These aren't soldiers, sir.

- I was saying, my father,

one of the great

"immorals" of his ti...

Great immortals of his time...

What?

How many, sir? Oh, glad

you thought of it.

Fill her up. Very good, sir.

Right to the brim.

How's your horn? Oh, I suppose...

Ah, don't be facetious.

You haven't much time to catch

the Colossal, sir. Nonsense!

Plenty of time after a

game of golf. Yes, sir.

Here you are, sir.

Ah, thank you.

How much? That will be one cent,

sir, and seven cents tax,

making a grand total of eight

cents. Gas gone up again?

Oh, yes, sir. What with

surtaxes, Social Security,

unemployment, street bonds

and old-age pensions, sir.

The gas is the same, but

the taxes have gone up.

What are you doing there?

Inflating your tires, sir. How

many pounds? Ah, fill her up.

Say, have you any spare parts for

these things? Why, yes, sir.

Get me a new thumb, will you?

I must watch the pressure.

I'll watch the pressure.

Go! Go, go, go, go!

Go.

Watch the pressure. No air

was gonna hurt anything.

What are you up to now? I

told you to watch that tire!

I'm dreadfully sorry. I'll

have it fixed in five minutes.

Five minutes and I'm sailing on

the Colossal ten minutes ago.

Drat! Drat, drat. I'll sue ya.

Out of my way before

I hit somebody.

Cast off your lines.

Cast off your lines.

Slow speed astern.

Slow speed astern.

Slow speed astern.

Come on, snails. Get

the lead outta there.

Too heavy.

Too light!

That's too medium.

Let's see. That's all right.

Tee it up... quick!

Fore. Stand clear, boy.

You're all teed up, sir.

Oh, thank you.

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