The Big Clock Page #4

It was part of a lot.

A lot of what?

A lot of things.

A consignment.

I admit it is a trifle...

a trifle...

How much

do you want for it?

Well, I haven't set

a price for it yet.

Ten dollars?

Well, that's quite cheap,

but considering its condition...

I'll give ya $20.

I didn't realize

this was an auction.

Ten dollars,

and you needn't wrap it.

Just a moment, please.

If this gentleman thinks

it's worth $20...

He doesn't want it.

Oh, yes, I do.

Who's it by?

It's by someone

named, uh, Patterson.

Did you think

it was by Rembrandt?

Why not?

Oh, leave us not haggle.

I'll give you 30 bucks for it.

Well,

that's more like it.

Isn't it a pity

the wrong people

always have money?

That's not

what we came in for.

What was it?

Clocks.

Why, clocks.

Certainly.

Green clocks.

Green clocks. Oh, no.

I'm sorry.

No green clocks here.

That's a strange attitude...

to two tried-and-true

customers.

Very well.

Very, very well.

My guarantee

still stands:

a free drink to anyone

who can ask me

for something I haven't got.

We should have

thought of this place

a long time ago.

Good evenin',

Mr. Stroud.

Burt, how are you?

What'll it be?

Couple of bourbons

and one for yourself.

We can't mix drinks.

Yes, we can.

That's a fallacy.

Burt. Burt, old boy.

I got ya this time, Burt.

Something he'll never have.

Just watch.

Burt, a bubble.

A nice, big bubble.

This is gonna be

very interesting.

Why don't you try

to think of something

that I have not got?

How do you like...

They got everything.

Look at that there.

Well, Burt, me boy.

Good luck to ya.

Can you think of something

you'd like to see?

Yes. A clock.

That's too easy.

No, it isn't.

This is a green clock.

Green.

Green clock.

Mm-hmm.

Well, must be a green clock

around here somewhere.

Hello, me boy!

How are ya?

Well, George, how are you?

Burt, set one up for

President McKinley, will ya?

Meet the 23rd President

of the United States.

Twenty-fifth, George.

I beg your pardon.

It's a great pleasure.

Thank you.

I heard you were dead.

He is also Colonel

Jefferson Randolph

of Randolph Farms, Georgia.

Colonel Randolph?

We Randolphs, ma'am, propose

to fight the Yankees...

until the last drop

of bourbon has been shed.

Inspector Regan

of the homicide detail.

As an officer of the law,

'tis my duty to warn ya:

Anything this fella says

can be held against him.

Judge Goodbody, Dr. Lifesaver,

Christopher Columbus

and Theodore Roosevelt.

Here's your medicine.

Thank you.

We collectively thank you.

That's all right.

Don't go away

with the glass.

I won't. Very happy

to have met you.

Good luck to you.

So long.

Jefferson Randolph?

Inspector Regan? Who is that?

Radio, Pauline. Radio.

George. George.

What?

Do you remember what

we were talking about?

No. Hey, how about

that clock, Burt?

Oh, the clock. Wait a minute.

I don't think...

Oh, no. It won't do it.

I didn't think so.

Well, how about this?

I said green.

I know. You said green.

Let me see.

Oh, I have it here.

Not in a mile and a half.

A brand-new sundial.

Sundial?

And a nice, green ribbon

from my old uncle's shillelagh.

I'm tellin' ya,

the guy's wonderful.

Just as green...

as the old sod itself.

You're wonderful.

Let's have a little

green music, shall we?

Just a minute.

How about that thing...

Just put it right on the bill.

Hey, laughin' boy, how about

a little green music, huh?

George, claviash.

Oh, Smish, come on.

A little green music.

All right, junior.

"E" flat.

Hey! Yee-hoo!

Burt, set up drinks

for the boys,

and make 'em green!

- Green.

- Got ya!

George. George.

Mmm.

George, come on.

I'm fixing you something.

Mmm.

You'll feel better.

George. George, wake up.

Earl's car's downstairs.

Come on.

Huh? What happened?

You passed out.

He's on his way up.

Who is?

Janoth. Janoth.

Come on, now.

Oh.

You gotta get up.

Hurry. Hurry.

You'll be all right.

Here's your hat.

Here's your hat.

Take your halo.

I want you to have it.

Little memento.

All right, thank you, but hurry.

Wait'll you hear

the elevator,

then use the stairs.

George! George!

Your picture!

Oh, hello, dear.

I'm so glad you didn't

have to stay over.

I said, I'm so glad you didn't

have to stay over.

Was it a pleasant evening?

Marvelous.

Met a lot of bright,

brand-new people.

What were you doing?

Oh, just moving around

from spot to spot:

Van Barth,

a few other places.

Oh, don't

turn the radio on.

I like it. Don't you?

Have a nice trip?

Was he one of them?

One of who?

Oh, you mean the bright,

brand-new people?

Yes.

Who was

this brand-new person?

Just a man.

I don't suppose

you know him.

His name's

Jefferson Randolph.

Southern family.

I suppose.

Charming boy.

What does he do?

Nothing much, I'm afraid.

Sort of a playboy.

Where did you get this?

Some crazy bar he goes to.

At least this time

he wears a clean shirt.

Just what do you mean by that?

You know.

Are you bringing that up again?

Throwing that cab driver in

my face? You never forget him.

No. Do you?

No, you cheap imitation

Napoleon.

And you don't forget

the bellboy or the lifeguard

last summer,

and who knows

how many others?

You don't forget

any of them, including

the one to come.

You talk!

You of all people!

You talk about my friends.

Hah! That's priceless.

What about you

and the Artways secretary?

And the stenographer,

the elevator girl,

the kid in publicity,

the photographer's model...

Do you think they'd look

at you twice if you weren't

the great Mr. Janoth?

Do you think you could

make any woman happy?

Have you lived this long...

without knowing that everybody

laughs at ya behind your back?

You'd be pathetic if you

weren't so disgusting.

You flabby, flabby,

ludicrous, pa... No!

Earl.

Steve,

I've just killed someone.

I've no right to come here,

but I didn't know

where else to go.

Well, she's been

asking for it

for a long time.

She's a regular little comic.

She was one of the most

generous women that ever lived.

Then why did you

kill her?

I don't know, Steve.

I just don't know.

From here I go to my lawyer,

then to prison or the chair.

I'm sorry I disturbed you.

Don't be a fool, Earl.

What about

Janoth Publications?

I know. What can I do?

Do you want to fight,

or do you want to quit?

If there's any chance at all,

you know I'll take it.

Of course there's a chance.

You're not the first man

who ever got into a jam.

You've been very discreet

about Pauline. No one knows

about her but you and me.

Now, let's see

what we can work out.

Tell me what happened.

I can't describe that,

Steve.

Try, Earl.

Thirty seconds before,

I didn't intend

anything like it.

I just don't

understand it.

I killed her with some sort

of a sundial she'd picked up

somewhere. Heavy metal.

That's still there.

Where's your hat?

I left that.

All right, Earl.

I'll go over there

and clean things up.

Steve, I'm gratified.

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