The Big I Am Page #5

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- Is that a threat?

- Yeah.

Well, then, tell your boys

to shoot me right now.

I mean it, Martell.

I've f***ing had enough.

Nobody wants his f***ing head

on a plate more than me!

And I'm gonna do it myself.

Not for you.

All you're gonna do is profit.

Well, I ain't seen

any f***ing profit.

You're on the hook.

All you gotta do is

wait for him to get released,

and we'll have

a big f***ing party, okay?

Don Barber is not long

for this f***ing life, okay?

I can assure you that.

I f***ing hope so.

- Take the next left.

- What?

We're making a detour.

[Cellphone rings]

Yeah?

All right.

Delivery's in 40 minutes.

We got time.

What's going on, Skinny?

What do you want?

- Robbo.

- Well, he ain't here, p*ssy hole!

So where is he, then?

Let him talk.

He's probably high as a kite

on your little farm, blood.

Robbo:
P*ssy hole!

See, last night,

you go in there

like a bad man, Skinny,

trying to make man look small.

But you know what?

I ain't f***ing having it.

- I gave you your dough.

- No.

You owe me.

You're always

gonna owe me.

What do you think,

just 'cause you got some new friends,

I'm gonna disappear or something?

Nah.

What the f*** do you want?

I want you to show me

some f***ing respect.

Or I swear I'm gonna burn down

this blood clot!

You can f***ing afford it now,

though, yeah?

Get the f*** out of here, p*ssy hole.

P*ssy! Get out!

Teach you mugs

not to f*** with my paper!

Get the f*** out of there!

Open the f***ing door!

God, you f***ing...

In the back.

You all right?

Sure?

You got somewhere to stay, bruv?

Betsy's.

I'll stay on the couch.

- Yeah? Good, girl.

- Yeah.

Mickey, we're out of time.

See you later, yeah?

What is all this sh*t, man?

[Engines turn over]

[Echoing]

Killa instinct

[lndistinct rapping]

Killa instinct, Wardrobe,

listen up

Get smacked in the face

with an uppercut

Bring the track from the back

if you're tough enough

[lndistinct rapping]

[Echoing]

Killa instinct

[Echoing]

Killa instinct

You are late.

Got somewhere else to be,

have you?

You want check cargo?

Now you give number.

[Monitor beeping]

Here is a toast

to lowering trade barriers.

Zdorovie.

[Cellphone rings]

[Sniffles]

Mickey, man.

SALLY:

Michael Skinner.

How well do you know him?

Well enough.

I've seen his record.

Between you and me, I don't think

he's cut out for your line of work.

He could be a real liability.

I mean, you put him under pressure,

you never know what he might say.

- He'll be fine.

- He'll be fine?

You need

to believe that, Mr. Barber?

Come here, you f***!

Get off!

Skinny,

what the f*** are you doing?

You wait till my boys find out.

What boys?

What you going up about?

You're on your own now.

What's going on, man?

Betsy.

Listen, I'm sorry, Skinner.

Come on.

Oh, he's sorry.

Skinner!

Skinny!

You can't do this!

It's just not you.

It's not who you are.

Skinny, come on, man.

We go way back.

F***ing finish him.

Let's get the f*** out of here.

F*** him.

Send Mr. Barber back

to the custody suite.

You halting the interview?

You gotta release my client. Now,

you've been holding him here for --

which leaves us still

- This is ridiculous.

- Don't worry about it.

One deceased, Peter Adams --

Do you have any idea

where his head is, Mr. Barber?

[Dance music plays]

Oi?

Bolly for the ladies?

Floyd, Nelson.

Mickey.

Here's to Mr. Skinner.

Mr. Skinner.

[Laughter]

Christ!

There he is.

The refugee from Butlins.

[Laughter]

Well, gents, the emcee

is profoundly privileged to be here

and is exceedingly happy

to see you all looking so dapper.

- Hear, hear!

- Cheers.

Cheers.

Yes, and it's his duty to report

that we have a live one downstairs.

My turn.

Time to check the goods.

Well, well, well.

Cheer up, darling.

Good journey?

You not joining in the party?

Oh.

You're not causing trouble,

are you, darling?

F*** you, fat a**hole.

Oh, yeah? You keep talking dirty

to me like that, darling,

and you could become

my new girlfriend.

[Screams]

You paying

attention, ladies? Yeah?

'Cause this is what happens

to troublemakers.

[Woman screaming]

[lnhales deeply]

Fat bastard

enjoys his work too much.

Yeah?

Yeah? Yeah?

They're gonna hang on

to Don a little bit longer.

But, um, sooner or later,

he'll be a free man.

And when that happens,

you'll be reunited.

If he finds out about me,

he will find out about you.

Clever girl. Actually,

I'm kind of counting on that,

so we got about 4 hours to kill here,

and I'm just kind of...

curious to know whether

you can handle the protg.

It's not like that.

How is it?

Don't tell me he's got you wrapped

around his little finger, okay?

I mean, come on, Liza.

What the hell is that?

It's a little bit late in the day

for that kind of bullshit information.

Surely to Christ.

[lntercom beeps]

What is it?

MAN:

Skinner party has arrived.

What will happen next?

Listen, are you

gonna take care of business,

or do I have to do it for you?

I'm gonna call Frankie.

[Clears throat]

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

Well, I can tell you're gentlemen

because I hear a certain thumping

under the table,

because you're anticipating

an evening --

an evening of unbridled lust.

Yes!

Stop salivating on the tables

or you'll rot the cloth.

Tonight we have

a veritable feast of the flesh.

[Barks]

Flesh in all shapes, sizes,

colors, and tastes.

Because the meat should be fresh,

juicy, and succulent.

And I mean succulent.

Well, it's like when you go shopping

in your weekly supermarket.

We think it's perfectly normal.

Yes!

So, come on.

Who will start the bidding?

Thank God you came back.

They will take me back

to the flat soon.

Give me the keys.

I'll meet you there

after you're finished.

We don't have long.

Long?

To do what?

Rip off your boyfriend

with the Yank?

What's wrong with you?

I'm fine.

And I'm holding on to the keys.

You don't understand.

You don't know what Don

can do to people.

You don't know what kind

of man he is.

Please.

I need them.

You need someone else.

Hey, kids.

Better drink up.

Gonna be late for the big show.

Then what are we waiting for?

[Laughs]

Some people think

that love conquers all.

Where I come from,

I think that maybe sometimes

love needs a little bit of help.

[lndistinct conversation]

[Dog growls]

Yes!

Now let's start the bidding

for this saucy little minx

from Estonia.

And saucy -- well, we mean saucy,

because we gents love a little bit

of saucy, don't we?

We love a little bit of naughty,

don't we?

So exercise your imaginations

and give us a little bit of the...

Yes, 5,000. 5,500, yes.

Buy cheap, sell high.

That's the only rule.

Come on, 10,000.

That's only 100 nights

with a SoHo whore,

and she'll go on for 5 or 10 years,

I guarantee you that.

And if, you know,

you feel like a part exchange

at the end of 10 years,

you can take it back,

so long as it's not damaged.

Yeah, slap it. Very nice.

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