The Big One Page #4

Grand Funk Railroad...

and they had those

"I want you to want me"guys...

Cheap Trick.

Random House

had arranged for me...

to speak that night

at the local Media Play.

[ltalian accent]

No photos, please. No photos.

MOORE:
Media Play

was a sprawling complex...

that sold books, CDs, videos,

and you could probably get...

a ten-minute lube job

while you wait.

Which way to home appliances?

I was really excited

to learn that Rick Nielsen...

the lead guitarist

from Cheap Trick...

lived just down the road.

So I asked Media Play's

P.R. Director, Pat...

if she knew if he was in town.

I think she was worried

I was gonna go off...

and hang with him,

so she told me...

he was absolutely,

definitely not in Rockford.

Why did I come to Rockford?

I really wanted

to go to some cities...

other than the ones

they usually send authors to...

New York, Los Angeles,

Boston, Washington, right?

And nobody

ever comes to Rockford.

Right? And I know

what that's like...

because I lived in Flint

most of my life.

Nobody ever comes to Flint.

MAN:
Thank you very much.

Thank you very much.

[People chattering, laughing]

How ya doin', Mike?

- Who's this to?

- Laura.

- L-a...

- U-r-a.

What do you do here?

- What do I do?

- Yeah.

I sell cars.

Oh, yeah?

What kind of cars?

Fords.

And I got laid off today.

Today? Oh, I'm sorry.

Wow.

And this just happened today?

- Mm-hmm.

- Do you have kids?

No, and I don't have kids.

But I don't know

how they expect the people...

30 to 45 to be able

to support their parents...

with jobs that they don't

have any benefits...

on themselves, at minimum wage.

MOORE:
I'm really sorry.

Can I give you a hug?

I'll come over there.

OK? I'm really, really sorry.

Yeah. That's OK.

I tell ya,

every city I go to...

every day,

this is what's goin' on.

You are not alone in this.

Well, I know that, and I'm...

That's why

I'm glad that you're here...

and just seeing you

meant a whole lot to me.

There you go.

"Downsized but not out."

LAURA:
Well, that's true.

All right, hang in there, OK?

Really. Seriously, man. OK?

- Thank you very much.

- I'm really sorry.

Thanks for coming to Number 300.

MOORE:
Ha ha! Fellow 300-ite.

That's right.

Good luck, Flint, Michigan.

All right. Take care.

Any advice for... You came from

the worst city in America.

Now you are in

the worst city in America...

according to "Money" magazine.

Any advice for the beleaguered

Rockford residents?

Yes. I've been to 20 cities

so far in this tour...

and the entire country

has seen the effects...

of what it's like

to be downsized...

while these companies

have gotten filthy rich...

and lots of people

have lost their jobs.

MOORE:
Rick from Cheap Trick

is not in town?

PAT:
No. They're not in town.

MOORE:
They're not in town?

And how do you know that?

PAT:
Oh, we have our ways.

MOORE:
How do you feel

about how it went tonight?

PAT:
I hear that

you only run about 3%.

People that listen to you

only have about 3% book sales.

To me, you mean?

That what they're saying?

Basically, yeah.

You have a lot of people

that listen to you talk...

but they don't buy the book.

Right. Good point.

So, now, where do you get

those numbers, from the reps?

- Mostly. Yeah.

- From Random House?

Mm-hmm. Those people tell you

a lot of things.

Yeah.

Like who have you talked to?

Other stores. Other areas.

Give me an example.

Barnes and Noble tonight

was really scared...

because they thought

you were over there tonight...

and they were worried.

They had no books.

Why don't they have any books?

I don't know why.

- They sold out, or...

- Probably didn't buy any.

You don't think they bought any

at the Barnes and Noble.

I want to review now what

I've learned from you tonight.

Number one...

only 3% of the people...

who come to hear me speak

have actually bought a book.

Mmm, no. That's low.

MOORE:
Three percent?

I mean, there were

100 or more people here...

and they sold

just over 100 books.

You know, it's a great

sell-through on an event.

Usually, if you can sell

at a ratio of 50%...

you're doing great.

Number two... Barnes and Noble

didn't have any books...

because they probably

didn't order any books.

Correct!

WOMAN:

It's been just a real...

MOORE:
Right.

Oh! These are all yours?

We were told

that they had no books here.

That it wasn't even ordered.

WOMAN:
Seriously?

- Yeah.

- Told by who?

Somebody down the street there

at Media Play.

WOMAN:
You can't always

believe everything you hear.

MOORE:

Yeah, I guess so, huh?

Last time we send people

down there, huh?

Number three... Rick from

Cheap Trick is not in town.

PAT:
Nope.

Here's something you might know.

It's three chords.

For your love

I'd give you anything

And more that's for sure

For your love

do, do, do, do, do

Do, do, do, do

You wrote a song, you know.

Too bad

the Yardbirds already did it.

- Yeah, right.

- They already covered it.

[Imitating Bob Dylan]

Come, senators, congressmen

Please heed the call

Don't stand in the doorways

Don't block up the hall

For he who has stalled

is he who is bald

Oh, the outside

[Humming]

It'll rattle your windows

and you'll shake like a stone

For the times

they are a-changin'

Oh!

[Both humming]

For the times

they are a-changin'

[Laughing]

The answer my friend

Forget this book tour.

Forget the movie crap. Come on!

I could be a Dylan impersonator.

On the road, baby. You're it.

I am on the road.

Forty-seven cities.

- That's commendable, you know.

- How do you guys do this?

It's travel and perform,

travel and perform.

That's, uh... you, uh...

You kind of look forward

to a day off.

- I did Media Play in Rockford.

- So did we.

- You did Media Play?

- You're dang right we did.

- I don't feel so bad now.

- Oh, thanks.

But I walked in there thinking,

"What is this?"

I felt like that scene

in "Spinal Tap", you know?

"Puppet show and Michael Moore,

appearing tonight."

MOORE:
What's your advice

for Milwaukee?

RICK:
Well, where are you going?

We're going

to Schwartz's book store.

Yeah, we're playing there next.

You've never played Schwartz's.

BOTH:
On the road again

Good night, everybody. Peace.

[Country western music playing]

I didn't understand

till I was grown

Why my daddy didn't spend

a little time at home

Instead of runnin'

'round the country

That way

Whoa

I'm lookin' at the world

through a windshield

Seein' everything in

a little bit different light

I got a sweet little thing

That I'm dyin' to see

in Nashville

Milwaukee is not a New York

or a Chicago or an L. A...

so we don't tend to have as many

high-profile celebrity types...

movie stars, et cetera.

So we tend to get people...

who don't take themselves

quite so seriously in Milwaukee.

We're considered more

of a second-tier city...

so we get

more thoughtful people...

who are literary writers

or nonfiction writers...

or like Michael,

who is doing...

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes