The Big Steal

Turn around.

You're on the wrong track, pal.

- Wrong track with the wrong man.

- Save it for Washington.

We're flying back today

and we're taking it with us.

No, we're not. I haven't got it.

Where is it, Halliday?

I told you, you're on the wrong track.

Now, if you'll sit down and stop pointing

that gun at me

and let me do some talking...

Shut up, you've got nothing to talk about.

Get your bag.

Put it down.

I'm only gonna drink out of it.

Do you mind?

We got no time.

Call me seorita.

Vamos, will you?

Will you get out of the way?

Scram, will you?

Come on, scram, por favor.

It's men like you who make people

like them contemptuous of tourists.

Doesn't it occur to you

they don't understand?

- Well, I spoke to him in Spanish.

- Oh, is that what it was?

- Two hundred pesos, seor.

- Forget it.

- One hundred pesos, seor.

- I don't want any.

- Twenty pesos, seor.

- Vamos, will you?

Twenty pesos.

Thank you, thank you, seor.

- If that means what I think it does...

- It does.

If you know so much about etiquette,

get to work on Chiquita.

Taxi! Taxi!

Oh, you can have it.

- Who is it?

- It's Joan.

Come on, Jim, open the door.

Why, Joan, darling,

where did you drop from?

Never mind locking it. I'm not staying.

Oh, now, Joan, don't let's start a fight.

Now you can give me back my $2,000.

Well, that's a fine way to greet

the guy you're engaged to.

What did you expect? Kisses?

I don't understand. I thought...

No, no, you thought I was the type of girl

who would sit home and cry her eyes out.

I don't get it. What's there to cry about?

The $2,000 you borrowed.

If you're going to put the dollar sign

in front of everything,

I guess I'm lucky to find it out now,

before we got married.

You know, darling,

a woman has to have a little faith in a man.

Oh, you're a fine one to talk about faith.

You don't know what the word means.

- Oh, don't I?

- Oh, stop it.

The last time you started that

it cost me my bank account.

- There's that dollar sign again.

- Where? I don't see it.

Come on, hand it over.

I was saving that money for my trousseau.

Oh, darling, your pride's been hurt

because I went away without a word.

And stayed away without several.

Will you try to believe there was a reason?

A good one.

Sure, you wanted to surprise me.

By not coming back.

But, darling,

I planned on starting back tomorrow.

Go on.

I wanted to walk in on you

and dump a fortune in your lap.

I don't want a fortune.

All I want is what you owe me.

I'm trying to tell you, I'm gonna

give it all back to you with interest.

Just as soon as I finish the little job I'm on.

- Then I'll just wait.

- Fine.

It won't take long. All I have to do

is deliver something to a man.

All right, where do we deliver it?

- We?

- You won't mind my going along?

No, of course not.

I was just going down to rent a car.

We'll leave in an hour.

You go on in and freshen up a little bit,

and I'll be right back.

- Is that what we're delivering?

- Yes.

- How long a trip is it?

- Oh, a couple of hundred kilometers.

We go through a little place called Libres.

Not Tehuacn?

No, that was another trip.

Oh.

Wait a minute, that's the only map I've got.

I'll keep it safe.

I hope this is waterproof, Mr. Fiske,

'cause I'm taking a shower

and it's taking one with me.

All right, Fiske, come on out.

What?

Come on out, sister.

Who is it?

Captain Vincent Blake, United States Army.

Open the door.

I will not.

- All right, then I'm coming in there.

- No, no, no, wait, wait. Just a minute.

- Chiquita, what are you doing here?

- Get out.

You army men might be accustomed

to group showers.

I like mine alone.

- Where's Fiske?

- Taking the parrot for a walk.

- You wouldn't be his wife, would you?

- No, I wouldn't.

Mmm-hmm.

I don't like that "mmm-hmm. "

I'm not his wife.

If you were,

I wouldn't be saying "mmm-hmm. "

- What are you looking for?

- Huh?

Well, just a few hundred thousand dollars.

There's nothing here.

- All right, where is it?

- I don't know what you're talking about.

When Mr. Fiske comes back,

he'll take care...

You want to know something?

I don't think Mr. Fiske is coming back.

Now, look here,

Captain whatever-your-name-is.

- Blake.

- You'll find Jim down at the bar.

Sure, he's probably

buying the parrot a drink.

Well, it looks like you were sort of

caught holding the bag.

You thought it was in there, too,

didn't you?

You weren't by any chance

planning on a few minks

and a couple of new convertibles,

were you?

I...

Are you always so chivalrous

to strange women, Captain Blake?

We'll kick that around some other time.

Boy. Boy.

What do you mean by yelling at him?

- You almost made him drop it.

- I'm sorry.

That wouldn't have helped much

in putting the pieces together.

This is almost 400 years old.

I was just trying to ask him

where I can rent a car.

Well, go ahead and ask him.

Where can I rent a car?

I can recommend you only Bobos Company.

One block down, Calle Vista,

and two blocks right.

Mister, mister, you're next.

That would be a 500-peso deposit, seor.

Where do I hit the highway to Tehuacn?

You drive six blocks down

to Calle Internacional, turn to the right.

- Did you check the spare?

- Thank you, seor.

- I was just coming back to get you.

- Sure you were.

You might need a clean shirt.

Who else have you been stealing from?

- What are you talking about?

- Stop lying, Jim.

I was talking to an army man.

He searched your rooms after you left.

We opened the same briefcase.

- Is the money in there?

- Who said anything about money?

- Captain Blake.

- Blake? But...

What did he look like?

That's Duke Halliday.

Yo no hablo so fast.

Having trouble, Mr. Halliday?

Hey, give me a hand, will you?

I can't understand this guy.

- So your name is Halliday.

- No, no... You know what it is.

- Come on, get this guy off my neck.

- Get him off yourself. You speak Spanish.

- What did you say to him?

- I told him we were complete strangers.

No, no, no.

Now, wait a minute.

Now you've done it.

What'd you have to get me into it for?

Into what?

I don't know what I got myself into.

The Inspector General's office.

You're going to have some

explaining to do.

Am I?

In that case, you better keep your mouth

shut if you want to keep Fiske out of jail.

If you want to stay out of jail,

you better do the same.

- Buenos das.

- Buenos das, seor.

- Oh, I speak English.

- Oh, I didn't know.

Oh, yes, I am student of my lieutenant.

He's University of California alumni.

Alumnus.

- That's fine, Captain, but...

- Inspector General.

Oh, sorry, Inspector General.

But there's no time to lose.

I've got to get out of here quick,

if you'll just listen to me.

Certainly. Your tourist card, please.

Come on, hurry it up, will you?

Thank you very much.

"Joan Graham. Age 24. Miami, Florida. "

Secretary to Vice President,

Mexican-American Import Corporation.

- This explains your excellent Spanish.

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