The Big Store Page #2

but we'll outwit them. We'll leave

under cover of my private smoke screen.

There goes my breakfast.

One more important thing,

Mr. Flywheel.

Nobody at the store, not even Tommy,

must know that you're a detective.

You're safe. I've kept it

a secret for years.

This is a gift from a grateful client.

- Indeed? Well.

They hung him last year.

That's strange. I could have sworn

I shaved this morning.

My car will be here in a moment. - Nonsense.

We'll take my car. Speed is imperative.

Quaint, isn't it?

- Demonstrator's model.

I've been trying to make up my mind

for years whether to buy this car or not.

My man will be along shortly.

Oh, my.

Oh, dear.

I had that seat built below window

level. Makes me safe from bullets.

How ingenious.

Take my seat. It's more comfortable.

- Thank you.

To the Phelps department store,

and make it snappy.

That settles it. I'm not buying this car.

Fix the door and take it back.

My veil. My veil.

Oh, dear.

Foreign cars are worthless.

- Oh, what a trip.

Hey, wait a minute,

You'll have to fix that door someplace,

and get all this junk out of here!

What's going on here?

Yes, your work on these books

is okay for a sucker like Tommy,

but it won't take the Hastings brothers

long to find out they've been juggled.

Now, we've gotta work fast.

Incidentally, your sister's

getting chummy with Tommy.

Joan doesn't know about this, and she's

not going to. - Now, I hope you're right.

If this falls through

on account of you or her...

Well, it better not, that's all.

You better not let

the boss catch you around here.

That's all right.

The boss and I are like that.

Tommy, I'm awfully busy.

- I'm here strictly on business.

I just came over to check

our recording sales.

If you mean your latest recording,

we sold the last one yesterday.

How many does that make

we've sold? - Two.

A new high, huh?

Oh, pardon me.

Have you Tommy Rogers'

latest record, "If It's You"?

Sorry, we're completely sold out, but

we're expecting some in any minute.

We have the sheet music here.

Why, you're Mr. Rogers.

Yes. You see, every Friday

is celebrity day.

Oh, Mr. Rogers, I wanted

one of your records.

Madam, I'd be more than happy

to make one for you personally.

If you'd just step around the counter.

- Thank you.

With our compliments.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, that was swell.

Just think, one of the toughest

kids in our neighborhood,

turning out to be the great

Tommy Rogers.

What's great about a fella that's written

songs and leads a corny little band?

It's a matter of breaks.

- Dad always said you were going places.

Well, wherever I'm going doesn't mean

a thing unless you go with me.

You won't be going anywhere if you

keep ignoring the danger you're in.

Is Mr. Grover in his office?

- Yes, just a moment.

Miss Phelps would like to see you.

He'll be right out. - Thank you.

Don't forget.

Oh, Mr. Grover, this is Wolf J. Flywheel.

- How do you do?

That's rather a personal question, old man.

How I do and what I do is my concern.

And if you marry me,

your concern will be my concern.

I've just hired Mr. Flywheel

as a floorwalker.

Martha, we have enough floorwalkers.

- Oh, please.

Well, if you desire. What experience

have you had in a department store?

I was a shoplifter for three years.

- Mr. Flywheel likes a little joke.

Just tell Mr. Grover

what experience you've had.

Do you object if I ask a few

questions? - Not at all.

Ask her anything.

- It's you that I'm asking the questions.

I just heard you ask her if you could

ask me a few questions. I'm not blind.

We will assume

that I am a customer.

I'm returning a baby carriage.

- Are you married?

Of course not. - What are you

doing with a baby carriage?

This man's a cad, a yellow cad.

Why, the whole thing is utterly ridiculous.

Now, I'll ask you a simple question.

It's bargain day. The store is crowded.

A woman faints. What do you do?

How old is she?

What difference does it make?

- Hear that?

A woman's life is in danger, and he asks,

"What difference does it make?"

And that charlatan is running your store?

Martha, I'd fire him immediately.

If Miss Phelps were not my fiance,

I would tender my resignation

and walk out for good. - Oh, no, no.

Fiance?

- Yes!

You mean that a woman of your culture

and beauty and money and wealth,

and money would marry

that impostor?

Just a moment. What's the idea

of prowling around here?

Why, that's Tommy Rogers.

- Oh, how are you, Tommy?

No, I'm Tommy Rogers.

- Well, how are you? - How do you do?

I'm Ravelli. I'm Tommy's

bodyguard.

You're Tommy...? I'm Tommy's bodyguard.

And I've just been engaged.

You'll excuse me.

So you all been engaged, huh? - Of course.

Here's my $ 5 deposit to prove it.

Well, keep the $ 5.

I'll guard Tommy for nothing.

Scab.

- I heard that.

You're not a floorwalker.

You're a so-called bodyguard.

What does this mean?

- Why, l...

I felt Tommy needed a real, experienced

detective to safeguard him, so I...

So she hired me, the greatest

detective since Sherlock Holmes.

I'm crazy about Sherlock Holmes. - It won't

do you any good. He's got a wife and kids.

So this man is a detective?

- Yes.

Mr. Flywheel.

- Just call me Wolf.

You revealed yourself. You've spoiled everything.

And after you promised not to tell.

How could I keep from telling the world

of your beauty and my feelings about you?

She walks in beauty. Like the night

Of cloudless climes and starry skies.

Why, that's Byron.

He was thinking of you

when he wrote it.

Wolf, do you remember this?

Thou friend, whose presence

on my wintry heart,

Fell, like bright spring,

upon some herbless plain.

Shelley?

- Shelley.

They're not writing

that kind of stuff anymore.

Here's a little something to you.

"Your eyes so blue, your heart so true,

Your lips divine,

say you'll be mine.

Wolf, where did you ever learn

to write such beautiful poetry?

I worked five years for

"Burma-Shave".

What is this man? A detective,

a floorwalker or a poet?

All three and not bad

at making love, eh, Martha?

I can't stand this any longer,

and I won't stand it.

Just a moment, Mr. Grover.

If my aunt wants this man to be

my bodyguard, it's okay with me.

Mr. Flywheel, my life is

in your hands.

I wouldn't be happy here.

I'm not appreciated.

Not appreciated?

Why, I think you're great.

What do you...?

What do you really think of me?

Well, I think you're wonderful.

- Do you...?

Do you think I'm any good?

- Man, you're terrific.

How am I? All right?

- Want to know? You're sensational.

I could listen to this man forever.

And now, if you don't mind,

Martha and I would like to be alone.

Scram!

Hey, hey.

Come on, get that thing away

from that fireplug before I start writing.

Nobody puts anything over on me.

Thanks, buddy.

Give me that purse.

You stole it.

Then where'd you get it?

Oh, so you found it, huh?

Well, if you found it, take it

to the lost-and-found department.

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