The Black Room

1

No!

Leave us alone.

I know what day it is.

But anniversary or not,

this year I refuse!

I'm not letting you out,

and I am not feeding you.

And you must be quiet!

I know that you know,

that my granddaughter

is in this house, visiting.

She's innocent like I was.

And she's gonna stay that way,

and there's nothing, nothing,

nothing you can do,

because I will destroy you

before you touch her!

Now, shut the f*** up!

And you leave us alone.

You can complain all you want.

You are never getting out!

How is this possible?

How did you?

No! Oh, no. No, please!

No, no!

Yes! Yes! Oh!

No!

Yes!

Oh, yes! I'm ready!

No!

Nana?

Oh, darling, I'm so sorry!

-What?

-Oh, this is all my fault!

I should have known

it was going to try something

when I wouldn't let it in.

But it ends tonight!

Put your clothes on.

Nana?

Sh*t!

Nana?

Nana?

Do you remember this?

Do you?

Not dawn.

No... not dawn.

If you want somebody...

You take me.

Nana, are you down here?

No!

Nana? What's happening?

What's wrong?

Nana, I can't get the door open.

It's shut!

No!

Nana?

Nana?

No!

No!

Trust me,

you've made the right decision.

You two will be so happy here!

Can't believe we finally

got our own home!

I told you we'd get there.

I can't believe

it came fully furnished.

Are you sure the

previous owners

don't want any of it?

No, it's all property

of miss black's.

- Ever since she...

- Left

There's nobody around

to claim it.

-Not even her family?

-No.

No.

Well, ever since the

horrible incident with their

daughter in the basement,

which would never

ever happen again, by the way,

they want to have

nothing to do with it,

so they... they...

Decided to put the house up

for sale once

the state allowed them to do so

and told my agents

to get rid out it.

-Seems odd.

-No, no!

It's not uncommon

when people face

this kind of family tragedy.

But only because of

bad memories and stuff.

Which is why

we're playing it safe.

We're placing a furnace.

You are very smart.

Refer a friend!

How about we christen

the couch first,

before my back goes out?

Stop it, put me down!

How about...

We start in the kitchen?

Well, to be fair

to the entire house,

i think it should be included.

It's a lot of rooms.

You sure you gonna

be up for that?

As long it's with you,

I'm sure I'll rise

to the occasion.

Oh, that's such a bad pun.

You want a quick word

or hot sex?

-What is that!

-Your welcome.

-Mm hmm.

-Uh huh.

What's down there?

If I'm not mistaken,

the basement.

Well, maybe we can

skip the basement.

As long as it

doesn't get jealous.

Romantic mood officially over.

Hello?

I'm gonna check it out.

Really?

I refuse to be intimidated

by my own house.

It's cold down here.

What's that?

Just me.

Oh, sorry,

i didn't mean to scare you.

Name's Oscar.

I'm the electrician.

You called us about

replacing your furnace.

Right. I didn't think you were

coming until tomorrow.

I had some down time,

so I thought

I'd check it out today.

- That real estate lady...

- Yeah, she let me in.

Yeah, I didn't see your truck

out front. Sorry. This is

my wife, Jennifer. I'm Paul.

I'd shake,

but it's kinda dirty down here.

Got it.

So, listen, you don't

seem to have any problem

with your heating.

Good furnace.

Built to last.

Apparently, there was a fire

here a couple of years ago

and a girl got burnt

pretty badly.

I wouldn't go

sticking your face in there.

These suckers get pretty hot.

Damn hot.

Yeah, well, if we were to

replace this one,

how much would it cost?

Well, I'll let you know

when I'm done

with my assessment.

Just trying to figure out

where all these pipes lead.

Lot of pipe down here.

Okay, we'll leave you to it,

and you'll let us know

when you have an estimate?

Will do.

-Nice to meet you.

-Same here.

Oh hey, you wouldn't

happen to have a key

to this door, would you?

You see, this pipe up here

goes through the wall

into there

and this door, it's stuck,

locked or something.

Sorry, we only have keys

to the main doors.

That's all right.

I'll figure it out.

Thank you.

Mmm--

Where were we?

Wanna have some fun time?

With Oscar, the

pervy electrician standing by?

I don't think so.

We'll lock him in the basement

so he can't watch.

Forget it!

Absolutely no sexual activity

until creepy 'Mr. fix-it'

is gone.

I guess

i jarred you loose.

What the f***

is this sh*t?

Oh, gimme a f***ing break!

Okay, f*** this sh*t.

Get me out of here!

Get me the f***

out of here!

Open the goddamn door.

Oh, Jesus.

F*** you.

Jesus Christ!

Too many weird f***ing fumes

in these cellars.

It's playing with my head.

Help me, dear god!

Hey, you almost done?

It's getting late.

Hello?

Oscar?

Good news. He's gone.

It's like the second home run.

-I'm filthy dirty.

-That's what I love about you.

No, I mean dirt-dirt. Real dirt.

Unpacking dirt.

Let's take a bath first.

What comes second?

Hopefully, both of us,

if we're lucky.

Oh.

Look what I found

in the back of the closet.

Wow. Spirit board.

I know exactly

what I wanna do with it.

So do I.

By the way,

Karen's gonna come for a visit.

- Your sister, Karen?

- Uh huh.

Isn't she still in school?

Well. Her school's

so close now.

-Wonderful.

-What?

I said, "wonderful."

I can't wait to see her again.

She's such a...

Joy to be around.

Mm. Somebody really wants

to get laid tonight.

What the?

Someone is playful tonight!

What are you doing down there?

Honey, if you keep that up,

i won't be able to...

What?

Hope you're ready

for some real fun.

Just give me a minute. Okay?

I don't think

i can wait a minute.

God, the weirdest thing

just happened in the bathroom.

Whatever it was, it must have

turned you on big time.

How did you know?

I reap the benefits.

Not yet, you haven't,

but you will.

Honey... yeah.

Woah, honey.

Honey, woah, woah.

I need a little down time,

all right?

You practically

drained me dry.

Seriously?

After all that talk

about doing it in every room

of the house,

now you're not

in the mood any more?

Look, I'm sorry. I mean...

-I warned you--

-really? Okay, I get it.

You're just teaching me

a lesson, right?

Because I made you wait.

-Honey--

-forget it.

Forget it, it's fine.

Let's just go to sleep.

Good night.

Well, the house is great.

It's Jen that I don't get.

You know, one minute she's

sex-crazed and the next

she's just crazed.

Why don't you and I swap wives?

Just for a week.

-Hey, watch it!

-No...

I think I can

help you with this.

I'm really good at it.

Do you wanna get punched?

No... please no punching.

But look,

I'm just like you on the inside.

There's nothing more

that I wanna do

than just curl up like a baby

and go to sleep

after the deal is sealed.

But...

But, there's nothing

that pisses off a woman

more than that, okay.

I tried it once with Stacy.

Once. No time off.

Howard...

When you're right, you're right.

You're not as dumb as you look.

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