The Boneyard Page #2

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to follow, no exceptions.

Now, you got an admissions form?

Sorry babe, not allowed in the boneyard.

- Pardon?

- It's a morgue, it's

kind of a, a new nickname.

- And well, it beats the stink hole.

- Oh boy, last year, we had one

over ripe customer in here, a floater.

When they cut into him downstairs,

the pus was oozin' all over the place.

We couldn't get the stink out, it was--

- Hey just uh, line us up

for a viewing room huh?

- Okay, gift wrap two John

Does, four oh 12, four oh 13,

chain four oh 14, got a

peepshow party of three, over.

You've heard the spiel.

- A couple a times.

- Okay, hear it again.

Now my rules are very simple,

keep quiet, keep outta trouble,

keep outta my hair,

there's so little of it.

Now equipment's delicate,

not what it used to be.

You break it you bought it.

And I'll be checkin' it out

before your IDs are returned.

Okay?

Party hardy.

- Who the hell was that woman?

I don't remember seeing her before.

- Well, you never been

here at night before,

she has been on the graveyard

shift since year one.

Nobody has the guts to

fire her, that's all.

- Nah, the only way they

could get rid of her

is if they burned her at the stake.

- Uh, Shep you been here,

I mean don't you have a home to go to?

- No, dragon lady won't let me.

You know what I think,

I think she's fattening us all

up for Thanksgiving dinner.

- Oh sure, sure.

Listen I have a guest

here with me, Miss Oates.

- Alley Oates?

- Yeah.

- Shepard here, Willie Shepard,

the Harris case, you remember?

- Oh yeah, sure, you ID'd

those bone fragments I found.

- That's right, that

right, so how ya been?

You know I haven't seen you for so long,

I thought maybe you gave all this up.

- I did.

- So, well, what,

are you comin' outta retirement now?

- Oh sorta.

- Hey, hey, all right.

- Uh Shep, I wanna show her

the three kids there, huh?

- Haven't you see these

three stiff enough?

- Yes I have.

- You know what I think I oughta do,

I think I oughta wrap 'em all up

and then you can take 'em home with you.

- What are we doin' jokes

now about dead children?

Well, what do ya think, huh?

- Don't ask.

Any clothing, personal effects?

- Ah, wait wait, just this,

just this one thing here.

- A doll, nothing else?

- Nothing else, this is it.

- And I still can't go

down and touch the bodies?

- No way, no you'd be

contaminating the evidence.

The judge would throw the

case right outta court.

- Sh*t.

Hey Shep, think anybody'd

miss a lock of hair, huh?

- That's the little Oriental boy.

- Yeah.

- Is that enough?

- It'll do.

- I'll send it right up to you.

- Thanks Shep.

- Listen ah, let me know

how this comes out, would you?

- Yeah, yeah sure.

- I gotta go, peace and joy.

- Yeah, yeah, peace ad joy.

Here you are.

- I'll need a quiet room.

- Well, there's the old lounge

still right down the hall.

- The lounge.

- We're gonna stay out here in the hall,

so you will not be bothered.

Yeah Alley.

Hey thanks.

No, no, um, really.

- Well, I haven't done anything yet.

- Think she can really help us?

- Ah, you kidding, she's

already led me to a lotta clues.

- But she's never solved

any cases on her own.

- Well, Alley doesn't work that way.

From what I understand,

she she gets these impressions, you see,

and at first they're kind

of what, disjointed huh,

but then later on in the case

they start to make sense.

What, what do they say

hindsight is what, 20/20.

- Maybe she's uh, a little, uh, myopic.

Well so what, she takes an object,

something that belonged to the person

who's missing or deceased and--

- Exactly.

- And what?

- Well she, hey you want one of these?

- Nah, thanks.

- Uh see, a lotta times these objects

don't give her a feeling or anything

but other times, phew

she's right on the money.

- She have this all her life?

- Hey come on, you make it

sound like a disease or something.

No, no the story goes as I understand it,

about eight years ago,

she started going with

this Canadian guy, see?

And they lived together for a while

and Alley became pregnant.

Swell guy that he was, when

see told him, he split.

Well anyway, Alley decided that

she was gonna have the baby.

But she uh, she lost it,

there was ovarian cancer.

- Oh wow, that's really rough.

- After the diagnosis, she

went to a radiation treatment.

Two years that she fought like hell

and she won, not a trace, nothing.

Anyway, she started

getting these nightmares,

dreams that were a little too real.

She started following up on 'em

and seems like some of 'em

had some validity to 'em.

- So how did you meet up with her?

- She called me right outta the blue,

you know, I mean, I picked up the phone,

I thought for a minute

I had a nut on the line.

She said, so I got some information

on a case you're workin' on.

Well you know, I didn't

believe her at first,

but then latter on, hmm, hmm.

- Jesus Jersey, I mean you

really believe in her, don't you?

- Huh, hey, what, where are

those keys of yours, huh?

Here, look at this,

everybody gotta believe in somethin', huh?

Hey!

- Turn it around, Marty,

deliveries downstairs!

- I'm tryin' to

tell you there's no access!

- This is a lobby not Grand Central!

- Whoa, come on, what's

the trouble here, huh?

- Pneumatic line's ruptured

on the doors downstairs, they won't open.

Lilly Munster here, won't let

me through to the elevator.

- Regulations require direct delivery

through sub-level three!

- The doors are closed, Poopinplatz,

what do you want me to do,

leave the bodies to

stink up the parking lot?

- Hey whoa, whoa, settle

down, huh, settle down.

Where's the chief administrator?

- He's in bed.

- Well, who runs this place at night?

- Come on, what's to

run, there's me up here,

five coroners downstairs

with a room full of stiffs,

everybody's been laid

off or transferred over

to that shiny new

monstrosity in Jefferson.

- Terrific.

- Huh, we're only good for the overflow,

look, 22 years of community

service and what do we get,

the high and the mighty scrap

off the bottoms of their shoes

and hand us flattened human stool.

Uh, oh, ha, we get the

leftovers, like this.

Look at that!

- Give me break, I'm just a delivery boy.

- Is there any other way

in or out of the sub-level,

besides delivery or the elevators?

- If there was, do you think

I'd be tangling with her?

- Huh, good point.

- Very good.

We can work this out though.

Miss Poopinplatz get someone over here

to fix the doors down on

sub-level three, all right?

- It's late.

- Well, try.

In the meanwhile, we're

gonna use this lobby

as the emergency delivery

area, you got it, got it?

Would you mind answering the telephone?

All right, Marty come on.

- Jersey!

- Help him out.

Thanks, Jersey Callum.

Well great!

- Boo!

Watch out, sometimes they bite.

- Um, so uh, how did he uh?

- She man, it's a she.

If we knew that, she wouldn't be here.

Personally, it looks like a suicide,

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