The Book of Henry

People are decent mostly.

I say mostly

because we all know

there are some

real pricks out there.

People are decent

because they never forget

how to reach out.

Now and then,

they'll even surprise you.

But then again,

sometimes they won't.

I wanna be remembered

as the awesomest

dodgeball player ever.

I wanna win an Olympic gold

medal in dodgeball.

This will make the world

a better place

'cause I'll inspire other kids

to be dodgeball champions.

And that's what I think

about my legacy.

Good, Tommy. A little basic,

but some solid grammar

and paragraph construction.

Well done.

Who wants to go next?

Henry?

Yeah.

We can all talk about

making our mark.

But, isn't it just

comfort food

to stave off

existential crisis?

I mean, in the end, Tommy,

you've gotta realize that...

dodgeball isn't even

an Olympic sport.

But... our legacy isn't

what we write on our resume

or how many commas we have

in our bank account.

It's who we're lucky enough

to have in our lives

and what we can

leave them with.

The one thing we do know,

we're here now.

So I say we do

the best we can

while we're on this side

of the dirt.

And that's what I think

about my legacy.

Henry, remind me again

why we can't

put you in a gifted school.

'Cause it's better

for my psychosocial development

for me to interact

with a peer group

at a normal school

environment.

Yeah. Okay.

Thank you.

And so that's 3000

of TannenTech

at seventy-six with

a stop-loss at seventy?

And, you know what? Give me

ten Liffcom with Aluminad.

Two and a quarter.

Okay, yeah.

I think it'll work.

Let's just say

I've the benefit of being born

into a bull market.

Sorry, I'm late.

- Buckle up.

- Wrestle this backpack.

I really wish

you'd get a new car.

It's not like you can't

afford it or anything.

That isn't the point.

And besides...

There's nothing wrong

with the old car.

THE BOOK OF HENRY

Why won't you let me help?

I only broke one of them. Over.

Which led to

an electrical fire. Over.

Waffle irons are tricky. Over.

I just wish I could make

something like you do.

Okay, come on then.

- Okay, what do you wanna make?

- A flying trampoline.

You might wanna start small.

Rocket boots!

That's kinda hard too.

Okay, you have to build

in a fail-safe.

It's all about timing, set up,

covering every contingency.

One little miscalculation,

and the whole thing fails.

Like the waffle iron?

Waffle irons are tricky.

What if there are sharks?

Too shallow.

How about piranhas?

Indigenous to Africa.

Henry says,

"South America."

Fine,

South America.

But don't you worry,

if anything attacks you,

anything indigenous

to our region,

I'll be in here

in a flash.

Okay?

Okay.

- You okay?

- Yep.

Call out the capitals.

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.

Easy.

Augusta, Maine.

Salem, Oregon.

Albany, New York.

Hey, mom, what is this charge

for $147.50 at Funtime Cove?

Bouncy castle

for Peter's birthday.

The one that smelled like feet.

Bismarck, North Carolina.

Isn't that one

of the other Norths?

Tallahassee, Florida.

Did our financial statement

come in the mail today?

- Juneau, Alaska.

- Yeah.

I forgot to give it to you.

You should really read it,

and know what it says.

- Annapolis, Maryland.

- Wrong.

Right.

Cheyenne, Wyoming.

You know it doesn't

actually help

when you lean into it

like that.

Sure it does.

Look at that.

Look at that!

So he dyed his coat

all the colors of the rainbow.

Then the other squirrels

were jealous and sorry

because he looked

punk rock awesome.

And they learned

that real coolness

isn't about the color

of your fur,

it's about what

you've got beneath it.

The end.

So?

It was well told.

Hey!

You try writing

and drawing something.

It's about something.

It's a metaphor.

It seems someone hasn't

grasped the blue squirrel's

moral of acceptance.

Young engineer award?

When did you get this one?

It's no big deal.

I'd be psyched

if I won that.

I wouldn't just toss it

in the corner.

You can have it.

Okay. Let's get your

little tushies into bed.

You think I'm running

a nightclub here?

Can we do movie night tomorrow?

I can't, hon.

I've got the dinner shift.

Mom, I told you,

you don't have to work anymore.

What do you mean she doesn't

have to work anymore?

Nothing.

I'm just saying, it,

it's not necessary.

Just stay home

and work on your storybooks.

I'm sorry.

Are you sure?

Because... I mean,

I don't wanna invade

your sense of personal space

or anything.

Mom!

Goodnight.

On or off?

- On.

- Off.

Open or closed?

- Open.

- Closed.

Yikes, it's hot.

- Hey, mom?

- Yeah.

- Double click here.

- Easy! It's expensive.

Then you download

the bank statement

directly into the program.

Who says you're not smart?

No one.

Show me

what I just taught you.

I'm not a child, Henry.

Show me.

Okay. That's enough.

Let's see.

You just deleted

last month.

You're not doing

that right.

- What?

- Here, mom.

Susan?

Great. It's Glenn.

Mr. Sickleman.

Susan?

Hey!

I was wondering,

would you mind

keeping an eye

on your lawn?

Your unraked leaves are blowing

over to my property.

It's just hard to keep up.

Okay.

Yeah, I'll try.

Sorry, Glenn.

- Hey, sweetie!

- Hi.

Come here.

Hey!

Look at you.

Hey!

Found this in the woods.

Little cops in training,

boys?

Sorry, to be a pain

about the leaves.

I know it doesn't seem like

a big deal, but...

No, no. I... It is.

I, I get it.

Moving forward, I vow to

mind my leaf distribution.

Appreciate it.

My future daughter-in-law.

God.

She's adorable.

But her stepfather...

Glenn.

Mr. Sickleman.

Late again.

Dog ate my car.

Well, table seven says

their eggs are too wet.

So, have fun with that.

Hey, toots, how's tricks?

The feds are all over me.

Had to move money

into my Swiss bank account.

And the rates are terrible.

Tell me about it,

when I won the lottery,

you should have seen the taxes.

Eighty-two million

turned into sixteen million.

What am I gonna buy with that?

- Hey, table seven is real.

- You sell the castle yet?

Corsica. But I'm having a hard

time unloading Monte Carlo.

My b*obs are up here.

Yeah, easy.

Miss? This isn't

what I ordered.

Hey, Susan? The new payroll gal

ain't exactly the brightest.

She mailed your paycheck home

even though I told her

you were coming in today.

It's a nice neighborhood

you live in.

Somehow I always figured you

rent an apartment somewhere.

Thank God

for alimony?

Yeah, right.

I guess I could just set you up

with direct deposit

if that's easier.

I, I don't know.

I'll have to ask Henry.

You have to ask

your 11-year-old?

Twelve.

He's almost twelve.

Henry!

I need your help!

Morris took your medal!

Hurry! Let's just go!

Hey!

Thank you, Dot.

There he is.

Hey, Christina.

You okay?

Yeah. I'm good.

Henry! Henry!

Peter! Hey!

- Let him go.

- Henry!

- The medal!

- What's your problem, dude?

I told you to

stay away from him.

He's a little douche bag.

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