The Boondock Saints Page #9

Smecker reaches for the record button. Murphy puts out his

hand to stop him.

MURPHY:

(politely)

Excuse me, sir.

Murphy turns to his brother and speaks in Latin, in hushed

tones. It is subtitled in English.

MURPHY:

"What do we tell him about the guns

and money?"

CONNOR:

"We just got up and left. Bum musta

rolled them before the police got

there."

MURPHY:

(to Smecker)

Okay. We're ready.

Smecker in intrigued with this tiny display. He hits the

record button.

SMECKER:

You guys are not under oath, here. I

am assuming you knew these two guys

from before, huh?

CONNOR:

We... met them last night.

SMECKER:

They had some pretty interesting

bandages. Know anything about that?

They look at each other.

FLASHBACK. INT MCGINTY'S PUB NIGHT ST. PATRICK'S DAY

McGinty's's is packed to the walls with drunken Irish. A lot

of faces are recognizable from Noland's Meat. Connor is in

front of the bar. He and Doc are staring at each other as if

waiting for one man to give in. Connor has his arms across

the chests of Murphy and some friends, holding them in place.

They are interested in the competition.

PRESENTLY...

CONNOR:

(presently, imitating

Doc's voice)

Would someone please come over here

and...

DOC:

F***!

CONNOR:

me up the...

DOC:

Ass!

Everyone falls down laughing. Doc is angry and starts throwing

ice at them. DAVID DELLA ROCCO makes his way through the

crowd. Rocco is thirty-two years old. He has shoulder-length,

dark hair and a full beard and mustache that wrap around his

big smile. He charges up to the bar and yells to Doc.

ROCCO:

Hey! F***! Ass! Get me a beer!

This sends everyone even further into laughter. Doc throws

two huge fists full of ice at him. He backs away laughing.

The boys get up off the floor and have a huge group hug with

Rocco as they all scream each others names.

They all laugh and commence drinking.

INT. MCGINTY'S PUB NIGHT

The bar is trashed. It's mostly empty now except for the

brothers, Rocco, Doc and four friends. Everyone is very drunk,

including Doc.

ROCCO:

(trying to connect

with Connor)

...It's not that I'm homophobic. I'm

just afraid of faggots.

Connor pauses then bursts out laughing. Doc calls everyone

to gather round.

DOC:

I got some bad news. Looks like I'm

gonna have ta close d-down the bar.

The Russians have been buying up

buildings all over town, including

this one... F***!... Ass! And they're

not letting me renew my lease. I got

'til the end of the week to come up

with 26,000 dollars, or they take

the place. I left them a note telling

them not to show their faces t-

tonight. They been pressuring me ta

close and take the last few days ta

get all my sh*t outta here but it's

my right to stay open ta the last.

Long pause as everyone absorbs. They are upset.

ROCCO:

Let me talk to my boss, may I can...

He is cut off by everyone who obviously opposes Mafia

involvement.

DOC:

L-l-listen I don't want anyone ta

know until the last possible moment.

So you guys keep your traps shut. ya

know what they say; People in glass

houses sink ships.

Everyone has quizzical looks on their faces.

ROCCO:

Y'know Doc, I gotta get you a, a,

like a proverb book or something.

This mix and match sh*t's gotta go.

DOC:

What?

Everyone chuckles.

CONNOR:

(imitating Doc)

A p-penny saved is worth two in the

bush.

MURPHY:

(imitating Doc)

Don't c-cross the road if ya can't

get out of the kitchen.

Everyone laughs heartily. Just then, three large Russians in

suits enter. The obvious leader, CHECKOV, stands in front

with VLADDY behind one of Checkov's shoulders, with another

guy behind the other shoulder. They mean business. The

laughter fades.

CHECKOV:

(thick Russian accent)

I am Ivan Checkov. You will be closing

now.

MURPHY:

(after a long pause)

This is McCoy... we find Spock and

we got enough for an away team.

Everyone laughs. Ivan is angry.

CHECKOV:

Oh, how extraordinary. A bunch of

Irishmen... and they are being drunken

idiots. You are killing the

stereotype. I'm in no mood for

discussion.

(points to Doc)

You! You stay. The rest of you go

now.

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