The Bounce Back Page #2

Oh, brother! How about this for action?

Here is to Kristin and a rare night out

among the single and sexually active.

- Woo!

- Turn up!

Oh, brother.

Cheers!

- One more!

- Ah!

- Again!

- Ah!

- Two more! I lied.

- Ah!

- You're nothing today!

- Ah!

Nobody!

You've got Big Vlad. That's me. That's it.

- Where's your head at?

- Ah!

One minute! Get your mind right.

Yeah.

Get back to work!

Why do you let him talk to you like that?

I pay him a lot of money

to talk to me like that.

He is creepy!

- You're going to stand up to him?

- I ain't afraid of him.

Oh, please!

Unbelievable!

Oh, come on T,

don't sweat that national spotlight thing.

We'll get there.

The news cycle lasts minutes these days,

either you're going viral

or you're played out, simple as that.

What?

I see you've got yourself an idea.

What? Spit it out!

- The George Addison Show.

- Don't even go there T!

- I am serious.

- Hey, what did I say?

Hear me out.

We've got to crack the bestseller top 10.

He has a nationally syndicated talk show.

I mean, we keep slipping points, we can

kiss getting to number one goodbye.

Plus, there's a relationship

between you two.

Thanks, T, the irony is not lost on me.

I don't know what you mean by that,

but we need this.

That's my family you're messing with.

What are you talking about? Listen, man,

Julie and Aleya look happier than ever.

They're not going to mind you, you know,

working on George for a break.

What is wrong with you?

Oh, man!

You're not afraid of me, huh?

You owe me some sits!

Get in there! That's it! That's good!

You must be an only child, huh?

You're one ugly kid.

Let's go faster!

- Let's go!

- Okay!

Matthew!

Matthew. Come on, dawg.

Why would you leave me in that gym

with that crazy man?

- Terry, I've got to go, man.

- Look! Hey!

I am sorry. I was out of line.

I was out of line, man. Um,

look, I know

this Bacardi-sponsored pool party.

Boy, we could slide through there,

get you a little hot girlfriend.

You know I am about to go do my seminar.

You really should come.

No, no, I'm cool, cool.

No, I have a perfectly healthy love life.

Please! No, you don't!

- How would you know?

- You're a grown man

who has never been in love,

that's how I know.

Look, man, bag yourself a girlfriend, dawg,

a famous one would be nice.

Think about it.

Up and coming relationship guru

comes into a love thing

with a famous Hollywood actress.

It sounds good, don't it? Do it!

It's been valuable. I am

not saying it hasn't.

I just don't know if this is for me.

I see!

And why is that you think?

No one

ever got anything they

really wanted in life

sitting around introspecting themselves.

Sometimes you have to get out

of your head and into action.

Matthew Taylor,

the person that you're quoting,

you're quoting Matthew Taylor.

No.

One can only introspect oneself,

that's what the word means.

So saying introspect oneself is redundant

and might suggest that

Mr. Taylor doesn't know

what he is talking about

when he uses that word.

Yeah, but...

Secondly, he is a life coach,

i.e., he has no training of any kind

in psychology or human behavior.

I took his seminar last weekend

- and it changed my life.

- And it might

seem like that right now,

but in time, I assure you that you will

realize that you wasted your money.

.Really?

Yes!

- Yes!

- You should try it.

It might help you

pull the stick out of your ass.

Oh, God! I blew that one!

- Get in!

- What is this thing?

Remember that professional wrestler guy

that I kind of dated and then...

Oh, wait, hey, no, look,

as far as you're concerned,

it doesn't matter,

this is your weekend chariot.

Yeah, she is right.

Here is how it's going down,

we're going to go to your house.

You have exactly 15 minutes

to pack a bag and then

we are taking you away for the weekend.

No is not an acceptable answer.

No, we will not answer any questions,

so don't even try.

Well, here...

Here is for when your a**hole

gets too tight for its own good.

Fine, I'll take them,

but I won't take them.

- Get in!

- Okay.

- Ready?

- Yes.

We freak in my jeep

Snoop Doggy Dogg on the stereo

You could travel the world

But nothing comes close

To the golden coast

Once you party with us

You'll be falling in love

Oooooh? Oh Oooooh?

California girls

We're unforgettable

Daisy Dukes Bikinis on top

Sun-kissed skin

So hot we'll melt your my jeep

- Hey!

- Hi!

- I am ready for the Gas Lamp.

- Oh!

Yes, but first, we're going to do

a little personal enrichment.

- What are you talking about?

- Yeah.

- Where are we going?

- You'll see.

It's going to be really exciting.

You're going to love it.

Thank you, ladies.

Now, the man you've all been waiting for.

That guy.

He is gorgeous.

Hello, ladies.

My name is Matthew Taylor and

this is The Bounce Back!

What we're going to do this weekend

is delve into the strategies in creating

the kind of love that

you want for your life.

Oh, no! No way!

This is not happening, girls.

- Hey, wait, you need to be open to this.

- How many of you are here

because you've had

your heart broken recently?

That's original.

Okay. Do me a favor, keep your hands up

until I ask you to put them down, okay?

If you've had your heart broken

in the last week,

go ahead and put your hands down.

In the last month,

if you've had

your heart broken in the last month,

go ahead and put your hands down.

- Six months?

- Really?

How about the last two years?

Three years?

Five years?

- Keep it up.

- I don't want to keep it up!

Six years?

Miss?

Miss?

Miss?

- Would you mind stepping up to the mike?

- Oh, no, no, I am good.

What's your name?

Kristin Peralto.

Kristin. So how long has it been, Kristin?

It has been six and a half years.

Oh! Ooh!

Okay, okay, it's all good.

It's nothing to be ashamed of.

All of us here know how hard it is

to get over a relationship.

Kristin, if you would humor me, step up to

the mic so everybody can hear you?

I'm good. I'm good.

I'm good. I'm really good.

I'm good, I'm good.

How many of you have heard the old saying

about how long it takes

to get over a relationship?

Oh, half as long as you were in it.

There it is, that's the one I was looking

for, half as long as you were in it.

How many of you

actually agree with that theory?

Would you like to know

how long it really takes?

Yes.

Exactly as long as you want it to.

So, Kristin,

getting over a relationship

takes exactly as long as you want it to.

Yeah, if it were that easy.

- What do you do for a living?

- I am a therapist.

So you are trained to dissect the past,

to really dig into it, sift through

it in great detail, am I right?

If you insist on

grossly oversimplifying it, sure.

How is that working out for you?

I've heard your spiel

and it sounds marvelous,

who wouldn't want

to get over a painful breakup instantly?

You don't.

People grow real attached to their pain.

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