The Boys Are Back Page #7

I can't, Dad...

I can't.

All my friends are here.

It's not fair on Mum.

I'm sorry.

- So, when are we going?

- Tomorrow morning.

When is Harry coming? Daddy?

He's not coming with us, sweetheart.

He's going to stay here.

He'll come for holidays and stuff.

It's your fault!

Please do not leave

your luggage unattended at the station.

Luggage left unattended

may be removed without warning

or destroyed or damaged

by the security services.

Artie.

Artie?

- Artie?

- Daddy!

Don't you ever check your messages?

We don't have much time.

You won't lose him. I promise.

The saving on school fees alone is

like five trips back here a year.

Thank you for saying that.

Good luck with the baby.

Keep us posted.

So, here we are,

a father and two sons,

surviving in a household

without women.

Like a year-long experiment

in a satellite,

free from earthly influences.

Harry, did you just wipe your face

with a dog?

Hey, wipe your face with your own dog!

See the pyramids along the Nile

Watch the sunrise on a tropic isle

Given its inadequacies

as a child-rearing unit,

I like it.

It's Home Alone,

except there's three of us.

- Gosh!

- Yes!

- I'm off.

- Take that, chuckles.

- I'll be back by 6:00.

- Out!

- No, it was in. It was in.

- Out.

- Referee?

- Six-five to Artie.

- Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

- Bye, then.

Bye, Daddy.

You belong to me

I'd be so alone without you

Maybe you'll be lonesome too...

Come on.

Come on, Vegemite. Liquorice.

I don't think

he brushes his teeth enough.

I agree with you about that.

Can't you get him to do it twice a day?

Once a week would be an advance.

I can't understand

why they're so white, though.

Is he brushing them in secret,

do you think?

What about his hair?

When did he last wash his hair?

Well, they wash it when he gets it cut.

And I'm rigid about that.

He gets it cut twice a year,

whether he needs it or not.

- He seems happy.

- I'd say he is, usually.

God, he misses you.

- He still remembers me?

- Of course.

Don't ever think that we'll forget you.

You'll always be his mother.

- One more thing.

- What's that?

Will you do

one more thing for me, Joe?

Anything.

Buy that convertible.

I will.

And if anyone asks, I'll tell them why.

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