The Brass Bottle

---

Mr. uh,

Harold Ventimore.

He's in Mr. Beevor's office.

Here I'll sign for it.

Harold, the $40,000 price

bracket houses

are in drawer four.

Take out any one of my sketches,

change the trim,

add a little gingerbread

and they'll love it.

Don't you think

they're entitled to something

a bit more original than that?

Don't waste your effort.

The average client

no more wants an original house

and he wants an original hat.

Time you learned that.

Oh, my kum-kum came

Did you say kum-kum came?

Kum-kum, that's what

the auctioneer called it.

It's spelled with a K,

K-U-M K-U-M.

My Kum-kum came.

The ancient Arabians used

these to carry rose water.

Should come in handy

if you plan to do

much rose water carrying.

It's a welcome home present

for Sylvia's mother and father.

I thought Professor Kenton

was in Europe on a lecture tour.

He was.

But when Sylvia wrote that

we were getting married,

he cut it short.

Naturally,

caught the first jet plane

home in a panic.

Panic? Oh, no,

I never thought of it

in that tone of voice.

Do you really expect

this to impress

a Professor of Egyptology?

Yes. The Auctioneer said

it's an authentic relic.

Authentic my foot.

These cheap reproductions

are turned out by the thousands.

Oh, no, not this one.

You see, it's even got ancient

hieroglyphics around the seal.

Hmm, translated,

they probably say

"Made in Japan."

He's here.

I wish I weren't.

Anthony, you promised.

You know,

every time I hear his name,

I see him in that silly beret

with that silly beard,

painting those silly pictures.

That was in Paris, Father,

the beret and beard

are gone forever.

But he isn't.

You're getting yourself

all worked up, dear.

You're beginning to twitch.

Well, well, how can I help it?

After all the fine young men

that were interested in Sylvia,

she has to fall in love

with a crackpot.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Oh, what's that?

- Surprise. Uh--

where did you get that lamp?

That wasn't here last night.

Well, there was a wonderful sale

on Japanese imports at Sears.

Well, what--

- Where's Harold?

- Well, he was here.

He's, uh, he's out there.

I mean, uh, oh, here he is.

Harold, how nice to see

you again.

- Thank you.

- You come in.

Welcome home, Mrs. Kenton,

Professor Kenton.

Young man, I flew 6,000 miles

just to talk to you.

- Father.

- Anthony.

Why didn't you just say no?

Why did you let

him talk you into it?

I want our marriage to start

off with everybody happy.

Your folks can't be

as long as they've got

any doubts about me.

Are you sure you aren't

the one who has doubts?

Me? Well, now whatever put

a silly thought like

that in your mind?

Well, ever since the Jenkses

came back from Paris

and you moved them

into your home,

all I've been hearing about

is the fun you used to have.

The crazy scavenger hunts

in the Louvre

and the-- the barge you bought

and used for parties

with everybody swimming

in the Seine

at 3:
00 in the morning.

Are you sure you aren't going

to miss all that?

Of course not.

We have...

Disneyland.

I'm sorry I had to ring.

I forgot my key.

No trouble, darling.

Hazel, come back.

How's it going, Seymour?

I don't know. I'm not finished.

Now, I'm finished.

Oh, you have done it this time.

You have captured the real me.

We have cause to celebrate.

I have a feeling

that the first genuine

Anatole will found a new school.

Who's Anatole?

I finally figured out

why none of my masterpieces

have ever sold.

My name, Seymour Jenks,

it's not artistic.

From now on, it's Anatole.

Yes, yes.

Oh, how nice, Sylvia's parents

brought you a wedding present.

No, I-- I'm just going

to make a Japanese lamp.

Seymour, could you lend me

your hammer and chisel?

Between us, my friend,

it's share and share alike.

You share your home with us,

and in return,

all our worldly goods

we share with you.

Thanks.

What date did the Kentons

set for the wedding?

They didn't.

They made us postpone

it a few months.

How wonderful, Harold,

now we all have cause

to celebrate.

Me because of my masterpiece,

you because of your reprieve.

Let's go out on the town.

I don't think

I'd be very good company.

You go without me.

Take the keys to the car.

Better take the credit card.

Have fun, kids.

What happened?

What's burning?

Seymour?

You're not Seymour.

Who are you?

What are you doing here?

What are you dressed up for?

Hey?

What is this another one

of Seymour's gags?

Well, why don't you say

something?

Thy tongue is as strange to me

as is thy appearance,

oh, beardless one.

I took the moment

to learn to speak it.

Very funny Seymour

and his dumb gags.

How'd you get in here anyway?

In that,

as though indeed

must surely know

since it was thy hand

that removed the seal.

Oh, cut out

that silly double-talk,

you're not even any good at it.

I was but expressing

my gratitude

for my release

from the brass bottle.

Know, oh, best of mankind,

that I am Fakrash-el-Amash,

one of the Green Jinn.

The Green what?

Surely thou has knowledge

of the Jinn?

Oh, surely, you're a genie

like the one in Aladdin's lamp.

That explains how you fit

into the brass bottle.

- Even so.

- Uh-hmm. All right.

Come on, how much is Seymour

paying you for this corny act?

I have no knowledge

of such a one.

It was King Suleyman the Great.

Son of Daood, who imprisoned me.

You mean, King Solomon?

Yay. Solomon is Suleyman

and Suleyman is Solomon.

Um, let's go talk

to Seymour, shall we?

He's a big King Solomon fan.

Nay, what I have to relate

is for thy ears alone.

Know, oh, young man

of kindness and noble deeds,

that I had a kinswoman

of such surpassing beauty

that King Suleyman

took her as wife 1001.

And it came to pass

that a certain Jarjarees,

son of Rejmoos,

informed the king

that she was my beloved

and not my kinswoman.

Well, that was a pretty

dirty trick.

The great Suleyman,

on whom be peace,

was angered and commanded

that I be imprisoned

in that bottle

and cast into the sea,

there to abide the day of doom.

If I were to serve thee

a thousand years,

I could not requite thee

for my deliverance.

Don't mention it. Excuse me.

Operator,

get me the police instantly.

I don't know if he's violent.

Get here before I find out.

All right, I'll stall him.

But send the nearest

patrol car in a hurry.

You'll find the key

is wrapped in a handkerchief

on the front walk. Hurry.

Wondrous changes have taken

place in the centuries

I have been imprisoned.

Most remarkable.

And what manner

of creature abide

in these diminutive edifices?

Those are models of homes.

I'm an architect.

Ah, a useful calling.

Perhaps thou has heard

of a friend of mine,

Mubarak, Son of Asnam?

He designed tombs

in the land of Egypt.

Triangular ones.

But no, that was centuries ago.

Ah. And this is thy

honored name,

Harold Ventimore?

- Yes.

- Son of?

My mother and father.

Truly thou must be an architect

of remarkable repute.

No, I'm afraid not.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes