The Brave Little Toaster

Good morning,

good morning!

That was

"A-Billion-and-One Strings,"

playing one of

your favorite tunes.

At the top of the news

this morning...

there's monkey

business in Utah.

A band of renegade

chimpanzees...

have kidnapped Pulitzer prize-winning

poet Lester Charles.

What's the big idea?

I'm attempting to sleep!

I doing a broadcasting.

Do you mind?

Whoa,

not in the face!

Uh, the chimps

are protesting...

I've got a mind to reset

your alarm... permanently!

Sorry, folks.

We're experiencing

technical difficulty...

but it's nothing

we can't handle!

This just in.

Domestic violence erupts

in peaceful cottage!

We'll keep

you post...

Whew!

Can't hear your own thoughts

with all the racket.

Holy mother of Edison!

What were you thinking?

You might have

broken my bulb!

I'm thinking you think too much.

We need wake-up music.

# So when it's raining #

# Have no regrets #

#Because it isn't raining

rain you know #

#It's raining violets ##

Blah!

Va-rooooom!

I'll track you to

the end of this carpet.

Come here.

I'm going to get you.

Wait till I fix

your speaker!

Rusetti picks it up

and throws.

Cepeda tags,

he heads for second.

Wait till I get

my plugs on you!

The crowd goes wild.

Can you believe those

Brooklyn Dodgers!

I've got you.

I've got you now.

Ha, ha, ha.

Come here.

You dare to cross foils...

with the greatest Saxon

swordsman in the land?

Have you any

inkling who you're dealing with?

Precisely. A total idiot.

If your saber

wags as loosely as your tongue...

you'll be run through

in an instant.

Defend yourself,

Sir Lampy of Locksley.

- A blow for Richard!

- Ouch!

- A blow for Marian!

- Ouch!

- A blow for Mario, the garbage man.

- Ouch!

And for the boys

at the delicatessen.

And here's one for

the guys on 5th Street.

No!

Whoa! Ugh!

What's going on?

Who turned out the lights?

Good morning.

Good morning,

Toaster.

- Hey, slots.

- Salutations!

Umph!

- Thanks.

- What's on our lineup today?

What are our

instructions?

What are we

gonna do today?

The same thing we've done

for the last 2,000 days.

Chores!

- Chores?

- It'll be fun.

I'm always

up for fun!

Listen, a broadcast

from Ebbets Field!

It's the top

of the ninth...

I don't understand

how chores could be fun.

Not supposed to be fun.

It's work!

I don't like to work

without the Master.

Well, okay.

If you don't want to work,

why don't we play a game?

- What sort of game?

- What are the rules?

There's only one rule.

You can't stop till

the house is clean.

- Boo!

- Boo! - Boo!

Gotcha, pal.

Leave it to me.

Hang on to your hats,

you devil dogs...

because the master

bebop blaster...

is gonna give you

a soul injection.

#Whop bop-a-loo-momp

a lomp-bomp-bomp #

#Tutti frutti

Oh Rudy #

#Womp bop-a-loo-momp

a lop bomp-bomp #

#I got a gal

named Sue #

#She knows just

what to do #

#I got a gal

named Sue #

#She knows just

what to do #

#She rocks to the east

She rocks to the west #

#But she's the gal

that I love best #

#Tutti frutti

Oh Rudy #

#Womp bop-a-loo-momp

a lomp-bomp-bomp #

#I got a gal

named Daisy #

#She almost

drives me crazy #

#I got a gal

named Daisy #

#She almost

drives me crazy #

#She knows how to love me

Yes, indeed #

#Boy, you don't know

what she do to me #

#Tutti frutti

Oh Rudy #

#Tutti frutti

Oh Rudy #

#Tutti frutti

Oh Rudy #

#Womp bop-a-loo-bomp #

#Tutti frutti

Oh Rudy #

#Womp bop-a-loo-momp

a lop bomp-bomp #

#Got a gal

named Daisy ##

Hey, shhh. Quiet!

It's the blanket!

A car.

- A car?

- A car!

All right,

fellows, steady.

A little to the left.

Careful.

- I'm gonna fall.

- Keep climbing.

You, get that light

out of my eyes!

All right,

a little to the left.

To the right!

There you go.

A little to the middle.

I don't know which

direction the middle is in.

- Can you see?

- Is it him?

Any news?

I'm dying down here.

Is it the Master?

It's him.

He's back!

It's the Master!

Blanky!

Master!

Blanky!

Was it him?

I'm just curious.

I hate being left

in the dark.

I guess we can assume

that it wasn't him.

Let's get back

to work.

Sorry for that

interruption, folks.

We return to our regularly

scheduled program...

at this time.

Whaa-haa-haa.

Cry, weep, wail and sob.

It's disgusting.

Every time!

Every single...

Give me that stupid picture.

No, no!

- I'll put it away.

- In the garbage!

- You can't!

- Wimp!

- Let go!

- He's not coming back anyway.

He might.

Fact is, there's not enough facts.

Fight breaks out in

peaceful mountain cottage...

shocking world and bringing

Geneva talks to a halt!

- Let me have it.

- You can't.

Oh, no.

Ha, ha, ha.

Ha, ha, ha.

What are you

laughing at?

Absolutely nothing,

nothing at all.

I think he was

laughing at us.

You know something?

You're a bright little lamp.

Oh, thanks.

Hey.

You guys have an attachment

for that kid, don't you?

Yes, he was

our master.

That's real nice.

Any day he might

come romping back...

just come whistling

back through that door...

and everything

will be the same...

real peachy keen.

- Uh-huh.

- It's a possibility.

Well, at least we

try to be optimistic.

Optimistic?

Somebody untie the knot

in this guy's cord.

Why don't you

just shut off?

I'm real scared, Kirby.

Are you going

to suck me to death?

- Hmph!

- What is it with you?

You act like you just came

off the assembly line.

Get this through

your chrome.

We've been dumped,

abandoned.

- But he loved us.

- That's right.

So what?

He has a family.

They move, he moves.

It's a package deal.

But...

He's not coming back,

pure and simple.

Did you talk to him?

They could drive up

any second.

You really think so?

I'm not talking to you.

You have a combined wattage

of five, maybe less.

It's been years.

It's scrap metal time.

Do what you like.

We're not gonna give up hope.

That's real touching.

You're gonna get me bawling

like a baby any time now.

I think

you're jealous.

Sure, I'm jealous of

a bunch of dimwits.

- Dim?

- Yeah!

The Master never

played with you.

Because you're

stuck in the wall!

So, it's back to that

stupid static again.

You think I don't know

what's going on in here?

I know what goes on

in this cottage.

It's a conspiracy...

and every one of you

low-watts is in on it.

Just because

you move around...

you think you're

better than I am.

I was designed

to stick in a wall!

I like being stuck

in this stupid wall!

I can't help it...

if the kid was too short

to reach my dials!

We didn't mean it,

really.

It's my function!

Don't.

Wait, wait!

- He's gonna blow!

- Yank the cord!

The fuse!

Poor Air Conditioner.

I didn't know

he'd take it so hard.

He was a jerk anyway.

Hey, what's that?

What is it?

A car.

Not another word

about cars.

You said it.

Sounds close.

Just don't even start.

Sounds real close.

Wah, hah, hah!

Stop it!

We're going out

to find him.

- What?

- What do you mean?

Exactly

what I said.

We're gonna go out

and find the Master.

To the city?

No matter what!

How would you propose we're

gonna do that, exactly?

I don't know.

Come off it.

Be serious.

I am serious.

You're insane.

If only we were wiener dogs,

our problems would be solved.

What?

Maybe it was

a basset hound.

You're all insane!

It was a news flash

I picked up about a dog.

In an amazing show

of loyalty and courage...

a terrier named Grover

traveled hundreds of miles...

to be reunited

with his owner.

The poor critter was

accidentally left behind...

on a fishing trip

three weeks ago.

He had to find his way

across rugged mountains...

and scorching deserts

in order to get home.

Little Grover turned out

to be one spunky pup.

If a dog can do it,

we can do it!

But a dog has legs.

Ah, don't be

a wet blanket.

- Legs would help.

- Brains wouldn't hurt either.

- Lay off.

- Pipe down, carpet breath.

I'm going,

with or without you.

I say we stay.

We'll have a new master

when someone buys the cottage.

But I don't want

a new master.

I want

our master.

Well...

what about the

rest of you?

You boys are gonna

need a leader.

Alone, you wouldn't last

for 5 minutes out there.

I used to be

a mountaineer.

Together...

we can stand against

the forces of nature!

Were you really

a mountaineer?

Sure, ask anybody.

Ask Teddy Roosevelt.

We shot moose together

on the Klondike.

You know,

I was thinking...

you guys will need

somebody bright along.

- Good idea.

- Listen to this.

World War II,

the Normandy Invasion...

and who dare but Lampy

to light the way?

You know...

I thought it would be good

to have somebody come along...

who's really... strong.

- And loud.

- And grumpy!

And oblivious

to reality.

Well?

I just know I'm going

to regret this.

- Yippee!

- Hot dog!

Wow, this is

our last fuse.

Good thing we're

getting out of here.

I've always

loved travel.

The open road,

the wind in my face...

the flies clogging

up my grille.

Yeah? How are

we going to travel?

We could all pile

on top of the bed...

and then Kirby

can push us!

No, no.

Hey, what about

the Master's pogo stick?

That's no good.

How about we're

in the refrigerator...

on a skateboard

and Kirby can pull?

No, no. Hey!

- Shut up.

- Shut up!

Let somebody else

try for a change.

Arise, Hassan.

Arise,

oh magic carpet.

We need a longer cord.

We need an alternate

power source, I say.

- I guess this is it.

- Uh-huh.

Blanket?

Huh?

Ready to go?

Yeah, I'm ready.

Okay, Kirby.

Hmm, shag carpet.

Look, Lampy.

From here you can see

the really big lamp.

Wow!

I wonder where

his switch is?

We are pioneers.

Whoa!

Can't see the road anymore.

Are we going in

the right direction?

I don't think so.

You boys need a navigator.

Navigator?

I'll tune in a radio

signal from the city.

I can take you right there,

lickety-split.

North by northwest.

Watch out for

low-flying aircraft.

- Ow.

- What's wrong?

He stepped on me.

- Did not.

- Did too.

Did too!

Did not!

Hey, come on.

How do you expect us to get

there if you're fighting?

You mean we're

not there yet?

No, not yet.

We got a long

way to go.

Oh, boy,

you're telling me.

# Life is like a journey #

# On the road that's within #

# Head says you should stay #

# But your heart says to begin #

# So you go #

# But you don't

want to go #

#Any life worth living #

# Isn't life just

filled with ease #

#You just stay forgiving #

#Through the forests

and the trees #

#And you'll go #

#Just where you want to go #

#Time flies by

in the city of light #

#Time stands still

in the country #

#There's no time

for a fuss and a fight #

#As we travel the land #

#And I'd

be satisfied #

#Just to be

not denied #

#To reside with some pride #

#While I ride to the city #

#The city of light #

# Light shines like a diamond

in the city at night #

#When that

diamond shines #

#You know that

everything's all right #

# But you know #

#We got a way to go #

#Let us meet the Master #

#We don't want

to make him wait #

#You just keep a-knocking

he will open up the gate #

#To that city of light #

# Master is a man

with a plan I can understand #

# Master is a man

of great reflection #

# Master is a man who lays

his hand across the land #

# Master is a man

of our affection #

#Time flies by

in the city of light #

#Time stands still

in the country #

#There's no time for

a fuss and a fight #

#As we travel the land #

#And I'd

be satisfied #

#Just to be

not denied #

#To reside

with some pride #

#While I ride

to the city #

#The city of light ##

Hey, everybody.

Look!

- A clearing!

- Great.

Spread out the blanket

and have a picnic.

I'm full of stickers.

My bag's full of

thistles and sticks...

and who knows

what else!

Whose idea was it

to come this way?

The lamp's.

Oh, yeah?

Who's supposed to be

the big shot navigator...

Mr. Loudmouth?

Mr. Big Loudmouth.

- Yeah.

- Where are we?

Give me a second and...

listen to this.

It's the top of the ninth,

the bases are loaded...

and Pee Wee Reese

is at the plate.

There's the pitch.

He connects.

Oh, and it's a triple play.

Knock it off!

We should all

settle down...

and try to get

some sleep.

This is my sleeping space.

Nobody crosses this line.

You better not wake us

up at 6:
00 as usual.

- Why are you complaining?

You didn't work today. - Yeah.

Go find your own place

to sleep, fuzz ball.

Watch it.

Are you blind?

It's a line.

Good night!

Come on,

I'm not the Master.

Go snuggle

somewhere else.

I'm trying to

get some sleep.

Go on.

Help!

Don't leave me.

Listen, listen.

What's that?

Over there!

Oh, look!

Light.

I see light!

Croak, croak!

Croak,

croak!

Croak, croak!

Croak,

croak!

Croak, croak!

Ribbit.

Ribbit.

That's the same

riff I used...

when I was drumming

for Cab Calloway.

Like this.

Cut that out!

# La, la-la-la-la-la, la #

# La, la-la-la-la-la, la #

Booga-booga.

Boodle-boodle.

Get out of here!

Hey fellas,

come look at this.

Whoa!

I'm trying to see.

Look at me!

Oh.

No, no.

It's just a reflection.

I'm not a flower.

Ribbit.

Come on, help me.

They're killing me.

Leave him alone!

Stop it.

Give me that.

He was chewing

on the Master.

Time to go.

Bye.

Are you sure this is the right direction?

As sure as I am honest.

Then we're definitely lost.

There might be lions

in there.

And tigers

and bears, oh my.

He's such a baby.

Waa-waa!

What's the matter,

Kirby?

Battery's running low.

We should

give it a rest.

Turn out that light.

Do we have

to stop here?

Only for a while.

Just long enough

to lose our minds.

We'll be cannibals

within a few days.

You'll be the first

to go, dial face.

Hey, fellas,

we can stay here.

Look.

What's the matter?

Eaten alive, the poor sap.

Wow, wow!

I thought you

were a goner.

You wish.

We are gonna need

some kind of shelter.

Shelter from the

likes of them.

Come here and say that,

chrome-dome.

- What?

- Oh, sorry.

I meant to say

"vacuous vacuum. "

Ladies and gentlemen,

let's get ready to rumble.

In the blue corner,

undefeated champion...

Rocko "The Radio" Ratuno.

Ding!

And there's the bell.

They're on each other

like black on a bowling ball.

Look.

That concludes

our broadcast day.

This is Lowell Winchell

signing off.

Good night, America,

and all the ships at sea.

Thanks.

That's all right.

So, what's this thing

with you and the blanket?

What thing?

All of a sudden you're

being so darn nice to him.

I was just thinking,

and I got this feeling...

that I should be nicer

to him for a change.

And now

I feel better.

- That's weird.

- What's weird about it?

You were never

this nice to him before...

and now you're nice

to him all the time.

I don't know.

I'm just trying to understand,

figure out what it means.

It's kinda

hard to describe.

It's like being next

to a new loaf of bread.

Hmm, let's see.

It's like a warm,

toasty feeling inside.

Like a glow.

- A glow?

- Yeah.

I think I know what

you're talking about.

It's like the feeling I get

when I think about the Master.

That's it.

I remember the first time

my bulb burned out.

I thought,

"That's it.

"It's over.

I'm burned out.

Eighty-sixed.

To the showers! "

But then the Master

put in a brand-new bulb.

And I just glowed.

That's all

there is to it.

That's very interesting.

Good night, slot head.

Good night.

Blah.

Ahh.

Run.

Aahh. Help me!

Help me!

Toaster!

Blanky!

- Blanky?

- Blanky!

Where are you?

- Blanky?

- Blanky!

- Blanket!

- Can you hear me?

The battery's

gone dead!

We're trapped

like rats...

small rats with

no hair and one light.

Blanky!

- Blanket!

- Blanky!

Where are you,

you little wimp?

Blanky!

Lampy!

Blanky?

Where are you?

Blan...

...keey?

Come on, Blanky,

speak up!

Just relax.

You've done enough.

We'll look for him.

I am feeling

burned out.

Listen.

Lamp was awarded

a Purple Heart...

for being wounded

in the line of duty.

Lamps across the nation

were switched off...

for a moment of silence

in respect for his bravery.

Help.

- Listen.

- Help me.

Toaster, Kirby,

I'm stuck.

- I hear him.

- But I can't see him.

Maybe he's calling

from blanket heaven.

He's a puffy yellow angel,

with a knob nose.

He's just stuck,

that's all. Look!

Help.

Hang on tight.

I am.

Don't let the tremendous height scare you.

Hey, watch out.

Come on.

I can't see.

Get off.

Watch out below!

That was

kind of fun.

Now get off

of my face!

- Thanks, Kirby.

- Great idea.

You saved me.

I knight thee

"Sir Vac. "

Cut it out.

I did it

so we could go.

We're wasting time.

What's this?

What's...

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Kirby, no!

Get the cord

out of his mouth!

Don't let him

swallow it.

Switch him off.

Just shorted right out.

Cracked up, snapped,

sold the farm.

- Poor chump.

- How's he look?

Better than you,

actually.

Keep it up, slots.

Carpet-sweeping motions.

He should

come around.

Hey, I think

it's working.

Kirby, can

you hear me?

Wake up.

Wake up!

- Kirby!

- You're all right.

Yeah!

Lay off.

Just lay off!

- What's the matter?

- We were worried.

You gave us

a scare, pal.

There's nothing wrong

with me, pal!

- Just back off!

- Don't be angry.

Keep your antennas,

knobs, and wires...

and rivets

off my chrome!

Who needs you?

Got to drag you

around all the time.

I'd be better off

without you.

But...

Especially you,

you little rag.

So how do we get across

this thing, anyway?

Houdini did this once.

He was out of the hospital

in no time.

That's encouraging.

Okay, Kirby.

Hey, we're not dead.

Yeah? Where's some wood

to knock on?

Toaster, you okay?

Toaster?

Yeah, I am.

Give me some slack.

Oh.

Wha...

Agh.

Aaahhhh!

Yeowwww!

Help! Help!

Damn thee,

thou cursed whale!

From the depths of hell

I stab at thee.

- Climb on, you idiot.

- Oh, it's you.

Where's Toaster?

He sank.

Are we glad

to see you!

I really thought I'd

turned in my warranty.

Yeah, until

baggy showed up.

I just slipped and

fell in, that's all.

- Ha, ha, ha.

- Sure!

You can't fool us.

We love you.

Like Mrs. Roosevelt

loved her husband.

Here's the shore.

Everybody off.

Listen to this!

This is President Roosevelt...

awarding the vacuum

the Medal of Honor.

Blah!

Ha, ha!

That's funny.

I'm dying.

Where are we?

I can't

believe this.

I'm really sorry.

Oh, come on.

It's not your fault.

Things could be worse,

you know.

- How?

- How what?

How could

they be worse?

They couldn't.

I lied.

Can't you find anything?

I'm lucky my backup

batteries work at all.

I hope we're not

going in circles.

Come on.

Aaah!

I knew I shouldn't

have let you guys drive.

Come on, pull!

Kirby!

This is great fun.

Let's make these outings

a regular thing, okay?

Inflate your bag!

Help me!

Aaah!

Wow, the poor guy

didn't have a chance.

Just ssss,

and that's it.

Don't look now, but you're

about to ssss yourself!

What? Whoa!

Blanky, let go.

Try to untie yourself.

I'm not scared.

Well, that concludes

our broadcast today.

Actually, it concludes...

all future broadcasting

of any sort.

We'll sign off now

with a suitable tune!

# Mammy #

# Mammy, Mammy

I'm coming #

# Oh I... #

# I hope I didn't

make you wait #

# Mammy

I'm coming #

# O, Lord ##

Ha, I thought

I heard a radio!

Whoa!

Hmmm.

# Do-dilly

yup-bup-bup #

Upsy-daisy!

Whoop!

There you go!

Good boy, Quadruped.

You remembered

your seat belt.

Ahh.

A customer!

Seems like a nice fella.

Dingy, but nice.

Heh-heh-heh!

Heh-heh-heh!

Mister St. Peters is

quite an amusing fellow...

isn't he?

Oh, you poor baby.

Your bulb

is burned out.

Here, you can have

one of mine.

Use it in good health...

while you still can.

Hello, compadre...

I am in deep need

of a blender motor.

Ha, ha!

A blender motor?

I got a whole shipment

ofblender motors in last week.

Heaven sent you to me.

I'll have it for you in

Now what did I do

with that blender?

I could've sworn I left

it here a second ago.

I'm getting as

loopy as a polecat...

without any whiskers.

There you are!

I found you.

Gotta move you guys

out of the way.

Ha, ha!

Whoa.

Boy, are you

some lucky guy!

This was the

last one left.

Heh-heh!

Heh-heh-heh!

You never quite know

what he's going to do.

He's so spontaneous.

W- w-well,

how do we escape?

Did you

hear that?

They want to know

how to escape!

Heh-heh-heh!

#Watch yourself

Don't fall off of the shelf #

#You must be

the new boys in town #

#What's that sound

Is someone moving 'round #

# Sit down for a spell

You don't look so well #

#Wait a minute

I feel great #

#You just leave

yourself to fate #

#You might as well

just hang around #

# It's too late

We've got to operate #

#Just try to relax

It's a house of wax #

# Oh, I remember

Frankenstein #

# Shivers up

my spine #

#Whoa-oh #

# I'm for getting

out of here #

# No need to shout

my dear #

# No-oh #

#Who will go

to the cellar down below #

#Trouble is a-bubbling

in the brew #

#While you're

down there #

# Mr. Vincent Price

will give you good advice #

# He'll know

what to do #

#You just

tell him boo #

# He will put the voodoo

in the stew, I'm telling you #

# It's like a movie #

#It's a B-movie show #

#It's like a movie #

# It's a B-movie show #

Look at me.

Barf, barf, barf!

I'm a can opener,

a lamp, and a shaver.

Oh, God,

I'm a mishmash!

#This is weird #

# It's much worse

than I feared #

# I'll close my eyes

and make it disappear #

- #This is strange #

- # It ain't home on the range #

#You just tell St. Pete

that you got cold feet #

#There goes the sun

Here comes the night #

# Somebody

turn on the light #

# Somebody tell me

that fate has been kind #

#You can't go out

You are out of your mind #

# It's like a movie #

#It's a B-movie show #

#It's like a movie #

#It's a B-movie show #

#Ah-ahh #

#Ah-ahh

ah-ahh #

#Ahhh ##

Excuse me,

the missus loved the blender motor.

Was wondering if you got

some radio tubes, too.

Sure.

I got a whole shipment of

radio tubes in this morning.

You gotta help me.

I'll do anything!

I can get you bread,

mounds of hot cross buns.

Pull yourself together!

Now what did I do

with that radio?

I could swear I left

it right here...

in this very,

very spot.

What did it do,

get up and walk away?

I really should

drink more coffee.

Aha!

There you are!

Ha, ha!

I got ya!

#Bo-bub-bup #

Kirby,

what should we do?

I don't know.

Hey!

I've got an idea!

A- hoo!

Whoa-oh-oh!

Aaah!

See? It worked!

I told you!

I told you!

I knew!

It worked!

Jailbreak!

Jailbreak!

Oh, ooh.

What?

Did I catch you

at a bad time?

Just wondering

if you got my radio tubes.

Wow!

Yee-hoo!

Honey...

are you taking

enough underwear?

Mom, you bought me enough underwear

to stock the whole dorm.

Do you have

enough socks?

I'm not going toJupiter,

I'm going to college.

- It's just college.

- So let me worry a little bit.

I'm your mother.

That's Chris.

We're going to the cabin...

and pick up the lamp

and radio and stuff.

I can use them

at the dorm.

Hi, Rob.

You ready?

Good-bye, Mom!

Take a sweater.

Hey, Plugsy.

- Yeah?

- Did you hear that?

He's taking some old...

stuff to the dorm...

instead of us.

All right, go!

You're gonna

like this cabin.

Too bad we

have to sell it.

How are we gonna find the Master...

in this big place?

Here it is.

Excuse me...

could you tell us

how to get to...

To, uh...

A113.

This is it.

Go ahead.

He's not home.

We'll have to wait.

Let's wait inside

and relax!

But it's locked.

Luckily, my war training

included inter-appliance codes.

I will simply render

the secret appliance knock...

and we'll be welcomed

by the native machinery.

Stand aside,

my meager companion.

Hiya, pal!

It's them!

What are

we gonna do?

Should we

let them in?

Shhh!

All right.

How do ya do?

Tarry not upon

our doorstep.

Please feel free

to enter, all of ya.

Boy, you were

some lucky kid.

Every summer for as

long as I can remember...

we'd be running

all over this place.

I looked her straight

into those big blue eyes.

It was you who

killed Johnson.

Parker found out

and you killed him.

Then you tried

to get me.

It's your turn,

sweetheart.

Now you're

taking the fall.

There was a shot!

A puff of smoke!

We ran like

the dickens!

- And that's how we got here.

- Wow!

Well, something like that.

And all on

your own, too.

How convenient.

I mean...

- Remarkable.

- Yeah.

Junkyard refugees...

- in this house.

- What's the world coming to?

I wouldn't sew a stitch

on that raggedy blanket.

If you could

call it a blanket.

- Looks like an old diaper.

- It smells.

- It's raggedy.

- Get that thing away from me.

- Did someone wash that thing?

- No.

Yuck.

I'm nauseous.

Oh, how do you do?

How do you do?

Hey, look at this!

Boy!

He sure has grown.

What a heartbreaker!

He graduated, too!

Of course!

He knows how to work hard.

He's all big now.

- I hope he still needs us.

- Still needs you?

That's the silliest thing

I ever heard!

If it isn't

old rabbit ears!

If it isn't

old loudmouth!

- Hi, TV!

- How ya doing?

I've got a few

more seasons left.

The cottage wasn't the same

after they took you away.

Yeah,

it wasn't as noisy.

I see you

haven't changed.

Kind of gives you

a sense of security.

Where's the Master?

No one told you?

Is he gonna be surprised

when he gets back!

He just left to

drive out to the...

- Hey!

- What's the idea?

Oh, many pardons.

Was you watching

that channel?

Come on in.

It's the greatest,

isn't it?

You guys sure did some weird

stuff with your furniture.

What happened?

This is... Gee!

Somebody trashed

the whole cottage!

You big dumbo.

Didn't you lock

the doors?

I don't believe

I've ever seen...

quite so many

smiles before.

I've never seen

contraptions with so many...

buttons and knobs

and dials before.

Naturally.

We are on the cutting edge

of technology.

- Wow.

- What does that mean?

I don't know.

What does that mean?

# Since you came here

uninvited #

#We all knew

you'd be delighted #

#This is not the time

or place to hedge #

# No one here

would be so bold to #

# But since you asked

and no one's told you #

# Let us take you

to the cutting edge #

# I can process words

accounting too #

#And my pixel screen

displays for you #

# Computer graphics

locked into your memory #

#With fiber optics

cast in plastic #

# For natural sights

and sounds fantastic #

#Just reach out and talk

to your dear old uncle Emery #

# More, more, more #

# Everything you wanted

and more #

# More, more, more #

# Let me tell you

what it's for #

# Here's the printout

with the score #

#Get yourself together

on the edge #

#Ooo-ahh-ooo #

#You want to go to old

Rio deJaneiro, my dear #

#You want tojoin in

any Club Paradise #

#You'd rather stay at home

where the picture is clear #

#You get it on the stereo and

you don't even have to go #

#More, more, more #

#Everything you wanted

and more #

#More, more, more #

#Any time

or place you wish #

#You might meet up

with some dish #

# Pull yourself together

on the edge #

# If you want a lean machine

to whip up some mean cuisine #

# I'm on the scene

totally automatic #

# I can bake your

biscuits too #

# Pop some dough boy

out for you #

# I'm micro solid-state

and that's no static #

#More, more, more #

# Everything you wanted

and more #

# More, more, more #

#We're the bytes

and chips to call #

#You just have

yourself a ball #

#It's all hyperactive

on the edge #

#From LEDs to CRTs, woofers

tweeters, antenna trees #

#An ultra-nylon

life of ease #

# Everything you dreamed of

on the edge ##

- And more!

- And more!

Where's the toaster?

Where's the vacuum?

Whoa!

What's going on?

Where's the radio,

the lamp and blanket?

Whoa!

I'm glad the Master

has such good appliances.

Yeah, couldn't get

any more modern.

They're wonderful.

Honey, take some of our things.

This lamp would look

so cute in your dorm room.

Go for it.

What are you

going to read by?

I'll buy

some candles.

I won't read.

I'll go out.

I'm not gonna

take your stuff.

I'll just pick up a few

cheap things this afternoon.

That's right,

ladies and gentlemen.

Appliances,

cheap appliances...

available now at

Ernie's Disposal.

Where's a good bargain

place around here?

You should have gone

for the new stuff.

Oh, were you

in line first?

After you,

of course!

Pardon me!

# I can't take this

kind of pressure #

# I must confess #

# One more dusty road #

#Would just be

a road too long #

#Worthless #

# I just can't

I just can't #

# I just can't seem

to get started #

# I don't have the heart

to live in the fast lane #

#All that is past

and gone #

#Worthless #

And there ain't nothing

you can do about it!

Pardon me

while I panic!

#Worthless

Worthless #

#Worthless #

No, that place

is too expensive.

Cheap!

We're talking

real cheap!

What about Rooney's

down on 53rd?

They've got used

vacuums and junk.

This just in.

Rooney's vacuums

found to be...

carcinogenic in

recent lab tests!

Big, big tumors

on those rats.

We've got photos

to prove it...

and I don't even

want to look at them.

# I come from

K.C., Missouri #

#And I got my kicks

on Route 66 #

# Every truck stop

from Butte to M.O. #

# Motown to old Alabama #

# From Texarkana

and east of Savannah #

# From Tampa

to old Kokomo #

#Worthless #

# I once ran

the Indy 500 #

# I must confess

I'm impressed how I did #

#And I wonder how close

that I came #

# Now I get

a second sensation #

# I was the top

of the line #

# Out of sight

out of mind #

# So much for

fortune and fame #

A bargain

in every buck!

A buck in

every pocket!

A pocket in,

uh, every trouser!

Ernie's Bargain Circus...

where you ride

the Ferris wheel of values...

toward a better tomorrow.

# Once took a Texan

to a wedding #

# He kept forgetting

his loneliness #

# Letting his thoughts

turn to home and return #

# I took a man

to a graveyard #

# I beg your pardon

It's quite hard enough #

#Just living with the stuff

I have learned #

#Worthless #

Let's go cruising and

see what we can find.

Why wander endlessly through

the sprawling wasteland...

they call the city...

when your dreams

are all under one roof?

Our roof,

corner of 3rd and E.

Crazy Ernie's

Amazing Emporium...

of total

bargain madness!

Ha-ha-ha!

Ha!

Have you ever heard

of this place before?

Looks pretty neat.

# Once drove

a surfer to sunset #

#There were bikinis

and buns filled with weenies #

# Fellini just

couldn't forget #

# Pico, let's go

up to Zuma #

#Pico, let's go

up to Zuma #

# From Zuma to Yuma

the rumor was #

# I had a hand

in the lay of the land #

# Get up and go

hit the highway #

# Ooo-ooo #

# I worked on

a reservation #

# Ooo-ooo #

#Who would believe

they would love me #

#And leave on a bus

back to old Santa Fe #

# Once in an

Indian nation #

# I took the kids

on the skids #

#With a Hopi was happy

to lie in the shade #

#You're worthless ##

This sure doesn't

look like...

Crazy Ernie's Amazing Emporium

of total bargain madness.

- It's the right address.

- Hmm.

Oh!

At least we'll

all go together.

That's looking at the

bright side, isn't it?

The Master's down there!

Look!

- It's him!

- What? Where?

Why look,

it is him!

Maybe he still

needs us!

Yeah!

Chris?

Hey, these are

hard to find.

This is me.

What?

I can't hear you.

I don't get it.

There he is.

I can't believe it.

Freeze.

Here he comes.

You jump off one side,

I'll jump off the other.

Okay, I got it.

Which side?

- Right side.

- Okay.

I'm glad we don't have

to do this every day.

Look!

Hey Rob,

come here.

What?

Doggone it!

- He's coming back.

- He'll see us this time.

Run!

This looks just

like my old blanket.

I think it is

my blanket.

That's my radio.

Hey, Chris!

And the lamp!

Hey, Chris!

Wait a minute!

These are mine.

Let go!

Whoa!

Let me down!

Aaah!

Chris! Help!

Where are you?

Rob?

Chris!

Aaah!

Whew!

Would you cool it?

Get down here.

You're scaring me

to death.

Really now.

Why don't you just

buy a new one?

Where could I find another

toaster like this?

Like that?

Probably nowhere.

Ah-ha!

Bye, Mom.

I love you.

I'll call you tonight.

You forgot your sweater!

We did good,

didn't we?

Yep, we did good.

You know,

I've been thinking.

This college business

seems like a good idea.

I can absorb a lot

of interesting facts.

I'm picking up a news flash!

President Roosevelt has declared

today a national holiday...

in honor of those five amazing

appliances we've heard about.

So lock up the office,

take down the top...

and open that

rumble seat!

Last one to Coney Island

is a party pooper.

From the starlight roof

high atop the Ritz...

we wish our intrepid

little friends...

the best of luck...

and a fond farewell!

Ah, you're all

a bunch of junk.

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