The Breakfast Club Page #16

BENDER:

Why'd you think it'd be easy?

BRIAN:

Have you seen some of the dopes that

take shop?

BENDER:

I take shop...you must be a f***in'

idiot!

BRIAN:

I'm a f***in' idiot because I can't

make a lamp?

BENDER:

No, you're a genius because you

can't make a lamp...

BRIAN:

What do you know about Trigonometry?

BENDER:

I could care less about

Trigonometry...

BRIAN:

Bender, did you know without

Trigonometry there'd be no

engineering?

BENDER:

Without lamps, there'd be no light!

CLAIRE:

Okay so neither one of you is any

better than the other one...

Allison feels left out.

ALLISON:

I can write with my toes! I can

also eat, brush my teeth...

CLAIRE:

With your feet?

ALLISON:

...play Heart & Soul on the piano.

BRIAN:

I can make spaghetti!

CLAIRE:

(to Andrew)

What can you do?

ANDREW:

I can...uh...tape all your buns

together...

BENDER:

I wanna see what Claire can do!

CLAIRE:

I can't do anything.

BENDER:

Now, everybody can do something...

CLAIRE:

There's one thing I can do, no

forget it, it's way too embarrassing.

BENDER:

You ever seen Wild Kingdom? I mean

that guy's been doing that show for

thirty years.

CLAIRE:

Okay, but you have to swear to God

you won't laugh...I can't believe

I'm actually doing this...

Claire takes lipstick out and opens it. She places it

between her breasts and applies it from her cleavage.

When she lifts her head, her lipstick is perfect.

Everyone claps. Bender's clap is sarcastic and slow.

ANDREW:

All right, great! Where'd you learn

to do that?

CLAIRE:

Camp, seventh grade...

BENDER:

That was great, Claire...my image of

you is totally blown...

ALLISON:

You're a sh*t! Don't do that to her

you swore to God you wouldn't laugh!

BENDER:

Am I laughing?

ANDREW:

You f***ing prick!

Bender turns to Andrew. As he speaks, we can see his

words hitting home.

BENDER:

What do you care what I think,

anyway? I don't even count, right?

I could disappear forever and it

wouldn't make any difference...I may

as well not even exist at this

school, remember?

(he turns to Claire)

And you...don't like me anyway!

CLAIRE:

You know, I have just as many

feelings as you do and it hurts

just as much when somebody steps

all over them!

BENDER:

God, you're so pathetic!

(furious)

Don't you ever...ever! Compare

yourself to me! Okay? You got

everything, and I got sh*t! F***in'

Rapunzel, right? School would

probably f***ing shut down if you

didn't show up! "Queenie isn't

here!" I like those earrings Claire.

CLAIRE:

(quietly)

Shut up...

BENDER:

Are those real diamonds, Claire?

CLAIRE:

(angry)

Shut up!

BENDER CLAIRE

I bet they are...did you

work, for the money Shut...

for those earrings? Your mouth!

BENDER:

Or did your daddy buy those?

CLAIRE:

(furious)

Shut up!

Claire starts crying.

BENDER:

I bet he bought those for you! I

bet those are a Christmas gift!

Right? You know what I got for

Christmas this year? It was a

banner f***in' year at the old

Bender family! I got a carton of

cigarettes. The old man grabbed me

and said "Hey! Smoke up Johnny!"

Okay, so go home'n cry to your

daddy, don't cry here, okay?

There are a few beats.

ANDREW:

My God, are we gonna be like our

parents?

CLAIRE:

Not me...ever...

ALLISON:

It's unavoidable, it just happens.

CLAIRE:

What happens?

ALLISON:

When you grow up, your heart dies.

BENDER:

Who cares?

Allison is on the verge of tears herself.

ALLISON:

I care...

BRIAN:

Um, I was just thinking, I mean. I

know it's kind of a weird time, but

I was just wondering, um, what is

gonna happen to us on Monday? When

we're all together again? I mean I

consider you guys my friends, I'm

not wrong, am I?

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