The Breakfast Club Page #2

BENDER:

Is this a test?

Vernon passes out paper and pencils and takes no notice

of Bender.

VERNON:

And when I say essay...I mean essay.

I do not mean a single word repeated

a thousand times. Is that clear Mr.

Bender?

Bender looks up.

BENDER:

Crystal...

VERNON:

Good. Maybe you'll learn a little

something about yourself. Maybe

you'll even--decide whether or not

you care to return.

Brian raises his hand and then stands.

BRIAN:

You know, I can answer that right

now sir...That'd be "No", no for me.

'cause...

VERNON:

Sit down Johnson...

BRIAN:

Thank you sir...

He sits.

VERNON:

My office...

Vernon points.

VERNON:

...is right across that hall. Any

monkey business is ill-advised...

He looks around at them.

VERNON:

...any questions?

BENDER:

Yeah...I got a question.

Vernon looks at him suspiciously.

BENDER:

Does Barry Manilow know you raid his

wardrobe?

VERNON:

I'll give you the answer to that

question, Mr. Bender, next Saturday.

Don't mess with the bull young man,

you'll get the horns.

Vernon leaves.

BENDER:

That man...is a brownie hound...

Everyone tries to get comfortable and we hear a loud

snapping sound. Brian turns and looks and it is

Allison, biting her nails.

Bender's eyes widen as he turns to look. Everyone is

looking now. Allison notices them looking at her.

BENDER:

You keep eating your hand and you're

not gonna be hungry for lunch...

Allison spits part of her nail at Bender.

BENDER:

I've seen you before, you know...

We see Vernon look out from his office.

We see Brian playing with his pen.

BRIAN:

(quietly to himself)

Who do I think I am? Who are you?

Who are you?

He attaches the pen to his bottom lip and puts the top

under his upper lip.

BRIAN:

I am a walrus...

Bender looks at him in utter confusion. Brian notices

this, laughs and takes the pen out of his mouth--

embarrassed.

Bender and Brian begin to take their jackets off at the

same time. They both notice this. Brian stops removing

his jacket.

Bender takes his all the way off. Brian rubs his hands

together and pretends to be cold. He pulls his jacket

back on. He turns and looks at Bender who is still

staring at him.

BRIAN:

It's the shits, huh?

Bender glares at him and Brian utters an uncomfortable

laugh.

Bender turns away and crumples up his essay paper. He

throws it at Claire. It misses and goes over Claire's

head.

Andrew and Claire acknowlege it but continue to ignore

Bender.

Bender starts loudly "singing" the musical part of a

song. “Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah...nah, nah, nah...”

CLAIRE:

(to herself)

I can't believe this is really

happening to me...

Bender stops "singing" abruptly.

BENDER:

Oh, sh*t! What're we s'posed to do

if we hafta take a piss?

CLAIRE:

(disgusted)

Please...

BENDER:

If you gotta go...

We hear Bender unzip his fly.

BENDER:

You gotta go!

Everyone is now looking at Bender.

CLAIRE:

(disgusted)

Oh my God!

ANDREW:

Hey, yer not urinating in here man!

BENDER:

Don't talk! Don't talk! It makes

it crawl back up!

ANDREW:

You whip it out and you're dead

before the first drop hits the

floor!

Bender gasps mockingly.

BENDER:

You're pretty sexy when you get

angry...grrr!

He turns to Brian.

BENDER:

Hey, homeboy...

Brian points at himself with his pen.

BENDER:

...why don't you go close that door.

We'll get the prom queen--

impregnated!

Claire turns and glares at him.

ANDREW:

Hey!

Bender ignores him.

ANDREW:

Hey!

BENDER:

What?

ANDREW:

If I lose my temper, you're totalled

man!

BENDER:

Totally?

ANDREW:

Totally!

CLAIRE:

(to Bender)

Why don't you just shut up! Nobody

here is interested!

ANDREW:

Really!

(to Claire about Bender)

Buttface!

BENDER:

Well hey Sporto! What'd you do to

get in here? Forget to wash your

jock?

BRIAN:

(nervous)

Uh, excuse me, fellas? I think we

should just write our papers...

ANDREW:

(to Bender)

Look, just because you live in here

doesn't give you the right to be a

pain in the ass...so knock it off!

Bender mockingly registers pain in his face.

BENDER:

It's a free country...

CLAIRE:

(to Andrew)

He's just doing it to get a rise out

of you! Just ignore him...

BENDER:

(to Claire)

Sweets...you couldn't ignore me if

you tried!

Rate this script:3.9 / 16 votes