The Broadway Melody

There it is, Herb.

One verse and two choruses.

- Is this a good song, Eddie?

- It's a good song, Herb.

- It's as good as the doll-dance number.

- All right.

Skip the verse, do the chorus, tempo.

Hot, eh?

- Good morning.

- Hello, Jimmy.

I've got the hottest song

you ever heard in your life.

- Is that so?

- Yes, that's so.

Got it? Have you got it?

Jimmy, if you can get this crowd

to keep quiet, I'll sing it for you.

- How about a little harmony?

- All right.

Listen, let's go through it.

One and two.

The second chorus,

a little jazz, a little pep.

Come on, I'll vamp until ready.

Let's go.

Go on, Herb.

- That's it.

- The chorus in F-sharp.

Hot dog!

Listen, kid, if we can get that number,

we're a cinch for the Palace.

- Hello, girls.

- Hello, Eddie.

Listen, Eddie, we'll take that song

and smack it over for you.

Sure!

Oh, no. Not this song, babies.

Zanfield's bought it for his new revue.

And the Mahoney Sisters are coming

from the West to put it over for me.

Listen, Eddie, you're not gonna waste

a swell number like that...

...on a smalltime sister act, are you?

Nix cracking, Rosie.

Half of that sister team is going to be

the future Mrs. Eddie Kearns.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute, Eddie.

If you wanna be made overnight,

just give us a crack at that number.

Oh, no. Oh, no.

No, no. Positively not.

I've gotta get back to the hotel.

The girls are waiting for me.

Oh, but listen,

if you want a song...

...see Georgie Cohan.

He writes good music too.

How about it, Jimmy?

Oh, I'll take that, thank you.

Gee, this is elegant, ain't it?

Tell you better when

I get a peek at the beds.

Quiet. I told you to pack

that cooking outfit in the trunk.

Yeah? Well, I'm taking no chances.

If we can't pay our bill and the hotel

holds the trunks, we still eat.

And, baby, when you don't eat,

you lose a lot of calories.

Calories? What are they?

Oh, acrobats, you big sap.

- Well, I never got fat on your cooking.

- No?

You never got that complexion

from the Greeks.

- Don't talk to me like...

- lxnay, ixnay.

- Leave us plenty of towels too.

- I did.

And I counted them.

How high can you count?

Well, everything's okay.

Will there be anything else?

Yeah, food.

I think he may stall for a tip. Get to the

window and give me the high sign.

Hank, I don't wanna do that.

Don't be such a cheapskate.

Screw.

Say, did they run out of everything

but dollar signs on this thing?

One coffee, one order of fried eggs.

There's two in an order, ain't they?

- Yep.

- And one order of rolls.

- Hank.

- Yes?

Come look at the elegant view.

Oh, that will be all, thank you.

Cup of coffee, order of rolls,

a couple of eggs.

It worked.

Oh, Queenie, New York.

The place we've dreamed

and talked about.

- Ain't it swell?

- Yeah.

But there's something about it

that scares me, Hank.

Scares you?

Well, there's nothing to be afraid of.

Well, it seems like we're taking

an awful chance.

We were getting along so well out west.

Plenty of work, small jumps,

a chance to save money.

And the act always went over big.

But here, nobody knows us.

Oh, I'm afraid.

Now don't lose your nerve, honey.

But we haven't got much money.

Oh, Hank, couldn't we go back,

just for one more year?

Back to those opera houses

and town halls?

Those cheap hotels

and their lobby comics?

Cooking our own food...

...washing our own clothes

and ironing them on mirrors.

Riding in those smelly day-coaches.

Going ragged all summer and then darn near

freezing in the winter. And why?

Just to save money enough

to get to New York and show our act.

Oh, honey.

With your looks and my ability...

I wouldn't steer you wrong.

Now don't worry.

You see that electric sign

of the fellow in BVDs?

- Yeah.

- Well, right there...

...they're gonna have

the Mahoney Sisters.

- In BVDs?

- Yes, in BVD...

Baby, they were plenty smart

when they made you beautiful.

Come on, let's get cleaned up

before Eddie gets here.

I'll run a tub for you.

The Mahoney Sisters in BVDs.

Hey, what are you singing?

The bubble song from Lux.

Will you join me?

No use of us both getting wet.

Will you wash mine?

I might as well. You never wash

anything but your neck.

I not only wash them.

I gotta pick them up.

Oh, Hank, I didn't think.

Oh, you never do.

Oh, don't strain yourself.

I'll get them.

Oh, boy, this is going to be good.

Oh, I'll go.

Can you imagine my embarrassment?

Uncle Jed!

Hello, honey. How are you?

- Fine, and you?

- Great.

- Gee, I'm glad to see you, Hank.

- Oh, Queenie, hurry up. It's Uncle Jed!

Uncle Jed?

I'll be right out.

What a break for you.

- I'll be with you in just a minute.

- All right, honey, but hurry.

What do you know, Uncle Jed?

I've got you booked for 30 weeks

over at the Manley Time.

Nothing doing.

We're in New York to stay.

Say, listen, girls...

...you know, I know this town better

than you do. And there are more sisters...

...doing their acts over the lunch counters

in New York than over the...

Than in the theaters.

You're just a crapehanger.

Maybe, but let me tell you...

...tell you, tell you, tell you...

What's the name of that record

you're playing?

Say, listen, girls...

Yeah?

Well, what is it?

I love both you girls,

and I want to see you get along.

Sure, Uncle Jed, we know that.

But we aren't leaving this town till we

get a flash at Babe Ruth and Grant's Tomb.

- Oh, will you get that, Uncle Jed?

- You bet.

Oh, girls, your break... Your break...

Your coffee's here.

Bring the toothbrush glass

when you come.

- All right.

- Will you have some coffee, Uncle Jed?

No, thanks. I just had my breakf...

I just ate.

- Yeah?

- Uncle Jed!

Queenie!

Gosh, what a big girl you are.

- And so beautiful.

- Ain't she, though?

Well, I suppose you've decided

to stay in New York.

Yeah, we're all set.

But thanks for the offer, Uncle Jed.

That's all right.

I'll keep it open for a few days.

- All right.

- Goodbye.

- Oh, goodbye, Uncle Jed.

- Lf you wanna see me, just call me up.

Yeah, all right.

You're in the phone book?

You bet.

I think we're making an awful mistake

not to take that work.

I know what I'm doing.

We stand as big a chance as anybody else.

What did the Duncans have

when they hit Times Square?

"My Patio."

Say, we've got more than the Duncans

ever had.

Well, the Duncans are pretty good too.

Say, what'd we do to them

on the Gus Sun Time?

We knocked them off their seats.

Come in.

- Eddie!

- Hank!

Oh, baby.

Let me have a good look at you.

- Gee, but it's good to see you.

- Oh, boy, is it good to see you! Oh, gee!

That's my Queenie!

- Queenie? You don't mean to tell me it's...

- Sure.

Queenie, all grown up and everything.

Ain't she? That sisterly kiss

won't be so hard to take now.

I'll say it won't.

- Take it big.

- I did.

You were a funny-looking thing

the first time I saw you...

...with those gangly legs and freckles.

But you certainly turned out to be

a beautiful girl.

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