The Burning Page #2

---

What the hell were you doing out there?

What were you trying to pull?

Come on, if you don't talk to me,

you're gonna be talking to the supervisor.

And I don't think you want that.

You know, I saved you

a lot of embarrassment out there

by not bawling you out

in front of the other kids.

I think you owe me something for that.

Start talking.

I only wanted to scare her.

You think she's gonna understand that?

Or the supervisor? Or Glazer?

What about Glazer?

Look, it's not just Glazer. It's everybody.

I mean, they're all always picking on me.

I don't have any friends.

I didn't want to come to this camp

to begin with, you know.

It's like the army. I mean,

someone's always telling me

what to do all the time.

It's the same thing every year.

I sort of know what you're going through.

Five years ago,

when I was in summer camp,

I didn't just get bawled out

by the counselor. I got sent home.

- You did?

- Yeah.

You don't have to take on

this whole camp by yourself.

If you've got a problem,

if you want someone to talk to, I'm here.

Okay?

Okay.

I'd have socked him right in the eye.

He's real spooky, that Alfred.

- Imagine, creeping around the shower.

- I'm sure he didn't really mean it.

He said he just wanted to scare you,

to get back at Glazer.

That's great, isn't it?

He wants to get back at Glazer,

so he scares the sh*t out of Sally?

Let's forget about it?

We have the canoe trip

to look forward to.

Yeah, Sally, just think.

Three nights alone with Alfred.

Hey, you gonna make it

with Glazer, Sally?

Cool it, Marnie.

- Imagine doing it with Glazer.

- Doing what?

The weight of all those muscles on you.

I'd take Alfred any day.

Lay off, will you?

Why's everyone so down on Glazer?

Look out where you're going, punk.

You know, I ought to break your legs?

And twist your head off.

Now, I'm gonna tell you just one time.

You stay away from my girl.

You understand that?

What are you staring at,

you little f***ing weirdo?

Look, I'm warning you.

If I even catch you looking at her,

I'm gonna tear you up so bad,

your own mother won't recognize you.

- You dig?

- Glazer!

- What's your problem?

- Oh, no problem, Todd. No problem.

All right, get out of here, you understand?

And remember, it's a long summer.

Little jerk gives me the creeps.

And when was the last time you won

a personality contest, Glazer?

Hey, what's the matter, Todd?

You ought to ease up on me, man.

You're coming down on the wrong guy.

He's the one that was caught

looking at the girls in the shower.

You ought to be coming down

hard on him.

- You know what your problem is?

- No, man, what's my problem?

- You can't take anyone your own size.

- Oh, yeah? Well, that's bullshit.

Yeah, well, let me tell you something.

You cause any problems

for any kid on this camp,

and I'm gonna bust your ass.

Come on, Alfred. You gotta do

the swimming thing, all right?

Because if you go in tomorrow,

I can't go in after you.

I don't think this will work out.

Don't wuss out on us. Just...

Fish, listen to Fish.

- He's been in, right?

- Look, it's beautiful water.

There's no problem

in swimming or diving.

- I mean, your head's the main thing.

- Head's the main thing.

- It's the heaviest part of your body.

- Right.

So, wherever your head goes,

your body's gotta follow. Right?

And you'll be in big trouble if it doesn't.

- Dave, Dave, look.

- Hi, girls.

- Hey, girls!

- Hey!

Hi, guys.

Give him a little encouragement.

Look, it's no problem.

- Just watch Fish.

- Watch me.

Esther Williams, look at that.

- And we know Flipper!

- Go, go!

- You see how easy that is?

- I hate swimming.

Not much you do like? Drown.

Follow me, Alfred, all right?

Are you crazy? He can't swim.

Yeah, I'm crazy, and you better save him

if you don't want him to drown.

Help!

Hey, Sally? I'm coming to get you, babe.

- Are you okay, man?

- Hey, want me to fix Glazer for you, man?

- Get him up.

- Come on, get him up. Get him up.

Come on, bring him up.

Lie down, on your back. On your back, Al.

You all right? You breathing?

You breathing? That a boy.

You all right? Speak to me.

Come on, speak to me, Al.

That's it, don't cough. Speak. Words.

- I'm okay.

- All right. All right.

Hi, girls!

You look like a bunch of mermaids

up here. You know that?

- Don't worry. He'll get his.

- Yeah? I gotta tell you.

Fifty bucks buys you the top torpedo

in town.

- Who's that? Woodstock?

- Sure.

Oh, come on. Woodstock couldn't knock

over an umbrella stand.

- Got the pea-shooter with you, Woody?

- Yeah, I sure do.

Right there.

- Hi, Sally. Hi, pretty girl.

- Hi.

Hey, Sal, you wanna go

for a swim with me?

No way.

- What's the matter?

- I don't wanna get my hair wet.

All right, guys, I got him in my range.

Hey, Dave.

Are sure you want me

to go through with this?

Alfred. This is about to be

the greatest moment in your life.

There will be four commands:

Ready, aim, fire and run.

Glazer's gonna go crazy. Sh*t!

Ready. Aim. Pork him!

Sh*t, what the hell was that?

You think that's funny?

Woodstock, I think you got him.

You aren't gonna think it's so funny

when I get my hands on you.

And Woodstock, you're a dead boy,

you hear me?

Sorry, Glazer.

You won't think that's so funny

when I get my hands on you.

You're a dead boy...

- How many?

- Give me three.

- All right.

- I'll take three.

All right.

- Howdy do, boys? What are you doing?

- Hey, how you doing?

He's under, he's up, he's in there.

All right.

- Who ordered the Playboy?

- Over here.

Dave, did you get my Hustler?

Hustler? What do you want

with Hustler, Woodstock?

- You're too small.

- Hey, size never stopped Woody.

That's the world bantam-weight

jerk-off champ over there?

Just stick with me, kid.

Keep flexing the muscle?

God bless her mom and dad.

You guys are a real bunch of wimps.

You know that?

Looking at girlie magazines.

You guys make me sick.

You ought to try the real thing

sometimes, man.

Let me tell you that.

We make you sick, do we, Glazer?

Well, then, you won't mind paying a

new market price for a bag of rubbers.

Five bucks.

- I'll pay. Get me what I asked for?

- Absolutely, absolutely.

Absolutely? Absolutely sh*t, man.

Look, I asked for lubricated rubbers.

These aren't lubricated rubbers,

you understand that?

What am I? Masters & Johnson?

You want lubes, buy your own.

All right, I'll buy my own.

And let me tell you something, pal.

- I ain't paying for these. You got that?

- I got that.

- What's up, man?

- My God!

- What are you looking at?

- At the window, there.

There, there, at the window.

- Take it easy, man. What's going on?

- It was a face.

A horrible face at the window.

Yeah, forget it, girls.

I saw it. It was there.

Well, there sure as hell

ain't nothing out there now.

What's that? Who's in there?

Hey, you wanna know something, man?

You're weird.

That's your f***ing problem, man.

You're a weirdo, man.

Hey, what's keeping you guys?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes