The Butler Page #2

---

I know I was quite surprised

when I got the call.

It was a surprise

for me, as well.

As the White House matre d',

I normally hire the butler.

Forgive me for saying this,

Mr. Fallows.

I certainly wouldn't want to

be hired under circumstances

that would make you

feel uncomfortable.

Oh, really?

You need butlers

that you've handpicked,

men to your liking

that will fulfill your vision

of a proper White House staff.

Hmm.

Is that... Louis XIII?

These decanters are replicas

of metal flasks that were found

on the battlefield in Jarnac.

Correct?

The Italians, they

know their wines,

and the Irish, they certainly know

how to make a great whiskey.

But I believe the French

have a distinct advantage

when it comes to Cognac.

C'est vrai?

Yeah, you'll make

a good house n*gger.

Would you care

for a demitasse?

Sometimes it just be

me and Faye up in here.

Me, Faye

and a little scotch.

Have a good time.

That's how you do it.

You know how to throw

a bash, girl.

What did you do

to this potato salad?

I'll tell you what I did.

I put some dill in it,

because I read in Woman's Day,

where pickles drown out the flavor

and dill bring up the flavor.

- That's what you tasting right now.

- OK. Yeah.

- I like it.

- Make a difference, don't it?

It really does.

Girl, you must be so proud of Cecil.

You know he got that job hisself.

The White House called him,

- he didn't call the White House.

- He's a good man.

- You got a good man.

- She's fun, man!

Not like this one right here.

Ol' sourpuss.

- You still mad at me?

- I got reason.

No, you don't. I told you,

I went down to the numbers spot,

played my little numbers,

got me some barbecue,

and then I went down...

I didn't even get nothing to drink!

I am so... I'm so sick of these

numbers spot stories, Howard.

How you expect me to believe you

was down at the numbers spot?

Whether you believe it

or not don't mean it ain't true.

- Come on, stop this mess.

- You want to do this right now?

Come on, y'all.

Come on, come on, come on.

You don't believe it, you don't

have to believe it, but...

- Come on, y'all.

- Such a shuckster.

- You really want to do this right now?

- Stop this right now.

You need to pick on

somebody your own size.

We are here to celebrate,

so y'all could be nice just one time.

You heard the lady.

Come on, get over here, let's celebrate!

Celebrate.

That's why I was out,

trying to make you happy.

- Y'all need to get a room.

- What? What?

Ain't that the truth?

Or something.

He drives me crazy. He just... Ugh!

You ain't, uh...

You want to come to the room with us?

No.

- Hey, where the boys at?

- They upstairs in the back room.

Boys! Get on down here!

I need to see your face now!

- What y'all doing up there?

- Yes, congratulations.

Honey, when you gonna take me

to the White House?

You want to go

to the White House, baby?

You know I want to go

to the White House.

When you want to go?

- Don't play with me now...

- When you want to go?

The White House,

now that's a big step up.

- Ooh!

- Yeah, it's exciting.

Girl, you up in that house now!

I want to hear all the stories.

I don't know how many stories

you gonna hear,

'cause they done swore him

to some kind of secret code,

- and he can't tell me nothing.

- No. Girl, you give it to him right.

- Mm-hm! He'll tell you everything.

- That's the key right there.

You listening?

- Did you hear her?

- Who you been giving it to?

Well, if you was at home,

I could be giving it to you.

I don't know

what you talking about.

Boys, y'all better bring

y'all little narrow butts down here!

- Here they come.

- Called y'all 19 times.

Boys, stop running through this house.

You know better than that.

Elroy! Get over here.

Come here.

Give me some money.

Nah. Tell them... Tell them what

you gonna be when you grow up.

I want to work at the White

House just like Mr. Gaines.

- Ah, that's my boy.

- Right there.

All right, man.

Louis! What you gonna be

when you grow up?

You gonna work at

the White House like your daddy?

- I don't know.

- I'll tell you one thing.

I knew exactly what I wanted

to be when I was 13.

Yeah, a number runner.

I'm Cecil Gaines.

I'm the new butler.

Yes, sir.

There are 16 full-time maids.

We have six butlers,

four carpenters, two painters,

seven electricians,

three dishwashers, three doormen,

a full kitchen staff, including pastry

chef and three full-time calligraphers.

Two painters, seven

electricians, nine engineers...

Here comes Warner.

Uh, Mr. Warner, wanted to thank you

for the opportunity

to work in the White House...

Come on. Here we go.

Ma'am, I'm Cecil Gaines.

I'll be working with you here.

Mr. Gaines,

please don't do that.

- Come on.

- Yes, sir.

Now, when lifting a plate,

never scrape the bottom.

Never listen

or react to conversation.

- The room should feel as...

- Empty when I'm in it.

So then she says...

Then she says, "Stick... "

"OK."

Then she starts

screaming and yells,

"Stick your whole hand in!"

So I put my whole hand in.

Then she yells out,

"Put both hands in!"

"OK!"

Then she screams,

"Now clap!"

I say, "I can't. "

She looks up, smiles and says,

"See, I told you my... "

That ain't funny.

Hey, there he is!

Heard you were coming.

- What's your name?

- Cecil.

- Cecil Gaines.

- That ain't funny.

I'm Carter Wilson, head butler.

Don't worry about Big Mo behind you.

That brother will steal your wallet

before you even knew it.

This brother in the mirror over here,

his name's James Holloway.

- He's my second in command.

- James.

Jackie Robinson or Willie Mays?

Why don't you shake

the man's hand first

before you start asking difficult

questions like that?

I just want to know

where the man's coming from.

Look like the jury's still

out on that one, right?

Welcome.

Fancy Freddie give you the tour yet?

He did.

Is the Dodgers still... still losing?

I might be able to answer that question

if Carter over here

stop running his nasty mouth.

Cut the sh*t

and let's get to work.

- Ready.

- Lord, help us.

Don't be nervous, man.

Just go on and get to it.

You hear nothing,

you see nothing.

You only serve.

Send federal troops to Little Rock?

If it comes to it, yes.

I can't see any situation where

I'd send federal troops to the South.

Ever. Could cause another Civil War.

Sir, if the federal government

doesn't enforce Brown, then who will?

The South must comply with the law.

It's just gonna take some time

to adjust, that's all.

I understand, Mr. President,

but if Faubus continues to block the

Negro children, then what do we do?

We must enforce

the Constitution.

Give Faubus more time.

With a little persuading,

he'll back down.

We just want to move slowly.

- How'd it go?

- I almost sh*t myself.

I dated a girl once. Every time

I hit her, she sh*t herself.

- What?

- Got no sense.

- Shut up.

- You shut up.

I put a towel down.

You know, Marcella said

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes