The Caddy
- APPROVED
- Year:
- 1953
- 95 min
- 143 Views
- Hi.
- Hello.
- Who'd you come to see?
- You!
Oh, that's swell.
- What do you people want?
- Pictures!
- Do we have any pictures?
- Well, why don't one of us go see?
Okay, I'll be back in a week.
No, he'll be right back.
He'll be right back.
Here. Look, Joe. You all ready?
All right, now get set.
There they go.
Here they...
I'm all right. I'm all right.
Go get them!
- Goodbye.
- What a town!
Boy, you'd think we had made
the first flight to the moon and back.
the crowds get bigger.
Yeah, remember
when I used to be scared of crowds?
- Yeah.
- No more. I like them.
- They're only people.
- That's nice.
Hark! Someone's knocking at the door.
- All righty.
- Oh, hi, Eddie.
- Well, hello, Eddie.
What's happened to you?
It took three cops and a squad of ushers
to get us into the theater.
Boys, I'd like you to meet Miss Lorelei.
- How do you do?
- Hello, Miss Lorelei.
How do you do?
Oh, that's our boy, the biggest agent
in town and the easiest laugher.
Here, watch this.
Miss Lorelei,
I want you to meet my mom and pop.
- How do you do?
- I'd like you to meet my mom and pop.
They ain't here.
Miss Lorelei's doing a story
for the American Weekly.
You boys seem to have more fun
than the customers.
Oh, we do.
Isn't it wonderful
- The food is ready.
- Oh, can I fix you a sandwich?
- No, I'll just take some notes.
- That's not very nourishing.
Here, why don't you try
some of this terrific corned beef
- and salami and...
- Now, about my story...
Oh, yes, well, sit right down here,
and we'll find out
just how everything came about.
Now, how long have you been
in the business?
- About 12 years.
- 12 years. And where were you born?
- Scranton.
- Scranton?
Oh, that is a coincidence.
- Were you boys born in Scranton?
- No.
Is this your first engagement
at the Paramount?
- Oh, I don't work here.
- Then what are you doing here?
I came to get an interview from you.
We're almost on, dear.
- Now, what would you like to know?
- Hey, fellows, two minutes.
Two minutes?
What happened to the time?
You and Pop, you want to go
in the wings and watch the show?
Did you leave the props on the piano
in the last show?
- Come on.
- I got the horns, Joe.
- What else do we have, we...
- We don't use the horns this show.
- Oh, well, hold these, Mama.
- Come on, Miss Lorelei, with us.
But I want to know
how you boys got together.
- Well, what about it?
- Well, what do you expect to do next?
Oh, we're going to play
some more theaters
and keep working, that's all.
- Come on. Jump, jump, jump!
- Come on.
This way. Come on through here.
Jump. Come on. Don't be...
- We gotta go on. Jump!
- Right.
- Come on, jump off. Come on!
- That's a good girl.
- Oh, you fraidy cat.
- No, no.
What are you afraid of? Well, we're on!
- You enter from that side.
- And you enter from that side.
- And are you ready, Mr. Anthony?
- I sure am, Mr. Miller.
- Here we go.
- Right-o.
So here he is, Harvey Miller.
Hello.
Come on, step to the rear of the bus.
We're coming into 34th Street.
I'd like to say
how very happy and thrilled we are,
ladies and gentlemen,
to be appearing here
at the Paramount Theater,
and how nice it is
to see all you nice people.
I could stay out here for hours,
is getting old.
So I would like to introduce my buddy,
pal and partner, Mr. Joe Anthony.
Here he is.
Don't you want me to sing a song?
Oh, yeah, but I thought you and I
could do a song together both.
- Together both?
- Yeah, wouldn't that be splendid?
Yeah, that would be peachy.
- Oh, shall we do one?
- Yes.
Oh, thank you, Great White Father.
What would you do, boy
when I'm gone
I'd sell my car and hock my ring
And go right out and hire Bing
That's what I'd do without you
That's what I'd do
But tell me
What would you do, boy
when I'm gone
I'd have no trouble replacing you
I'd just go down to the nearest zoo
Oh, that's what I'd do without you
That's what I'd do
We will be
- Just like brothers, you and I
- Just like brothers, you and I
- I'm for you
- I'm for me
- And I'll love you till I die
- And I'll love you till I die
Oh, what would you do without me
What would you do, boy
when I'm gone
When my bankroll's gone
and I need some dough
You're always telling me where to go
See? What would you do without me
What would you do
We will be just like brothers, you and I
- I'll go east
- I'll go west
- And I'll love you till I die
- And I'll love you till I die
Oh, what would you do without me
What would you do, boy
when I'm gone
I've been your stooge
and been your clown
Who picks you up when you are down
- Who has $10 and gives you $9
- Who sticks by you come rain or shine
- Who's always taking it on the chin
- Who's always there, lose or win
Who's always been a regular guy
- I'll love you till I die
- I'll love you till I die
Oh, what would you do without me
What would you do
Then it must be Mr. Miller's family
has the theatrical background?
No, no, but you ask me, I tell you.
When Harvey is younger,
his papa is number one golf champion
in the whole country.
One day it was the final match,
Father and Son Tournament.
Harvey Miller, Sr., wanted his son to be
great golf champion, too,
and follow in his footprints. Capisce?
I'll do my best, Dad.
- I'm sorry, Dad. I missed the cup.
- That was a great drive, Harvey.
Thank you.
Remember, they're only people.
What's the matter with you? Hit it.
- Those people are staring at me, Dad.
- Don't look at them. Look at the ball.
- Look at the ball?
- Yes.
- Now, what's the matter?
- It looked back.
Now, Harvey, hit that ball.
Hit it! Hit it!
Hit it! Hit it!
Hit it! Hit it!
Hit it! Hit it! Hit it!
Hit it! Hit it! Hit it!
Now what about your son, Mr. Anthony?
Well, I feel like Harvey's papa.
I want Joe to follow in my footprints.
Jump in, Joe. We're gonna cast off.
Pop, I don't want to fish anymore.
I get seasick.
You crazy.
Your grandpapa don't get seasick,
your papa don't get seasick,
you don't get seasick.
I don't feel so good already.
But, Joe, we don't leave the dock yet.
Here, you eat something.
- You'll feel better.
- Oh, Pop.
You may be the sickest fisherman
in the ocean,
but you're gonna be a fisherman.
Look, Pop,
you can't treat me like a kid any longer.
I'm grown up.
From now on,
I'm gonna stand on my own two feet.
But on dry land!
- Joe! Joe! You come back here!
- Joe, Joe.
Four years later, Joe is a big boy,
but his sea legs no good.
Four years later, Joe is a big boy,
but his sea legs no good.
He wanna try his land legs.
So he leave home
to take all kind of job.
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"The Caddy" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 5 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_caddy_19876>.
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