The Chocolate War Page #5

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like it was our baby or something.

And second, because like Bollo said,

we let a punk freshman make fools of us.

Right, Archie?

Show them what you found this morning, Obie.

I spotted it because I was late for math.

It was on the bulletin board

in the main corridor.

Now, I went by a minute before,

and it wasn't there.

So chances are hardly anybody saw it.

You're the brain, Arch.

You got us into this mess.

Where do we go from here?

Everybody's panicking for nothing.

First of all, you can't go around the school

beating up half the kids.

The Brothers would shut us down in a minute.

That's why I stay away

from the strong-arm stuff.

Although, I will admit you did

a beautiful job on Bollo back there.

And it was coming to him.

But Bollo is a troublemaker.

And he can lie out there in his vomit

till hell freezes over.

Nobody's gonna care 'cause he's an exception.

Bollo's an example.

Let the word spread about Bollo,

and we won't have to worry

about other kids screwing with us.

But that doesn't sell chocolates.

You say the Vigils are linked with the sale?

Well, then, let's get

the goddamn sale over with.

Let's sell the chocolates.

Because if Renault is becoming

some kind of rebel hero

because he's not selling,

how the hell is he gonna look

when everybody is selling, except him?

Yeah, how you gonna get everybody

to start selling them?

Simple.

Like all great plans,

it has the beauty of simplicity.

We make selling chocolates popular.

We make it cool to sell the things.

We spread the word. We organize.

We get the student officers.

We get the homeroom officers.

We get the members of the student council.

All the kids with influence.

Do or die for Trinity. Everybody sells.

Not everybody's gonna

wanna sell 50 boxes, Archie.

But they will, Obie. No, no, no, they will.

We are going to make selling chocolates

the thing to do.

The school will love us for it.

The Vigils will be able to write their

own ticket with the Brothers and Leon.

Why do you think I told Leon

that we'd do this in the first place?

What about Renault?

Don't worry about Renault.

I worry about him, Arch.

I worry about him!

Let me put it like this.

At the end of the sale, Renault will be

wishing with all of his heart

that he had sold the chocolates,

and the school will be glad that he didn't.

Okay, Arch.

Okay.

But if this backfires, if this

chocolate sale fails, then you're through.

You're all done.

It's not gonna take a black box, either.

As far as I'm concerned, you're on

probation till the last chocolate is sold.

That makes 15,000 boxes sold.

You know... Of course you know.

That's only five more to go, huh?

All right, now, this report says

that Gregory Bailey, yesterday,

sold 15 boxes.

That brings his total to 43.

- Well, actually...

- That is wonderful. Well done.

All right. Crane, Devlin, Farley,

have reached their quotas.

Goubert?

- None.

- Come on.

Come on, Goubert,

you've been stuck at 27 for a week.

It's time to get a move on.

Franklin, 42.

Gilder, 48.

Goubert, 50.

- All right.

- Goober.

Way to go, Goob.

Horton, 38.

Janza, 63.

What's your hurry, kid?

I asked you a question.

- Yeah, I know.

- Well, what was it?

- What?

- The question I asked you.

You wanted to know what my hurry was.

You know what?

You look like a little wise guy.

What makes you think I'm a wise guy?

Because you put on a big act.

You try to get by with the sincerity act.

But you ain't kidding me.

You live in the closet.

What do you mean, 'closet'?

That's what I mean by 'closet.'

That you're hiding in there.

- Hiding what, from who?

- From everybody.

From yourself even.

Hiding that deep, dark secret.

- What secret?

- That you're a fag.

You're a fairy, living in a closet,

hiding away.

Oh, look, the fairy's blushing.

Are you blushing?

- Listen...

- No, you listen!

Now, you're polluting Trinity.

You won't sell the chocolates

like everybody else.

And now we find out that you're a fairy.

You're really something, you know that?

Trinity has ways of weeding the homos out.

But you were smart enough to get by,

weren't you?

You must be creaming all over

your little f*ggot self

with 400 ripe, young bodies to rub up against.

I'm not a fairy.

I bet that's what killed your mommy,

isn't it?

Finding out her little baby was a f*ggot.

You son of a b*tch.

- What'd you call me?

- A son of a b*tch.

Hello?

I'm still here.

Yeah.

Janza,

can't you do anything right?

What are you talking about?

I mean, the kids.

I didn't tell you to make it a gangbang.

That?

It was like a stroke of genius, Archie.

I mean, you know, letting him get beat up

by a bunch of little kids.

Psychology.

Isn't that what you're always talking about?

Who were they?

I don't want outsiders involved.

Just some animals from my neighborhood.

Did you use the queer pitch on him?

You called it perfect.

I mean, it really got to him.

He isn 't queer, is he?

Of course not. Don't be stupid.

So, what's next?

You just relax for now.

I wanna keep you in reserve.

I was just starting to enjoy myself.

You'll have other chances.

Hey, Archie?

Yeah?

How about the picture?

Suppose I told you that

I didn't have any film in the camera, Emile.

That there was no picture.

I don 't know.

Hey, kid,

stick with me and you won't go wrong.

We need men like you.

Hey, you can count on me, Archie.

I know, Emile.

I know.

You're missing a lot of things, Jerry.

Only God is perfect, Jerry.

Do you compare yourself to God?

Mrs. Hunter left a casserole.

It's God's will.

Boy, Renault, you got guts,

you know that?

I'm quitting the team, Jerry.

I was crying like a baby.

It's your mother, Jerry.

She's proud of you.

Hey, Conrad, what's up?

- It's all over, Brother Leon.

- It's over?

The sale. Finished. Done with.

- Are you sure?

- Positive.

Let's check the figures.

There's just one thing.

Yes?

- It's the freshman, Renault.

- Yes? What about him?

Well, he still hasn't sold his chocolates,

and it's weird.

Really weird.

What is so weird about it, Cochran?

The boy is obviously disturbed.

He tried in his pathetic way

to disrupt the sale

and he succeeded in doing just the opposite.

- You see, the school rallied against him.

- But it's still weird, sir.

Oh, my God.

The sales come to exactly 19,950 boxes.

Now, that's impossible.

Some boxes always get lost or stolen.

It's impossible to ever account

for every single box.

Well, this comes out right on the dot,

with exactly 50 boxes missing.

Renault's 50.

- You got the 50 boxes set aside?

- Got them.

Beautiful.

What's it all about?

We're having an assembly, Obie.

Tomorrow night.

A special assembly at the athletic field

to report on the sale.

At the field? Why not in the school?

Because this assembly is

strictly for the students.

No Brothers are invited.

But everybody else will be there.

- Everybody?

- Everybody.

Renault?

Especially Renault.

You're something else, Archie.

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