The Commuter Page #2

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-I gotta go pick up my kid.

Don't you have

a train to catch?

-Yes. Jim, what's the damage?

-No, no, no, I got it.

Promise me that when you

get home, you'll tell Karen.

What, that you finally

paid for something?

What's the old Irish saying?

If you wanna know

what God thinks about money,

look at who he gives it to.

Look at who

he gives it to. Yeah.

I'll catch you.

Jim, I'll catch you.

Boarding call for the 6:25

Hudson North

to Poughkeepsie. Six...

Excuse me. Thank you.

Sir, can I see

your bag, please?

Ma'am, this way, please.

Can you believe this?

They're doing bag checks

at goddamn rush hour.

Step forward, ma'am. Sir.

If something's ticking,

let it through.

Forward, sir. Open up.

I can't do it.

Hey, Mike, you wanna do me

a quick deal on some insurance

before I have

a friggin' heart attack here?

Sir, your bag, please.

Thank you.

Suspicious or

unattended package, please...

Hey,

watch where you're going.

Safety

is everyone's responsibility.

If you see something,

say something.

I want to.

Stand clear.

My phone.

Sh*t.

Look, man,

I'm already on the train.

If it's gonna happen at all,

it's gonna happen tonight.

No more excuses.

-Hey, Walt.

-You get me a name?

What?

Well, that woman's

staring at you

like she knows

something we don't.

I don't see anybody.

Everything all right?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tried in the next car?

No, I've gotta take a leak.

My prostate's bigger

than your head.

Look, Manny, I'm telling you,

the lines are fine,

but there's no power.

Have 'em fix it

when we get in, okay?

-Copy that.

-What if I try this?

-Jesus, Jimmy. Come on.

-Hey, I did nothing.

Hey, Tarrytown.

AC's out in this coach.

Get a seat up front

while you can.

-You look worn out, Sam.

-Yeah. 32 years.

If the train don't kill me,

the people will.

-Tell me about it.

-Yeah.

-Do it for me.

-Stop it. I don't want...

-Take the bag.

-Let... Stop it. Get off.

Now, that's exactly why

I never got married.

Just... God.

JP Morgan and Chase

all over it. Open your eyes.

I told you to buy low,

didn't I? What?

Are you serious?

I said, are you serious?

This is a Gieves

& Hawkes suit.

Does that mean

anything to you?

Of course it doesn't.

Yeah. If he's a piker,

get rid of him.

Wipe him off the table.

Put him in the trash.

Find someone

who can trade size.

This gives me F.U. money.

I caught big.

You can't afford a suit,

you don't get in. I told him.

Tickets, please.

Let me get your tickets.

Thank you very much.

Thank you. You got a ticket

there, young lady?

You buy a ticket on the train,

I gotta charge you a penalty.

It sucks.

I know. Tell me about it.

Bureaucrats.

Tickets out, everybody.

Thanks, Gordon.

Thank you very much.

Knicks game. Knicks game.

Hey, get your feet off

the seat there, sweetheart.

You got a ticket?

It's a goddamn shame.

Shut your mouth. Of course

I know what I'm talking about.

How many years have I been

doing this? Tell me.

Do you mind?

I mind your 99-cent perfume.

-Tickets, guys.

-No, now I'm talking to you.

Thank you.

Come on, come on. Bye-bye.

Go ahead. Send it through.

I'm looking

at the numbers now.

Now arriving

68th Street Station.

Now leaving

68th Street Station.

Next stop,

86th Street Station.

Steinbeck?

Some say his greatest work

was a letter

he wrote to his son.

-Your book.

-Right.

I beg your pardon.

Thank you.

It's my first time

on a commuter train.

It's eclectic.

-What about you?

-Every day. Last 10 years.

Ten years?

You must know

everyone on this train.

The regular commuters,

I guess. Faces mostly.

-I'm sorry. Have we met?

-No. I'm Joanna.

-Michael.

-Michael.

How long is it between stops?

Four minutes?

Yeah, give or take.

Four minutes.

On and off, on and off.

It's so miscellaneous.

-I'm bothering you, aren't I?

-No.

I am.

You just wanna read your book.

It's... I'm married.

I... Me, too.

-Sorry.

-I study human behavior.

-It's an occupational hazard.

-Being married?

No, bothering people.

I'm a conversationalist.

So, in your job, you sit down,

strike up a conversation.

Then what?

Okay, let's say there are

100 people in this car.

There are

16 personality types,

as defined by psychology.

And so I can assume

that there are about

six people of each type,

with varying

degrees of response

to any particular situation.

My job is to answer

one basic question.

-What's that?

-What kind of person are you?

Me? You should

probably ask my wife.

-Let's do an experiment.

-Experiment?

It's painless.

It's just a simple

hypothetical question.

Okay.

What if I asked you

to do one little thing?

It's something that you are

uniquely qualified to do.

It's something

that's meaningless to you,

but it could profoundly affect

an individual on this train.

Would you do it?

I'd want to know

what kind of thing.

-Does it matter?

-Well, I think it does.

And you would never know

the consequences

of what you did.

Then why would I do it?

Because there

would be a reward.

A-ha.

So, What's the reward?

In the bathroom, carriage two,

maybe there is a package.

It's hidden,

and inside that package

is $25,000.

That money is yours,

plus another 75 cash,

if you do

this one little thing.

I don't understand.

Someone on this train

does not belong.

All you have to do

is find them. That's it.

This person is carrying a bag.

You don't know

what it looks like.

But inside that bag

is something they have stolen.

This person goes

by the name of Prynne.

It's not a real name.

They will be on this train

until Cold Spring.

You find them,

you find the bag,

that $100,000 is yours.

Don't leave the train

before finding the bag.

Don't tell anyone

about this offer.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Simple.

I thought

this was hypothetical.

It's just one little thing.

It shouldn't be too hard

for an ex-cop.

-Wait.

-Arriving at...

-How did you know...

- ...86th Street Station.

-That's me.

-You're being serious, right?

You have until

the next stop to decide.

What kind of person are you?

Now leaving

86th Street Station.

What?

You're kidding me.

Tickets, anybody? Ticket?

Excuse me.

You're gonna

wanna move on, pal.

The AC's out in here.

Actually, I was hoping

you could help me.

I'm looking for someone.

A friend.

Okay.

They're going to Cold Spring,

and I was wondering

if you keep track

of where everyone

gets on and off the train.

Yeah, I take pictures,

I hand out surveys, you know.

I didn't mean it like that.

Dude, it's tickets

and zones, okay?

They buy a ticket

for a station,

I punch the zone stub

and put it on the seat. Boom.

Is that just day riders or...

You said you're looking

for your friend, right?

Yeah.

You don't know

what they look like?

You're asking me questions

about passengers,

about protocol?

I know, it's stupid.

We only talked online.

She said she'd be here.

Lives in Cold Spring.

You're meeting an online date?

On a metro train?

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