The Cure

Hey, Erika, how is your

new boyfriend next door?

He's not next door, he's behind me,

I ain't never even seen him.

Who are your neighbors then,

Gomer Pyle and his brother Goober?

Eat sh*t...

What was that?

Hey, come back here, f*ggot!

I said come back here!

Who's there?

Are you asking me?

Are you spying me?

No, I'm working on my mud fort,

what are you doing?

I'm planting vegetables...

Thanks for moving in here,

now the kids in school call me f*ggot

and walk on the other side of the hall...

I have to live somewhere...

Why don't you go inside, until

I get done working on my garden.

Why?

So I don't have to worry

about catching something,

and dying!

It can't be transmitted through the air.

Just to be on the safe side,

I think you should go inside.

But I'm working on my mud fort...

Hey, what would you do if I come over

there and whooped your ass?

How long would that take?

About ten seconds...

I would wait until you were finished

and then I'd continue working on my mud fort.

You mean you'd just let me beat you up?

I'd try to stop you,

but I probably won't be able to...

I'm not very big.

In that case it would only take 5 seconds...

So is that what you're gonna do?

Maybe later...

Hello...

are you still there?

Sh*t!

Son of a b*tch!

I warned you what would happen

if you got all dirty again...

One, two, three, the winner!

There's some boys outside playing baseball.

If you can go make the effort

to get to know them,

it'll be very nice...

I'm gonna go out with some

girls from the office tonight,

so cook yourself a dinner in microwave.

Have you thought anymore about Colorado?

I'm not going to camp!

Yeah but if you just give it a chance,

you'd meet some extra friends...

Why can't I go see Dad?

We'll call him,

if he says yes,

I'll put you on the next plane...

You know, you and his little friend Cindy,

can go to the movies

and get in for half price!

She's 23, mom!

Amazing, old enough to drink!

Yeah, but she doesn't...

Man! I was on World Eight!

You know it's not good to spend too

much times with these games.

What a bullshit! It's boring.

I have nothing against going fishing,

but I'm not touching the worms.

- I'll take care the worms.

- I'll take care the worms.

- I will.

- Yeah, we'll see about that...

Good night.

Got ya first!

They ended up giving me two pints of blood.

I guess it's a lot for baby.

My grandmother said

you're going to hell,

she says you'll suffer eternal torture

of a billion flames,

hotter than the center of the Sun.

Then she must be some kind of genius...

What?

My doctor's really smart,

he says he has no idea what happens

to people after they die...

If your grandmother knows,

she must be a genius.

She's a clerk at K-Mart.

Maybe she's just an underachiever.

No, she's an idiot.

So maybe I won't go to hell after all.

Are you sure those germs of yours

don't travel through the air?

Yeah, Why?

How old are you?

Eleven.

Jesus, you're a midget!

Well, if you look at the lower limit

of what's considered normal for my age,

I'm only 4 inches shorter.

Oh...

So...

do you know how to play Battleship?

G9...

Miss.

Damn!

Are you sure?

Yup...

D7...

Miss.

I have to eat my lunch now.

Why don't you just eat

whenever you're hungry?

Cause if I only eat whenever

I was hungry, I wouldn't be here.

Do you wanna go to Peterson's?

- What is that?

- It's a supermarket.

Food...

You got any money?

In my bedroom.

What should we do with him?

You wanna burn him?

Where did you get it all?

Allowance...

and fines.

Fines?

It's a little hard to explain.

This is great, since I know

where the store is,

I'll be a the navigator

and you be treasurer.

What's a treasurer will do?

He carries all the money

and pays for things...

I'm to supposed to pay for both of us?

I'm navigating for both of us,

you want to be fair don't you?

How far is Peterson's?

Why?

If I walk too far I get kinda tired.

it'seems to me the depth of

the water would be the key...

Obviously in the middle of the

ocean the shark would win.

And on dry land the lion would win.

So how much water are we talking about?

2 and a half feet.

And how big is the shark?

Eleven feet.

I'd still sayin' the lion would win...

Wrong!

How can you be sure?

Cause they did research on

Stanford University,

the shark won easily.

They just let two animals killed

each other at the college?

No you idiot, they just had a fight

long enough to see who was gonna win,

and then the trainers pulled them apart.

How?

Haven't you ever heard of a leash?

Never heard a shark on a leash...

Or there's a lot of things

you've never heard of.

I guess that's true...

Hold on.

My mom says that every drop

of water that lands in the water here,

eventually end up in Mississippi.

That means it goes to my dad,

he still in New Orleans.

What does he do?

You've ever heard a rock

group called Led Zeppelin?

No...

They really famous,

you know who the guitar player is?

Your dad?

No, the guy named Jimmy Page,

my daddy,

sold him his car insurance.

for a Pontiac TransAm...

Know what you're gonna get?

I don't know, it's been a

long time since I've any candy.

My mom has me eats a lot of vegetables.

Come here...

We allowed to do this?

Of course! How else are you supposed

to know what you're gonna get!

- Wow!

- Not bad, huh...

Well you got your money...

Get out of the road!

Go on now!

A**hole!

3 degrees to the right,

aim fire!

You missed!

Hey, how much did you pay for that f*ggot?

You guys took a wrong turn,

this is a no homo zone.

I ain't a homo!

And neither is he!

He got from a blood transfusion...

What tell what's that awful smell?

Well, you see we were walking across the grass

and we accidentally stepped in your mother.

What did you say?

You can't hit it us all with that!

I only be aiming it at you...

Come on then...

And what about your little brother, huh?

What about him?

When he fell of the Jungle Jim at school,

they'd to take him to the hospital,

he could've caught something in...

Yeah, but he didn't...

But he could've!

Then everybody be calling him

f*ggot and queer,

and he'd get sick and die!

And you got homo on his headstone,

and when your mother went

to bring him flowers,

she would see her little Eddie Horner homo,

You know the worst part of that would be?

probably he before he died,

a bunch of a**holes like you,

who ain't sick and thought

it might be fun just

to beat the sh*t out of him!

Come on man, let's beat!

Sorry you're sick...

Thanks!

What'd you do that for?

Get 'em!

So long faggots!

Don't you think we should slow down?

- How?

- Anyway would be fine!

Ma'am get out of the way!

- Move it!

- Move your ass!

Oh God!

Hold on! Go!

Go!

So they really think I'm a f*ggot.

Now all of a sudden I'm yelling

the same stuff at them.

But they know I'm not a f*ggot,

cause a f*ggot won't yell

a f*ggot back,

Now that's why you should yell f*ggot too...

Well, just wouldn't be right saying that...

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