The Curse of the Jade Scorpion
Look. This is a big claim. The cops
want to nail the guy who stole it too.
The difference is we have to make good
the 30, 000 bucks. They don't.
To them it's another heist.
Or, has the owner stashed it
away someplace,
and is she trying to defraud us
out of a lot of money?
If you have large sums
of cash around the house,
we would insist on certain
alarm and security precautions,
which my supervisor
would have to approve.
What we usually do in a case like this
is handle the installation ourselves.
Sweetheart, can I get you?
John, can I bother you for a minute?
- I haven't had lunch yet.
- What do you want?
Let me have a cherry cheesecake, a prune
Danish and a couple of Hershey bars.
And I should have something sweet. Let
me have some chocolate-covered raisins.
- I found the missing Picasso.
- I don't believe it.
I-- It's at Galaxy Opticals.
They cut the thing out of the frame.
and it's in one of the telescopes.
- How'd you figure it out?
- It wasn't easy.
I'm supposed to be looking
for a picture of a woman with a guitar.
But it's all little cubes.
It took me two hours to find the nose.
- You should call the cops.
- Yeah, right away.
Would you excuse me?
Rosie, would you get me the fingerprints
on the Leland claim?
- Who won the sixth race at Aqueduct?
- Your horse came in seventh.
Seventh? Never bet on a horse
who has Parkinson's.
Congratulations. I heard
you recovered the stolen Picasso.
- Yeah, congrats on the art burglary.
- It was a breeze.
C.W., I brought you something
till your order gets here.
Thank you.
You want to be my date tonight?
- What's tonight?
- George's birthday.
- We're taking George out.
- All right. I'd love to.
But you have to have me home
and in bed by midnight.
That's exactly what I was planning.
[Man] My God, that girl's got
a body that won't quit.
Quit? It won't take
five minutes off for a coffee break.
- Oh, Briggsie, I forgot to tell ya.
- What?
- Hey, where are my-- Rosie!
- What?
- Where are my files? Where's my files?
- They're moved.
- What do you mean moved?
- They're all moved.
- Why?
- They're streamlining.
- This is Fitzgerald?
- Who else?
Did you take the files
out of my office?
Would you like to go out and try
coming back in like a human being?
- Did you move my files?
- if you don't like the human
idea, come in like an orangutan.
- That would be a step up too.
- Put them back... now-- this instant.
You knew we were
rearranging this floor.
Take my files--
Put them back in my office now.
You had plenty of time
to transfer them yourself.
Fitzgerald, if you were a man,
I would slam you in the teeth.
If I was a man,
you'd be hiding under the desk.
- This is what you do
- when I give you an order?
- Give me an order? You?
Who do you think I am,
some peroxide little stenographer...
with her brains in her sweater
whose rear end you pinch?
Pinch it?
I couldn't get my arms around it.
I don't take orders from you.
I work directly for Mr. Magruder.
We're in the process
of turning this place around.
I've been working here 20 years.
You're here six months.
I'm not interested in
your ideas about turning--
Get my files. Put 'em back now.
- Or what?
- "Or what?"
This is the question
you ask me? "Or what?"
"Or what?"
Are you saying "or what" to me?
If you don't get off my toe,
you're going to be singing
castrati with a glee club.
I... hated you, Fitzgerald, from
the day you set foot into this office.
You'd hate any woman who doesn't have
a double-digit I. Q
I'm a good judge of character.
I hate you, and I hate the chancellor
of Germany...
with the little mustache,
but not in that order.
Be careful when you leave.
Don't let the door hit you on the back
and fracture your pelvis.
So, did you tell her who's boss?
Is she kiddin',
talkin' to me like that?
It's 'cause she thinks she's smarter.
'Cause she graduated from Vassar,
and I went to driving school.
Does she have any idea
how many cases I cracked here?
whistles for her own cabs.
[Boy]
Excuse me. Miss Fitzgerald?
- Is that Miss Fitzgerald's lunch?
- Mm-hmm.
- Sorry we're so late. We're jammed up.
- That's okay.
- Here. Keep that. It's for you.
- Thanks.
This is Fitzgerald's lunch.
She's been waiting a long time for it.
I'll deliver it to her.
You got to come to some terms with this
woman. This thing is only gettin' worse.
What do we need an efficiency expert
here for?
When the old man was here,
this never could have happened.
Thought you were gonna take her out
for a drink, clear the air.
I did. I took her two weeks ago
to Rocky's Bar.
You and Fitzgerald at Rocky's Bar?
## [Piano ]
## [Piano ]
- Sorry I'm late.
- No problem. It's just
an hour and 15 minutes.
- My meeting ran long.
- I-- I understand.
We're revamping the offices, getting rid
of that antiquated filing system.
Yes? I can find anything I need.
I can locate it like that. I got a feel
for where all the stuffis in my office.
We're making a central data file on the
second floor. You'll get used to it.
What's the matter?
You look flushed.
No, I'm just--
I'm just a little warm. That's all.
You have all your
business meetings here?
It's near the office. The coat check
girl's pretty. don't you like it?
No, it's fine. Gives new meaning
to the word "dive, " but it's convenient.
I- I thought you'd appreciate
the thick smoke. You don't
have to put on as much makeup.
- [Man] What's the lady havin'?
- Tequila.
Hmm. Tsk.
So, um--
Betty-- Betty Ann--
Um, c-can-- s-should I call you--
I can call you Miss Fitzgerald,
which is fine with me.
I have no problem with that.
I-- I--
Tell me about yourself.
- Myself?
- Your hopes, your dreams, you know.
You married?
I mean, obviously you're not married,
'cause then it would not be Miss
Fitzgerald, so you have a boyfriend?
Is this why you got me here?
I just, um-- So--
What is your life like?
I mean, do you have any hobbies?
- I have a meeting in 15 minutes, so--
- I-I-I-I--
Not-- I didn't mean to ask
about your marital status.
That's none of my business. Maybe
you're-- It's a touchy point with you.
You're possibly divorced or widowed.
Maybe your husband committed suicide.
I could understand that.
Mr. Magruder hired me to streamline
the office, and I'm going to.
But if something is not broken, you know
what I say? I say, why fix it?
There's a reason North Coast has slipped
from the top five insurance companies.
There's an enormous amount
of waste and duplication.
Yeah, not-- not in my department.
There's not a single department
that couldn't be run more
efficiently or economically.
I'm not even sure North Coast
wouldn't be better off not carrying...
an investigative division and just
farming out each case privately.
[ Stammers ]
Would it be possible to meet at some
point and have a drink and discuss that?
- We are having a drink.
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"The Curse of the Jade Scorpion" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_curse_of_the_jade_scorpion_6159>.
Discuss this script with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In