The Dark Half Page #2

Tell them "I'm George Stark. "

OK, come on.

Eat hearty. If I do this crazy thing

your mother's talkin' about...

...we'll end up livin' on cat food.

I think Thad Beaumont can sell enough

books to keep his family off the streets.

What do you guys think, huh? Is it

time to say "Bye-bye, Uncle George?"

Yeah. Hm.

Well, I guess it's unanimous.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Oh, no.

- Sh*t!

- That's all right.

- I think I cooked it a little too long.

- No, it'II... it'll be good.

(she laughs)

So that's the story, Rick. It seems like

going public is the right thing to do.

I just need to know you're all right with it.

Stark earns a lot more for you than I do.

Well, hey, if you don't want me to do

this, I'll give it some more thought.

Yeah.

Yeah... No, absolutely.

Oh, yeah, sure we have.

- Miriam? What, is she there?

- (whispers) Are you kidding?

You guys patching things up?

No such thing. We're committed

to making our divorce work.

But she still is my business partner.

She's picking up the extension.

Thad, your new book is gonna

win awards and sell 200,000 hardback.

Who needs George Stark?

We'll help you get rid of him.

I'll put out a press release, you can

do the talk shows. I say hallelujah.

You heard the lady, Thad.

We're with you 100o/, baby.

Bye, Thad. Kiss the babies for me.

- Bye-bye.

- Talk to you soon.

- Sh*t.

- He shouldn't be writing trash.

We have a lot of clients

who can make us money with trash.

I like trash. I love trash.

I read George Stark cos it's fun.

I read Thad Beaumont

because it's my job.

That's why we now live

across town from each other.

Let's get back to work.

(Rick) So we kill off George Stark.

OK, that's OK. We kill off Stark.

Hey, maybe Beaumont's books

start to sell. Who knows?

Stranger things have happened.

Stranger things have happened.

- You're not sold on this?

- It's the money, Liz.

We're used to a pretty nice life.

Flushing that away just...

Be honest, Thad. You don't wanna give up

George. You've become attached to him.

Yeah, well, I mean, is that so weird? I've

been working with the guy for a long time.

I'm used to him. I like having him around.

Sure. He lets you do what you want, say

anything you want, be anything you want.

He's your drinking buddy.

Liz, I'm not an alcoholic. Hm?

- George Stark is.

- Oh, come on.

You don't realise what you're like

when you write those books, do you?

- It's like watching Jekyll turn into Hyde.

- That's a little extreme.

I'm not out raping barmaids.

Thad Beaumont gave up drinking.

He gave up smoking. George Stark didn't.

And these god-awful moods you get in...

You say these really

mean things sometimes.

Look, I am who I am, Liz.

It's all me. It's all part of me.

Even the ugliness is a part of me.

"Machine turned the razor down

and slashed the strop in two. "

"A long section fell to the floor

like a severed tongue. "

"'Cut him' Jack Rainsley said eagerly.

'Cut him while I stand and watch. "'

"'I wanna see the blood flow. "'

"Halstead squeezed his eyes shut, but the

razor slid effortlessly through the lid...

...and punctured the eyeball beneath

with a faint popping sound. "

"'I'm back' Machine said.

'I'm back from the dead...

...and you don't seem glad to see me at all,

you ungrateful son of a b*tch. "'

Yeah, well. I hope you're not looking for

any social significance, Mr Donaldson...

...because there ain't none to be found.

You're the New Yorker.

I can tell by the hair.

Mike Donaldson, People Magazine.

You're, uh... the photographer?

Yes, sir. Homer Gamache.

I'm gonna do this up brown for you.

And you're Thad Beaumont.

Seen you around town. Whoever'd

have thought you was a celebrity?

- I'm not the celebrity. George Stark is.

- Well, we're here to change that.

Come on, you guys. Let's go.

Thad, will you grab my purse, please?

- Yeah.

- OK. All right.

All right, I got the diaper bag.

- You've got a terrific getaway.

- Thank you.

- (doorbell)

- Oh, excuse me.

We can never get up here. When Thad's

teaching, we have to stay in the city.

Trudy, thanks for coming over.

- Did they take pictures of the little ones?

- No.

Good. Kidnappers around, you know.

They might see a picture,

it might give 'em some ideas.

They're not gonna take

pictures of the kids.

Not while I'm around they won't.

These men make a mess, don't they?

- Well...

- Come on, let's go upstairs.

I'm doin' a series of photographs.

You... you might be interested in this.

Photographs of teddy bears.

Lyin' in coffins!

I wanna make 'em into a book.

The final perfect comment

on the American way of... death.

All this folderol we put ourselves through.

Hate funerals. Hate any kind of folderol.

I'll show it to you when it's done.

Who knows?

Maybe you'd like to... write the text.

Not much of a view.

If I had a window in here I think

I'd just sit and stare at the lake all day.

This is where George Stark

came into being. Right here in this room.

- I noticed the old typewriter.

- Yeah, I've had that since I was a boy.

- I still use it. George doesn't.

- You're kidding.

No. George doesn't hold with typewriters.

George uses one of these.

From day one, he's used these.

You really are serious?

Dead serious. It's the truth.

- Was it hard to get George started?

- No.

One evening I was just sitting here.

I picked up one of these pencils.

Before I knew it, I'd written 16 pages

without a single scratch-out.

It was like George just...

...woke up and started to talk.

You'II, uh... forgive me for noting...

...but these behaviours

could be interpreted...

...as classic symptoms of schizophrenia.

Yes, I'll forgive you for noting that.

I don't think George would, though.

I don't think George would like any of this,

Mr Donaldson.

This isn't George's idea of a fun morning.

In fact, I think it's safe to say that George

would want your balls for breakfast.

- Thaddeus. Elizabeth.

- Hi, Digger.

I hope you don't mind crazy Homer.

- He wants to set up a fake tombstone.

- A fake tombstone?

"You don't want to go

walkin' on the dead" I says.

"Make sure you use an empty plot

where nobody's buried. "

Then I remembered

"Thad Beaumont owns one"...

...that your daddy bought for you over here

near where your ma and pa is buried.

So I said "Why don't you use that?"

So, I hope you don't mind.

This is where Homer is settin' up.

GEORGE STARK 1985-1991

GEEN AARDIGE vEN

This was my idea. I was takin' pictures

of teddy bears when I thought of it.

Ain't it a hoot? I told you

I was gonna do this up brown for ya.

Must be strange for you, Thad.

Kinda like standing over your own grave.

You know, I just... I really think

that this is, you know, a little much.

- Yeah.

- Aw, it's good fun, is all.

- New York's gonna love it. Wait and see.

- The American way of death.

That's it! A little folderol

for old George there.

- Come on in now. We're losin' the light.

- Why not just take a couple of Thad?

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