The Death of Mr. Lazarescu

THE DEATH OF MR. LAZARESCU

Come to dinner.

Come on, Mirandolina, eat that.

You don't like it?

Go on, eat...

That's all I have.

So missy, I've got a headache.

For about 4 days now

I have a headache and I throw up

but I don't think it's from the stomach.

No...

Aspirin, algocalmin,

extraveral and distonocalm.

No, I can't really, I've just

told you I've got a headache.

Well, yeah, I drink,

like any other man.

I had a little drink today, too...

Not quite so, missy,

it's not like I'd drink any crap.

Going on 63...

Yeah, 2nd floor, flat 17.

Lazarescu Dante Remus.

Yes, I'm home.

Thank you and I wish you good night.

In the sea

there are but predatory fish.

You can use polenta for small fish.

Here the big fish eats the small one.

They're all on meat,

polenta doesn't really work in the sea.

It is the wrong kind of bait.

"Well", he said,

"I'm here for the salty air".

The air works ok but if you don't

catch anything, know what I mean.

If you don't get votes...

We didn't get any clear message.

Once again, no message.

Cause, look,

Ciuhandu an honorable character,

flawless speech, serious.

You'd expect him to rally

the people from Timisoara

and get at least 90% of the votes.

Timisoara turned out rather poor.

Hello, missy, it's me again.

Hello, yes, the Ambulance.

It's me again, Lazarescu.

Then tell the colleague I spoke with

I had ulcer surgery 14 years ago

and I also have leg ulcer

but no big deal.

I've been thinking this headache

might be from the stomach.

I've been thinking this headache

might be from the stomach.

Lazarescu.

Fetesti 2.

Ok, I got that.

I don't think it's serious but

I rather get a specialist's opinion.

Thank you

and I'll be waiting for you.

My surgery is hurting, cat face.

You don't care, you bloody animal.

Compote.

How you're doing Nusu?

And you, the little one.

Where have you been wandering all day?

You dogcat,

sit here nicely dogcat.

Go to f***.

Just f***ing close.

Where are you going kitten?

Madam de Pompadour.

Incoerenza.

...five-four-five.

Hello, is this

the Muscalu residence? Virgil?

Hi Virgil, how you're doing?

Is Eva there?

Hold on man, I haven't forgotten.

Why do you think I've called?

You, my sister, whatever.

Hello, Virgil, Virgil.

I've sent the money by post today

and you gonna get it tomorrow.

Right, then next time I'll get

my pension I'll just send it all to you.

That's better, isn't it?

So, say,

can you put Eva on the phone?

Well I said I'll send it by 1st,

and I did.

Now can I speak with Eva?

Please!

I'll wait, of course,

I'm not gonna run.

Hey sis, how are you?

That's just what I wanted

to talk with you about.

Why didn't you tell me

you spoke with Bianca?

Sure, you told me after I asked you.

You know very well I'm right.

If she only calls you...

I know damn well

that she calls you more often.

Listen, I don't feel that well

with my ulcer.

What's with you all,

talking about this drinking?

You don't get ulcer from alcohol.

I'm sorry, but I drink

at my own expense.

Do you hear me Eva,

I drink at my own expense.

You get ulcer from helico bacteria.

Well, see,

you're learning new things.

No Eva, I have no idea.

I have this surgery for 14 years and

I haven't got a clue. Luckily you do.

Good thing you, intellectuals,

know better than the doctors.

Yeah, alright. But I'm asking you

nicely to stop lecturing me.

Do you hear me Eva?

Stop lecturing and nagging me.

No, you wouldn't like it either.

I don't know.

I don't know, but maybe

you don't want to speak with me anymore.

I noticed that only Virgil

answers the phone lately.

Ok, we'll do it the way you want.

Thank you.

And thank your sweet husband

for the money,

Fine, and leave me with my ulcer

and keep on talking to Bianca,

gossiping about my drinking.

Ok you, but in the end I drink

at my own expense.

Do you hear me Eva?

I drink at my own expense.

Goodbye!

Cheerio!

Gracefully yours!

Hello, yes.

- My respects, ma'am.

- Yes, what is it?

Well done, you left with the mitts.

Just a second.

Where on the balcony should I put it?

Cheers Romica!

- Where should I take it?

- Take it to the balcony.

Take it to the balcony and put it down,

on the tiles, by the plant.

- Good evening.

- Evening dear.

Smaranda, tie your shoelaces, please.

What's wrong,

aren't you feeling very well?

I beg your pardon Mrs. Mihaela,

so, I've called the ambulance,

but until it arrives could you give me,

I mean lend me a Distonocalm?

I don't know, I'll have a look,

but I don't think we got any.

But if you've been drinking

your headache is from the alcohol.

You drank, 'cause you smell.

Lady, please be so kind

and have a look. I'll pay for them.

C'mon now, let's be serious.

It's not about the money.

I got this headache at the temple

before having the drink.

I'm afraid we don't have

strong painkillers

cause we don't buy such things.

Ill go and look for a Distonocalm.

What's up Romica? The stomach again

or it's moved on the pancreas?

Stop drinking Romica.

Let go of the f***ing bottle.

Stop drinking or you're going down.

I threw up 4 times today,

from the aspirin.

I don't think

I can stand it any longer, Sandu.

What do you want me to bring you?

A pill of Metoclopramide

or some cabbage juice?

I've called the ambulance

and I thought of taking a pill.

Ambulance on a Saturday?

You think they would bother?

Screw them.

They would rip you off

since they raised the medicines prices.

What you need is rest, buddy,

sohlaffen and cabbage juice.

Don't be tense,

it won't go away if you fight it.

- It hurts, Sandu.

- Don't be stubborn.

Like I said, I didn't find Distonocalm

but I brought you Diclofenac.

But I have Diclofenac.

Well, I don't know what to say,

- Let me give you one just now.

- Don't rush to give him one.

It isn't good for ulcer.

Check this out.

- We only buy homeopathics for ourselves.

- So, do you need this?

I'm not sure, I wanted a Distonocalm.

And you give him Diclofenac when

the man's been puking since morning.

I didn't know. I'll go

and get Metrocropmide right away.

He should have said it's nausea.

When I'm hung over, I just rub

my arms and I'm back to normal.

What's she doing?

Oh, f***!

Miki!

What?

What the hell are you doing,

trying to set us on fire?

Wait, don't turn it off.

Turn it down and leave it.

Come on, it didnt get burned.

Nice of you to sort this one out.

Another one sorted by you!

Look at my burn. F***ing pan!

Are you gonna get those pills?

So, Romica, note the following aspect.

the nausea is caused by the drink

and it's not good for your stomach.

you don't drink the right way,

you're mixing the drinks.

Stop mixing the drinks.

Gee, but you stink. What the hell

have you drunk? Rat poison?

Are you giving me that, or what?

These are not good for you,

with your ulcer...

Only after you eat.

- How are you doing, boy?

- Good evening.

Robert, tell your dad I need that

drilling machine if he's finished with it.

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