The Deathmaker

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THE DEATHMAKER:

You already know that!

You started school when you were 6?

I can't really say. Probably, yes.

- Did you do well?

- It went alright.

Did you get good grades?

They all liked me a lot.

- Which subjects were easy?

- I did alright in all of them.

- Aren't you fabulous at writing?

- Yes! I used to write even faster.

- Did you take geography?

- Yes. We had a big map.

What's the capital of Germany?

That's Berlin.

I've been there.

What river is Berlin on?

I can't say.

The Leine flows through here.

When did you visit Berlin?

In 1918, when I...

- ... got out of jail.

- You were in jail?

Didn't you know?

Then there was no need to tell you.

How long did you stay in Berlin?

Days, weeks?

No, not for a week. I was traveling

through, got out, and had a look.

What did you see in Berlin?

I can't say.

Oh, yes!

We saw big fat sausages, like this!

Nothing else?

He showed me everything,

but I can't recall.

Did you see any monuments?

- Did you go to the red-light district?

- I don't know where it is.

- Did you bugger any boys?

- Never!

The boy at the station showed me

Berlin!... I haven't shaved yet.

- You didn't have intercourse with him?

- No! I left town!

Didn't shag him?

Come on! What does he think of this?

Did you give him money?

There wasn't any bread!

Only coupons.

And we had some sausages.

He was glad to get something to eat.

So who lives in Berlin?

- I can't say

- Any child would know!

Berlin's so big!

How many people live in Berlin?

- More than in Hanover!

- And in Hanover?

Over a million.

- I don't believe it!

- It's true!

How much is a million?

A million?

We've got those notes nowadays,

haven't we? I've lost track.

Do you know how much a thousand is?

I had one like that.

A hundred is... how much?

10 times 10.

1,000 is... how many times 100?

1,000 marks are...

...well, 1,000 marks!

How many times 100 is 1,000?

Is he here often?

How many 100-mark notes...

...do you have to add up...

...to get 1,000 marks?

Ten, right. Come on, calculating!

Ask me something else.

What is meant by percentage?

Percentage?

Percentages? Never had any.

What is meant by percentage?

- Don't you know?

- Yes, yes, I used to know.

I'd have to think about it.

I can't say just now.

I'll think about it.

You weren't born yesterday?

- No.

- Aren't you a salesman?

- And I bet you're a pretty clever one.

- Yes, sure, but calculating...

I just don't like doing sums!

Is Hanover on the Leine?

Yes.

Where does the Leine flow to?

- Into the sea.

- What sea?

Down to Hamburg. Into the North Sea.

Does the Leine flow

into the North Sea?

That's the Elbe.

Where the big ships are.

- What city lies on the Elbe?

- Hamburg. Hans was there.

- What other city lies on the North Sea?

- Lubeck.

- That's where Frau Krause is from!

- There's another city on the Leine.

Bremen! Herr Hartkopf lived there.

- He used to bring tobacco.

- For your father's factory?

No. Don't say that.

It was my mother's!

What are the cities of Hamburg,

Lubeck and Bremen called together?

Come on!

Hamburg is Hamburg, Bremen

is Bremen and Lubeck is Lubeck.

- Aren't they the Ha...

- Hanover? No.

- Hanse...?

- Never heard of it.

The three Hanse towns.

Yes, that's right. I've heard of that!

Do you know a large river in Germany?

Yes, the Rhine.

I was at the NCO-school there.

- Which city lies on the Rhine?

- Neubreisach.

Another one.

- Strasbourg! I passed through it.

- Another one!

We didn't go any further.

- Where does the Rhine rise?

- In Chur in Switzerland.

Frau Tappe said, "Step across there.

Do you know what you just crossed?"

I said, "No. " She said,

"The Rhine!"

I thought it was just some little stream.

- Where does the Rhine flow to?

- Into... the North Sea.

- And through which country last?

- It has to flow down to Hamburg.

Not through Holland?

No, I don't think so.

The Rhine... is a German river.

The Rhine, the Rhine,

the German Rhine...

Love the fatherland and all is well!

Fritz!

What's happening there now?

What's going on?

Nothing.

Is it all ours?

The Rhine!

- Aren't the French there now?

- The French? What for?

When was the Great War?

I know that. 1918.

- There was a revolution.

- When did it begin?

I wasn't here.

- Aren't you German?

- I am! I was with the infantry.

You must know when the war began.

It must've been...

...early 1914, I think.

This music... I like it.

Name a battle from the war.

Batter?

Name a battle from the war.

- I didn't get it. Say it again.

- You do know what a battle is?

You mean in the field?

- I was a soldier.

- Name a battle from the war.

Koniggratz?

In the Great War!

At Sedan.

When was that?

They took Napoleon prisoner there!

Is Napoleon

still the emperor of France?

- Sure! They've got an emperor.

- Do we still have a Kaiser?

We must have a Kaiser!

- But we don't have a Kaiser.

- Yes, we do!

Who took the Kaiser's place?

Did he die? I didn't know.

Today we are a...

re... pu...

...blic? No. France is one!

Who's head of our Republic?

- Fritze...?

- Fritze is MY name!

- Ebert! Fritze Ebert!

- No, no, never heard of any Ebert, no.

Have you ever heard of Hindenburg?

He lives in Hanover, in Eilenriede.

People said, "Hindenburg's coming!"

There were so many people.

But I never saw him.

Turn around, Fritz.

That's fine. Now walk.

Keep walking!

Satisfied with the food, Fritz?

Yes, very satisfied.

What do they give you?

Last Sunday I had some

nice bouillon and roast...

...some potatoes. All very nice.

What else did you have?

Oh, yes, best of all: cucumber salad!

How's bouillon made?

Bouillon? From meat and bones.

But not pork!

From what else, Fritz?

I know what you're getting at, Inspector.

You mean human bones!

There's no such thing.

There isn't?

How many commandments are there?

- Ten.

- Name one.

Honor your father and mother. Stop!

Did you honor your

father and mother?

My mother, yes, always.

- But not my father.

- Why not?

He always wanted to

send me to Hildesheim!

What did your father do?

He used to be a truck driver.

Then he quit and married my mother.

She had a little cigar factory.

She employed ten people!

Even as a little boy I had to work.

That's why I couldn't stand him!

And he always yelled at me,

"You scaredy-pants!"

I couldn't help shitting my pants.

I didn't want to!

One commandment says:

"Thou shalt not steal. "

- What does "steal" mean?

- To swipe stuff.

- I never did that.

- Weren't you punished a lot?

No. The others stole the stuff

and brought it to me. Then I bought it.

- Is that allowed?

- Yes,

if you want to stay alive.

What do you call

"buying stolen goods?"

- It's called "receiving?"

- Is that punishable?

- That's what I said! The landlady...

- Is receiving punishable by law?

You shouldn't do it.

And why shouldn't you do it?

- Well, they swiped the stuff.

- Why isn't swiping stuff allowed?

- Most people do it.

- I don't.

No. But most of the people

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