The Decline of Western Civilization Page #3

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once I'm loaded.

We've tried everything short

of gluing his mouth to it.

Yeah, this mic's not working.

Things get broken,

monitors, mics,

but you kind of have

to expect that

if you're hiring an energetic

young band.

Darby, pick up the mic!

The mic!

One...

[GUITAR FEEDBACK]

[PLAYING RIFF]

[DARBY SINGING]

Well, when they first got

together as a band,

they didn't know

how to play their instruments.

And they did things to,

kind of, camouflage that.

Darby would smear peanut butter

all over him.

He'd dive through broken glass.

He'd break glasses on his head.

And eventually,

they learned how to play.

[PLAYING PUNK SONG]

[SCREAMING]

Oh, you are manly!

[SCREAMING]

PENELOPE:
What kind of drugs do

you take when you're on stage?

LORNA:
What doesn't he?

Anything-

Usually, I do speed

or something.

And then that gets too nervous

so I do some kind of downers.

Then I start drinking.

4 see.

- LORNA:
Give me a beer.

Somebody give me a beer.

Damn it,

somebody give me a beer.

A beer, damn it! A beer!

Damn it, one of you

give me a beer.

Give me a beer, you f***ing...

Well, it's more like...

being the mother of

four three-year-olds who...

are always fighting

with each other,

but not really

seriously fighting.

Just, He did this to me.

She did this.

I can't stand it

and sometimes I get

to the end of my rope

and just wanna batter

my children.

PENELOPE:
What happened

to your throat?

We were at some party

and we were taking pictures

and, um, Shannon had like

this switch blade like this

and I went like that.

Like this side,

just missed my jugular

and the Swiss knife

just missed my wind pipe.

Do you feel like

you wanna quit sometimes?

Oh, yes. Almost all the time.

PENELOPE:
Tell me

about the painter.

MICHELLE:
Oh,

the dead painter.

My parents were in China.

And we were just finishing

having the house painted.

Coffee.

And Darby and Donny

and Dinky and Mark Plummer

and my brother

were all at my house.

And my brother and I

went to take the trash out at,

like, one in the morning

or something.

And we hadn't been out

in the backyard...

It was on a Tuesday, we hadn't

been out in the backyard since,

um, my parents left,

since like the Friday before.

And so, anyways, um,

I went outside and I must

have walked right over the guy

'cause I couldn't see anything

anyways. [LAUGHS]

And then my brother,

my brother goes,

"Isn't there somebody sleeping

in the backyard?"

And I just went, "What?

What are you talking about?"

And, um, I went over

and looked at him

and I was just joking,

I went, "This guy's dead."

And I gave him a kick

in the stomach, you know?

And he was dead.

He was dead.

My brother thought

we killed him.

He goes, "What should we do?"

Like, "Should we hide

the body or something?"

So anyways, um, we went.

And Donny had a camera

and we went and we lied down.

I lied down next to him

and we all got around him

and we took a bunch

of pictures,

like family pictures and we're

all going, "Hi", you know

and taking pictures and stuff.

What really happened to the guy?

Um, they think he had a heart

attack and fell off the ladder

and no one found him

for a few days.

[CLEARING THROAT]

It was really funny, actually.

And the paramedics came

and they were joking with us.

And the coroner came.

Oh, you remember

all those jokes?

Oh, yeah! What was the jokes?

Instead of John Doe,

they put down Jose Doe

because it was a wet back.

PENELOPE:
Didn't you feel bad

that the guy was dead?

No, not at all.

Because I hate painters.

[PLAYING SHUTDOWN]

This is Malissa's Song.

Let me

Touch the tips of

Inculcated desire

And brush the fettered

Veil away

Shut down

[MUTTERING]

In the depths I lay

Shut down

In the depths I lay

Shut me

Touch the tips of inculcated

Desire

And brush the fettered

Veil away

Shut down

In the depths I lay

if you want nothing

Then I've got nothing

I'm your f***ing

Annihilation man

I don't care about you

Fm gonna bleed

Come on, let's bleed

You don't know

How the others chose

When 8 fee!

I just know

You're not my first fantasy

Won't you be?

I know all your fantasies

We really bleed

We really mean it

Gonna miss joy

And all that f***ing too

Conceive

They produced it

They produced it

When my ego falls so far

I don't know what

I'm looking for in here

Why Fm here

When! fee! you're so far

Don't tell me

Please

Really please

All can see

I can't see

When 8 fee! more are there

I know that you don't care

Oh, can't you see?

I really bleed

What do 8 need?

I don't care if you know it

One more time

This is Melissa's song!

Shut down

Shut down, go away

In the depths I lay

Go away

In the depths I lay

Go away

Go away

Hey!

Hey!

Go away from here.

Get away from here!

N Now!!

DARBY:
Hey, can we do more?

[SCREAMING]

-[WHISTLING]

-DARBY:
No more?

ROBERT EGGS'. Slash Magazine

began in May of 1977.

It was an idea of Steve Samiof

and Melanie Nissen.

And it was basically,

at that point, a fanzine

about the local, uh...

Los Angeles bands,

garage bands.

And would be better

than garage bands.

And the first print run was

a thousand as pretty thin paper.

And then it just kept growing

until now we're at 20,000,

uh, circulation.

[TYPEWRITER CLACKING]

It's a major accomplishment

that we come out every month

because there a lot of problems

tugging at the whole

thing every month.

I mean, it seems like each

month we seem to, uh, alienate

at least one record company

by a review

or a band or someone, you know,

that's pissed off at us.

And everyone seems to get

on everyone else's nerves.

And there are things that happen

like one of the contributors

got on another one's nerves,

so he broke the other

guy's collar bone.

And then, uh,

another contributor

punched out one

of our photographers

who refuses to contribute

any photographs

until he gets a written apology.

I have excellent news

for the world.

There's no such thing

as "new wave."

It does not exist.

It's a figment of, uh...

a lame c*nt's imagination.

There was never any

such thing as "new wave."

It's just a polite thing to say

when you are trying to explain

you were not into

the boring old rock 'n' roll,

but you didn't dare to say punk

because you were afraid to get

kicked out of the f***ing party

and they wouldn't give you

coke any more.

There's new music,

there's new underground sound.

There's noise, there's punk,

there's power pop, there's ska,

there's rockabilly.

But "new wave"

doesn't mean sh*t.

"Hey, I'm writing to you because

"I'm told you're an expert

in the field of punk rockers.

"The question I have arises

out of an experience I had

"on a recent Saturday

on Pico Boulevard.

"As I approached a close-by

phone booth, a nasty-looking lad

who was standing in the middle

of the crosswalk.

"He stood there

for a few seconds

while a couple of weirdos

ran around

to the backside of my car

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