The Dentist 2 Page #2

Bernice, would you bring|that box of gloves?

I'd appreciate it if you'd sterilize|your instruments one more time.

Anything else, doctor?

Perhaps the equipment|is too old for your liking,

or maybe you miss the music,|is that it?

You like a little elevator|music with your dentistry?

How about some Lysol|in the cabinets?

Sure you want me to put|in your cap?

You're the only game in town.

Yes, I am.

Open up.

This is a country practice, doctor.

Granted, it's plain and simple,

but the folks around here seem|to like it just fine.

So, I'd be obliged, city boy,

if you'd keep your opinions|to yourself

and your fingers out of|my patients' mouths.

( Continues honking )

A**hole.

Cretin.

Burns.

Burns!

( Country music playing )

You incompetent buffoon.

What are you doing here?

Look at this.

What did you use, library paste?

And you call yourself a dentist?

You stay away from me.|Bernice! Bernice!

Oh, Bernice is out to lunch.

In more ways than one.

Drill 'em,|fill 'em, bill 'em...

that's your philosophy, huh?

You know, you and your|ilk, Doctor Burns...

make dentists the boogeymen|of medicine.

Something to be feared...

to be avoided at all costs.

I've worked my entire career|to change all that.

You see, a trip to the dentist|should be pleasant,

something to look forward to.

That is, of course, if the dentist|in question is competent.

It's not the cap,|you're a fruitcake.

Funny you should mention that.

You're scaring me.

I'm trying to.

Now, repeat after me,|''I am an incompetent dentist...''

Say it.

I... am...|an incompetent dentist.

Now...

- I...|- I...

- am...|- am...

- a...|- a...

bogeyman.

I can deal with this.

( Opera music plays )

( Phone rings )

Your call is being answered by|a machine, please leave a message.

Love and kisses from|your favorite private eye.

I'm in Grand Junction, Colorado.

No luck so far,|next stop is North Platt, Nebraska.

Up with people.

Ciao, baby.

Too bad about Doc Burns, isn't it?

Yes. Yes it is.

And too bad for Paradise.

The answer is no, Jeremy.

Well, I didn't get where I am|by accepting no for an answer.

I have a responsibility. What kind of|town would this be without a dentist?

You won't even consider it?

No.

Just till we find somebody.

What part of ''no'' don't|you understand, Jeremy?

I did not give up a|lucrative practice in Washington

to start from scratch|somewhere else.

Sweet deal for somebody,

house, practice,|everything for a song.

Promise me you'll|at least think it over.

Afternoon, doctor.

Let me show you around.

A little spackle, fresh coat of paint,|maybe some new carpeting,

you've got yourself|one fine, little office here.

Come on in, city boy.|( Laughing )

( Laughing )

Feinstone her, Dr. Caine.|Feinstone the b*tch.

No, no, no...no.

Hey.

You're home early.

I wasn't feeling well.

What's wrong?

Um, a toothache. It's nothing.

I have an appointment Saturday|with Dr. Davis over in Otis.

That's 7O miles away.

May I look at it?

All right.|Want to open for me?

( Inner voices )|Feinstone her, Dr. Caine.|Feinstone the b*tch.

Are you okay, Larry?

I'm fine, just open,|open wide, Jamie.

Sensitive?

It's nothing serious. You just have|a small cavity near the gum line.

And, um, I think it's|best if we fill it.

Is it going to hurt?

Shouldn't.

Want to open wide?

All right, turn your head a little|this way. There we go.

That's it.

That's it?|I didn't even feel it.

You're not supposed to.

Are you okay, Larry?

I...I'm going to|have to change this burr.

( Inner voice ) Feinstone her,|Dr. Caine. Feinstone her.

I am not crazy.

I am not going to hurt her.

Jamie:
|Is there anything wrong?

No, no, I'm fine.

Just cleaning the instruments.

Be right with you.

Why is it so scary|to come to the dentist?

It doesn't have to be.

All right.

I'll have you fixed up in no time.

Ready?

I did it. I did it.

I'm a dentist.

I'm the best damn|dentist there ever was.

Are you excited?

Excited?|Yes, I uh...I think I am.

Well the people of|Paradise thank you, Larry.

Lawrence.

Hey, hey.|Picture time.

No, I just want Larry in front of|the sign. He's the man of the hour.

Boo.

You know, I could fix that.

Oh, I'm used to it.

Whenever you're ready.

Jamie, let me show|you the house.

I haven't really|changed the structure.

I mean the layout|is pretty much the same.

This is nice.

You've done wonders.

I believe a harmonious environment is|essential to the dental experience.

This one is just perfect.

Perfect?|Oh, not quite.

I'm reserving that for the operatory|that I'm creating upstairs.

Coming up, watch your back.

- I can't wait to see it.|- You'll be the first.

Ah, well.|My first patient.

-You look very nice.|- See ya.

Just a small country practice.

I think|I'm going to like it here.

I've got a feeling he's going|to be real good for this town.

( Phone rings )

Hello?

Hi, Jamie.|Are you still hard at work?

I'm about ready to quit for the night.|How's the filing coming?

At this rate I should be done|somewhere around the millennium.

- That bad?|- Worse.

- Anyway, I just called to say hi.|- Hi.

I'll talk to you tomorrow, huh?

- Okay.|- Bye-bye.

( Loud knocking at door )

- Dr. Caine?|- Yes.

Oh, am I glad to see you.

The cab jockey thought you|might be working late.

I thought I'd give it a shot.

My damn tooth is killing me.

Uh, come in.

You're a Hall of Famer, Doc.|A Hall of Famer.

You think when we're finished you|could give me a ride to the bus stop?

I've got to catch the 1O:4O to K.C.

A ride?|I'm a dentist, not a cab jockey.

You know, the motel guy said|the only dentist in town was dead.

I had to track you down.

You're kind of flying|under the radar, Doc.

( Laughing )|Kind of like Stealth Dentist.

Well sir, you found me.

I guess tonight|is my lucky night.

We'll see.

I'm from the left coast.|L.A., la la land.

Swimming pools,|movie stars, boob jobs.

I'm on my way to K.C. Thinking about|doing a little real estate speculating.

You know,|my rental car broke down.

And they started|to hassle me about it.

I told them to shove it, you know.|I'll just take the bus.

Have you ever been to L.A., Doc?|Have we ever met before?

God, I swear|you look familiar.

Go ahead and|open your mouth, sir.

You have a bus to catch.

I, I'm terrible with names,|but I never forget a face.

- Ah, ah.|- Hold still.

Doc, that hurts|like a b*tch.

You're not going in there dry,|are you, Doc?

I mean, I'm not anti-narcotics.

I'll administer an anesthetic.

Good.

Hey you know, just last year,|I picked out a guy at Dodger Stadium,

two sections over. I knew this guy|from somewhere, I didn't know where.

And then it hit me.|St. Paul, 1983...

...footwear expo.|Florsheim booth.

I went over and checked it out.|It was him. Hee hee.

I never forget a face.

Have you every been to|Dodger Stadium, Doc?

No, that's not it. But don't tell me,|don't tell me. It's coming.

You're definitely|Southern California.

I detest baseball.

Oh, I'm never wrong, Doc.

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