The Devil Is a Woman

Gentlemen, I'm going to be brief.

Tomorrow the Carnival begins.

Unfortunately, every crook

within a thousand miles...

every political offender and exile will try

to take advantage of the masquerade.

If you catch a man stealing, shoot him.

Less trouble afterwards.

But I want no useless arrests.

Last year, the gaol and the hospital

were a disgraceful sight.

I definitely do not want any interference

with the people's pleasures.

If you must make one or two arrests,

because you will not listen to me...

then make them, but no more.

Dismissed!

[Playing lively instrumental music]

Say, where are all the pretty girls today?

Pretty girls? Watch this.

Watch this!

[Bell ringing]

Will you please give my card

to the lady of the house?

Which lady, sir?

- The lady who lives here.

- What is her name, sir?

- Look here, your mistress expects me!

- I'm sorry, sir. I'm not so informed.

- Antonio!

- Pascual!

What luck! How wonderful to see you again!

You young idiot. What if you're recognised?

Turn around. Sit down.

Turn your back.

What on earth ever tempted you

to leave Paris?

I'm on my way back there now.

I came to see my parents.

But there's a price on your head.

Don't you know we have a new governor

who eats Republicans for breakfast?

Then I'll risk it until the Carnival's over. But,

how are you, Pascual? Let me look at you.

You've changed. Have you been ill?

My health has been excellent.

I hardly knew you without your uniform.

I suppose it's another one

of your famous adventures...

Capt. Pascual Castellar,

in search of a new beauty.

I've left the army, resigned my commission.

As for the ladies, my friend, for three years

I haven't even looked at a woman.

Enough of my affairs. What of yours?

Why don't you leave while you can

with safety?

Leave? I have an appointment this evening...

with the most beautiful creature

I've ever seen.

The advice may sound strange

coming from me.

I can't ask you to ignore the gentler sex.

Had I to live my life over again...

I'd probably do the same foolish things

once more, but, be careful, Antonio.

The boys in the Club

would laugh their heads off...

if they heard you were offering moral advice

to the young.

But while you're on the subject of advice...

do you happen to know a goddess

in this town by the name of Concha Perez?

The name is not unfamiliar to me.

She lives at the end

of the Plaza del Triumfo, doesn't she?

Yes. Anything wrong with her?

You mean to tell me

you don't know who Concha is?

Concha, the singer, the toast of Spain?

Is she the toast of Spain? Well, I'm in luck!

For the last five years I've known nothing

but gaol, exile and manifestos.

Apparently you don't like her, do you?

She's the most dangerous

woman you'll ever meet.

You must be mad to talk like that!

What's she done to you?

It's no pleasure

for me to talk about the past, but...

I was returning from a holiday in France

about five years ago.

My train ran into an avalanche.

We were snowbound for about three days.

[Train whistle blowing]

[Singing lively Spanish song]

[Speaking Spanish]

- Porter!

- I don't want a porter!

How about an address, Concha,

where I can write you?

Perhaps I can find time

to visit you someday.

What do you take me for?

Come now, stop this nonsense!

Where can I get in touch with you?

Mother says no flies enter a closed mouth.

As the devil would have it...

I was in town one day with nothing to do...

and joined some fool committee or other...

that was investigating labour conditions

in a cigarette factory.

I'd heard there were some pretty girls there.

[Bell ringing]

Now gentlemen, you've heard a lot of stories

about our cigarette factory.

They're not true.

Our girls are all well-behaved.

They earn a great deal of money...

and they wouldn't exchange their position

for any other on earth.

- Something in your eye?

- Not at all.

Now follow me and I'll show you

where we make our shipping cases.

- Do the girls make the shipping cases, too?

- Yes.

The Captain has an eye for the ladies,

hasn't he?

Well, of all people!

How did you get here, Concha?

The Lord knows, I don't remember.

Well, I never expected to find you

in a place like this.

I suppose you must make

quite a lot of money here.

If I work all week, I make enough money...

to bring some flowers to my mother

on Sunday.

- Living with your mother?

- Who did you think I was living with?

Do you know what that is, Concha?

Yes, that's gold.

That's more than I'll earn in a year.

It's yours if you'll sell me one of those

cigarettes you roll with your pretty hands.

Better take two,

in case you should become impatient.

Impatient? Why should I be impatient?

Because I want you to wait for me outside.

So you did wait, didn't you?

- Yes, I waited.

- I didn't think you would.

I know that you're an important person...

and your friends might not like to see you

in such company.

- Are you glad that I waited, Concha?

- Come and take me home!

[Hens clucking]

Here we are.

Quite a climb.

How does your mother get up here?

Mother can climb anything.

Look, Mamma, I've got a fish.

- How are you going to feed it?

- Don't worry about that, Mother.

Make the gentleman welcome.

He's my friend.

Capt. Castellar.

Charmed beyond words, seora.

Excellency.

Make this humble house your own.

What is the exact relationship

of this gentleman?

Your Excellency, a cousin.

And plenty of garlic. Is it paid for?

And sausage, Mother. Try it.

And look, Mamma. Gold!

- How did you earn all that, Concha?

- I earn anything? Don't be foolish, Mother!

Your Excellency,

if my poor husband were alive...

he has been in the enjoyment of God

for the past 15 years...

he'd have beaten her black and blue.

But don't be deceived by her language.

My daughter is a good girl.

We could be rich, my daughter and I.

We could have mules and necklaces,

and live in the country...

but wickedness has never spent a night here.

How I worry when I see my daughter leave

in the morning.

How can you say that, Mother,

when you sleep all day?

There!

You see what bad examples

these factory girls are!

All ugly words she must hear!

If my daughter had listened to them,

she would have gone wrong long ago.

What makes young girls go wrong,

Your Excellency...

is the advice of women, not the eyes of men.

There's a cure for all ills, seora.

Your Highness, how can I thank you?

I'll take care of that, Mamma.

I'll thank him. You don't need to bother.

I see.

Well, this will be enough for the rent...

- and this, the water, and this...

- The baker.

The baker and the doctor.

But I'm afraid there'll be hardly enough

to keep Concha out of the factory.

I understand.

Here!

And the landlord thought

that he was going to throw us out!

It's easy to see who runs this shop.

When the time comes

for a sweetheart to offer himself...

he'll have to talk to you

and not to your mother.

You don't happen to know of anyone?

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