The Diamond Arm

MOSFILM:

The Luch Artistic Association

THE DIAMOND ARM:

A screen novel in two parts

from the life of smugglers,

with prologue and epilogue.

Screenplay by

M. SLOBODSKY

Ya. KISTYUKOVSKY, L. GAIDAI

Directed by

Leonid GAIDAI

Photographed in the air, on the earth,

on the water and underwater

by Director of Photography

Igor CHERNYKH

Production Designer

F. YASYUKEVICH

Music by A. ZATSEPIN

Sound by Ye. INDLINA

Conductor - E. KHACHATURIAN

Lyrics by L. DERBENYOV

The Studio wishes to thank

the organizations and persons

that had provided for the shooting

real diamonds and gold.

This film has been photographed

by a half-hidden camera.

THE DIAMOND ARM:

Starring

Nina GREBESHKOVA

Nonna MORDYUKOVA

Svetlana SVETLICHNAYA

Anatoly PAPANOV

Andrei MIRONOV

Stanislav CHEKAN

Vladimir GULYAEV

Also starring

Ye. MELNIKOVA

A. FAIT, N. ROMANOV

G. SHPIGEL, L. KANEVSKY

And also...

V. OSTROVSKAYA, S. KHOLINA

T. NIKULINA, R. FILIPPOV

N. TROFIMOV, A. YACHNITSKY

L. POLYAKOV, G. KACHIN

Besides,

A. KHVYLYA, G. SVETLANI

A. KOZUBSKY, V. KUPRIYANOV

I. VASSILENKO

I. ZHEVAGO, V. URALSKY

And with

Sasha LISYUTINA

Mitya NIKOLAYEV

And at last...

With the participation of

YURI NIKULIN:

Part One

THE DIAMOND IS ALMOST INVISIBLE

We bring you a live broadcast

from our sea port.

This snow-white liner

is to depart on its next cruise,

carrying a large contingent

of Soviet tourists

on a very fascinating voyage.

- Hello!

- Hello.

What is your name, please?

Semyon Semyonovich Gorbunkov.

- And whats your occupation?

- Senior bookkeeper.

Is there something you would like

to say to our dear listeners

before leaving

for this fascinating journey?

As a matter of fact,

I didnt want to go.

I was about to buy my wife

a fur coat.

The fur coat can wait.

Its more important to see the world.

He works day and night...

The fur coat can wait.

So youve never before...

No. We never travelled farther

than Dubrovka.

Is it your first trip abroad, too?

- Im not going.

- Weve come to say goodbye to dad.

Fish Street. Thats an important

street there. The Chikanuk pharmacy.

Lyolik, I remember it all.

Everything you do must look very

real. You fall down and swear...

Damned apple!

No...Damned melon!

Keep that in mind!

The injury...

Everything should be true to life.

As our chief says, The most important

thing in our business is realism.

Happy landings, tourist!

No, dont...

Just go!

- Good morning!

- Good morning!

- Is this Cabin 16?

- Yes, its 16.

Are you bunking here, too?

Yes. Im Gennady Petrovich Kozodoyev.

Semyon Semyonovich Gorbunkov.

- I hope well become friends.

- Oh, I think so.

- Are you bringing along souvenirs?

- No.

- I have some here...

- Vodka?

MIKHAIL SVETLOV:

Day Seven

of this fascinating cruise...

I love the song

about hares.

Senya, its not topical,

about hares!

Island of Bad Luck!

All covered with greenery,

Absolutely, stark,

Lies in our itinerary

An island of bad luck.

There live the savages,

Poor, wretched guys,

Faces bear ravages,

But kind under disguise.

Whatever theyre doing,

It never goes right.

They must be born to ruin

On a very black Friday night.

Crocodiles not caught,

Coconuts wont grow.

They weep and pray to God

For days and days in a row.

They are no idlers,

They could have had a ball.

They ought to cancel Fridays

Once and for all.

But, alas, no calendar

On the isle, theres not!

Every living islander

Just goes for a naught.

But, alas, no calendar

On damn isle, theres not!

Thats why poor savages,

From early morn till night,

Counting their damages,

Lament over their plight.

The poor devils moan,

Cursing their fate.

What year is unknown,

As is unknown the date.

...Finally, here is the last

port of call

before returning

to their motherland...

Ladies and gentlemen, were now

in what is called the old town.

During the rule of the great

Emperor Shumunshin-Shah the Third,

on these heights,

the Imperial architects had built

a marvelous ensemble,

which included a palace, a mosque,

a 1,200-bed harem,

and many other... similar delights.

Have you gone crazy?

Somethings wrong.

She wants me to go and see.

Hey, no, no, impossible!

- What does she want?

- I'll tell you later.

Lady, Senora, Frau, Miss,

its out of the question.

Russo turista, capito, moralita!

Verstehen? Thats it!

But what does she want?

We are most grateful to you. It was

a very interesting excursion.

Attention, please!

Now everyone will be on his own.

You can walk around the town.

But at five oclock sharp,

everyone must be back on board.

See you later.

Guesha! Why are you leaving me

in the lurch?

I didnt leave you. I was waiting.

Lets go this way.

Wheres he?

Dont worry,

hell come.

- The password is Damned melon?

- Damned melon.

Are you sure hes on the SS

Mikhail Svetlov?

We were assured that he was.

The ship is leaving in an hour!

Shut up!

Sorry, I guess I lost my temper.

You know...

Guesha!

Excuse me, Miss...

Damned melon!

Damned melon!

- Russo?

- Yes.

- Mikhail Svetlov?

- Yes, yes.

Damned melon.

Damned melon...

Whats wrong with him?

Its a very bad sprain.

Hes even lost consciousness.

Lets get down to work.

Damned melon! .

Mikhail Svetlov...

Damned melon!

Damned melon!

Russo?

Mikhail Svetlov?

Why didnt you use your brains?

But the other one gave the password

too. Damned melon.

There follows an untranslatable play

on words

with the use of local idiomatic

expressions.

Comrades, its time!

The ship leaves in half an hour!

Those idiots claimed

he was unconscious.

So the poor fool has no idea

whats going on.

Thats perfect!

Whats this?

Nothing. Just contraband items

someones trying to smuggle in.

Dont worry.

Calm down... Drink some of this.

I never touch the stuff.

Havent you read about it in House

and Home? Doctors recommend it.

It will calm your nervous system

and soothe your arteries.

Drink up.

Captain,

what do I do now?

Nothing.

Just have fun and relax.

But dont breathe a word to anyone

about that contraband stuff.

And if someone wants to know

what happened to my arm?

Say you slipped, fell down

and got a closed fracture.

You were knocked out, and when you

came to, it was already in a cast.

I slipped, fell down,

a closed fracture.

I was knocked out,

I came to-a plaster cast.

And dont worry,

Ill notify everyone concerned.

Thank you very much.

Dont you remember a thing?

Be careful!

- Why? I remember very well.

- You remember what?

I slipped...

got knocked out.

When I came to, I had this cast.

Thats all!

- I wish I fell instead of you.

- Thanks. Thats nice of you, Guesha.

Please, take care of your arm, Senya.

Nadia is going to be upset.

Thats cest la vie,

as Frenchmen say.

Im sorry, friend!

Are you finished? Must I go already?

Yes, move along, youre in the way.

- Youre through with me?

- Thats right.

Could it be that the Captain didnt

notify the customs? What do I do now?

There he is! The stuff is safe.

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