The Dilemma Page #5

You know what I mean? Ronny,

she is doing her friend a favor.

It doesn't matter how painful the moment...

Mom, come on! Okay, Ronny, I got to go, I'm sorry.

Okay. Bye-bye.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Hello?

Nice disguise, Ronny.

Making it a woman on Jerry Springer? Bullshit!

I am not an idiot.

What?

You want to tell me Saul's cheating on me? Just say it!

Diane, listen. I don't think you understand

what I'm saying. I'm not saying anything about Saul.

I'm gonna kill him! You don't need to kill anybody.

I really thought I was done with choosing

men who were basically Dad.

I mean, who would even sleep

with that out-of-work slob?

Okay, Diane, listen to me, you're way overreacting.

How dare you tell me something

like this over the phone?

How dare you tell me this at all?

And screw you, Ronny!

You have always been a selfish little a**hole.

What? Why am I an a**hole?

(STUTTERING) F-you, Ronny!

Ah, geez.

NICK:
All right, now, that's a little

better. Where's the cross-over?

(CAR ENGINE REVVING)

Yeah, this is nice. This is nice.

WOMAN:
Hey, Ronny. What's up?

Ronny.

Can I talk to you for a second?

I was actually gonna run up here

for about the rest of the day.

Just one second, please. It's important.

(CLEARS THROAT) One second.

Come on.

Look.

I am so sorry.

I've been thinking too much about myself lately,

and I'm throwing tantrums because

a car is not loud enough.

So I have eight minutes.

Eight minutes? Yeah.

Yeah, I have a call at 5:00, with

Helmut Farber in Berlin.

He's going to give me some pointers

on throttle response.

So I have eight uninterrupted minutes

to talk about whatever it is you wanted to talk about.

Right.

Ronny, you have

seven minutes and 48 seconds to just chat.

(WHISPERS) Open up.

(CLEARS THROAT)

What I wanted to talk to you about...

Yes, Ronny?

...was proposing to Beth.

(STAMMERS) You didn't propose yet?

Why not?

Well, I wasn't sure that I found the

right exact place to do that.

Oh, come on. Ronny, come on, man.

You're just sabotaging yourself,

that's what you're doing here.

Don't you understand, once you

get into it, it's gonna be fine?

I'm telling you, you found the right...

What the hell is that on your arm?

What is going on?

I had an outbreak. (STAMMERING)

I broke out in hives everywhere.

(WHISPERS) And when I piss, it kind of burns, too.

MAN:
Ronny, Nick, your better halves are here.

Wow, now that is a sexy car.

Whoo! If only it were fuel-efficient.

Hey, sweetheart.

NICK:
Hey, honey, what are you doing

here? GENEVA:
Hey, sweetie.

Nice surprise.

I have a special night planned for you guys.

Hi, Nick. Hi, sweetie.

Yeah,

but I don't have time for a night,

honey. We're way behind.

Well, you're behind because you

guys are burning yourselves out.

You got to recharge the engine, get some perspective.

I don't think we have the time for perspective.

I don't know that tonight's a good

night for us to go do anything.

I know you don't want to celebrate,

because you guys haven't gotten a line yet.

So it's not a celebration.

We're just thinking maybe we could take a breather

to set the table for a possible potential celebration

sometime in the future. Yeah.

And, listen, I called here to talk to

you earlier, and I talked to Felix,

and he said things were getting pretty heated today.

I think you guys need a break, you know?

This is not a discussion. We are doing this.

And you, my friend, are going

to thank me for this later.

What happened to your face?

ANNOUNCER ON PA:
That was his second attempt.

Now, here is his third and final attempt

to win the round-trip airline tickets

anywhere in the United States.

You don't give yourself a nickname.

(PEOPLE CHEERING)

(BOOING) ANNOUNCER ON PA: Good

try by our second contestant.

Come on.

I've been trying to take that shot

for 10 years, they don't pick me.

They never pick me. I don't know what I got to do.

Our third and final contestant,

Jessica Hill from Park Ridge, Illinois.

Tell you one thing, if they did pick

me, I'm sticking it in the net.

That's a no-brainer, right there.

You know I was third in scoring at Ball State? Third.

They didn't cut anybody. It was a club team.

ANNOUNCER ON PA:
Good first attempt for Jessica.

Why you got to take away my accomplishments?

I'm not. No, you are, okay?

I'm a shooter, it's what I am.

Just deal with it, all right?

"Sniper." They called me "The Sniper."

I'm just saying, it's not that easy

to put in from center ice

into that big of a hole. It's not easy.

That's why a few of us can do it. I'm saying I can do it.

You know what... Have you ever done it?

No. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, though.

I'd put it in, believe me.

ANNOUNCER ON PA:
That was a wide to the right...

It's not a net.

It's a hole that's this big. It doesn't... Yeah, it's a big...

They know what they're doing.

They do statistics to make sure that

a certain amount of people miss it.

NICK:
I mean, I don't know how

much you've dealt with athletes.

I can see things differently.

Everything just comes to a blur.

It's like you're locked in maple

syrup, and you're moving slow

and you see things happening before they do happen.

(GRUNTING)

You guys, I'm gonna go get some

beer. Do you want anything?

No, no, babe. I'm good, thanks.

ANNOUNCER ON PA:
Blackhawks

penalty caller number 81...

(LAUGHS EXCITEDLY)

I'm gonna go help her with the

beers. I'm gonna get one.

You guys want anything? I'm good, thanks.

Pretzels, all right? All right. Yeah, pretzels.

(CROWD EXCLAIMS)

Boy, you've been on that all night.

(TIMIDLY) Hey.

I saw you yesterday.

You saw me where?

At the Botanical Gardens.

So?

I saw it all, Geneva.

The loser with the Dead Milkmen T-shirt.

Kissing him in broad daylight.

Okay, Ronny, I got it.

You got a great guy who's considerate to people,

and who cares about you, and

you're out running on him.

Don't put this all on me.

How dare you ambush me with

what you think you know?

What I think I know? I saw you

mauling the guy, Geneva.

Ronny, you don't know sh*t. You don't know sh*t.

You do not know what goes on behind

the curtains of a marriage.

Like the fact that he hasn't slept

with me for over six months.

Don't stand there and start talking nonsense to me.

No, you know what? Are you serious?

How about the fact that every

Thursday night after work,

Nick goes to Pilsen, to a massage parlor,

where he gets wanked by a

who speaks four words of English! How about that?

I don't believe a word you're

saying right now. (SCOFFS)

Yeah, you're just covering your ass.

(CROWD CHEERING)

Listen to me.

Nick is my very best friend

in the entire world. I know.

And I am never, ever, ever going

to keep this from him.

Do you understand? So I'm coming to you now,

and I'm giving you an opportunity,

but you need to deal with this.

But it only happened because my husband

wasn't intimate with me! I'm not a marriage counselor.

I don't want to be a marriage counselor!

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