The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: Her Page #3

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your body hurts,

it's hot, it's cold,

you crave pickles,

and there's no words to describe

whatever the f*** labor is.

And then this

little stranger comes out,

sucking every bit of life

you have left in you,

and as soon as you're ready

to jump out of a window,

all of a sudden, he smiles.

Jesus Christ, this is good.

And whatever you do,

however you do it,

however you imagine

your child's life,

or what kind of parent you'd be,

29 years later,

he's in some shrink's office

accusing you of some stupid

thing that you said or did

that for the life of you, you

can't remember saying or doing.

Tell me at your age you're not taking

classes out of boredom.

I don't know what

the hell I'm doing.

What was before this?

Mm, life in general.

Any kids?

Mm-hmm.

Boy or girl?

Boy.

Good luck.

Thanks.

Who's that man who chased you

out of my classroom the other day?

He went soft, I stayed hard,

that was that.

Hey.

Guess what?

What?

I got asked out on a date.

Flaughsl

I look stupid.

You look beautiful.

Oh, don't be nice.

This... oh, f***, I don't understand

why this a**hole walked into my library.

- Katy...

Don't "Katy" me.

Oh, my God,

Mom and Dad

aren't even back yet.

Maybe I should just...

pull the plug.

No. He'll be here any second.

Calm down.

I'll watch him.

We're just going to pretend

to be interested in each other

over cheap cabernet,

and he's gonna, like, ask me

all the same stupid questions

that they ask about Philip,

like who the dad is, and then

look at me like I'm half a moron

for the choices that I've made.

You know, it was easier

when I was an actress,

because I could

just f*** my costars,

but this real-life

pseudo-adult crap sucks my ass.

Katy, shut up.

I feel fat.

You're not fat.

You were always...

who you were gonna be,

I mean, like a woman.

I always... wasn't yet.

Then I was a fraud.

Sometimes I hardly

recognize you with that hair.

Mm.

That's gorgeous.

Goddamn it!

Uh, excuse me?

Hey, come in here.

What was that?

This keeps breaking off.

OK, but we don't say that, lovey.

Why?

'Cause it's not

a nice thing to say.

Are you sure that you're

OK to watch him?

Mom and Dad should

be back pretty soon.

He's here.

- Are y... you sure?

- Yes, I'm positive.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Change.

So, what do you want to do?

What do you want to do?

Hurry.

I'm coming.

Can I get electrocuted

by lightning bugs?

No. They're harmless.

This is pretty good, isn't it?

Yeah, it is.

H9)'-

Hmm?

There's only one heart

in this body.

Have mercy on me?

Shut up.

Want to go to your place?

Yes, please.

I'll tell you what.

- What?

- You make the first move,

and then I'll follow you,

'cause this is...

this is too nice.

Hey, can we drive

somewhere aimlessly?

Yeah.

Right now?

Vvheneven

Can we do it this weekend?

Yes.

Where do you want to go?

No destination.

Just rent a car.

We can sing along to whatever

stupid songs are on the radio.

We'll just drive pointlessly

until we feel like stopping.

What would we do then?

Mm, I don't know,

eat something, walk somewhere.

Use your imagination.

Well, I... well...

Your other imagination.

- I have a pretty dirty imagination.

- Stop!

Come on.

Hey, Rigby?

What?

I love you.

It went that badly?

I could've given him

a normal kiss good night

instead ofjamming

my tongue down his throat.

So he's cool?

I am so f***ed.

You have a little

to drink tonight?

Yeah.

- What's that?

- Shh.

Philip gave it to me so I won't

be afraid of the dark.

You still having trouble with that?

Yeah, guess so. Come on.

Were you OK with him?

Yeah.

Oh, I don't mean...

That's not what I was...

I just...

I'm OK.

Is it OK to be OK?

Yeah, be OK all you want.

Are you really OK?

I can pretend.

All of a sudden, I kind of miss him.

Who?

Conor.

He came by the house the other day.

He talked with Mom,

and... she told me not to tell you.

I'm sorry, Katy.

What for?

I feel like I just dropped in

on you guys

and I sucked all the air

out of the room.

You are kind of a selfish b*tch.

Hey. You don't have

to be so honest.

No.

I was really mad at you.

I know.

I'm still really mad at you.

I know.

And you pulled the floorboards

out from under Conor.

He threw Cody's stuff

into the closet.

And then ten minutes later,

he ordered Chinese from Madame Wu's.

I tried for six months.

We were a million miles away

in the same room, and...

...I started to think thoughts

I never thought I'd have.

How have you and Mom

made it this far?

I'm not sure.

Endurance.

Everyone starts out thinking,

"This is forever. "

But then things get hard...

...at some point or another.

And then other things don't pan out

the way you thought they would.

I suppose the trick is

not running for the hills,

even when you think it's the

most rational thing to do.

I don't know.

I hate this room.

I've seen worse.

Where?

- Huh?

- Where have you seen worse?

NYU, Yale...

Oh, Yale's butt ugly.

New Haven's butt ugly.

Did you attend any of

those fine institutions?

NYU, and then I grew up at Yale

when my dad was there.

Oh, of course,

you're a faculty brat.

Mm-hmm.

You and my son would

get along like hotcakes.

Not that I'm trying to

set you up or anything.

He lives in Washington,

the state.

He's been pretending to write a novel

there for the last four years.

Learn anything

interesting at NYU?

I abandoned a dissertation.

- Mm! Bold!

- Mm-hmm.

What department?

Anthropology.

Mm. Social? Linguistic?

I was writing an ethnography

on the social world

of performance artists in Paris.

Musicians, dancers, actors, et cetera.

Why?

I don't know;

my mom is a musician

and she's French, so...

No, I mean why did

you abandon it?

Don't tell me something

stupid like love.

You're very talkative.

It's more fun

listening to you.

You'll get over that.

L 90t pregnant.

Ah, that.

You want to teach this class?

Not really.

Me neither.

I'm gonna do this.

This song is horrible.

It's not good.

It's not.

I th... I think that bad music

turns you on.

Seriously.

Oh, oh, car, car, car, car, car.

Do the thing! Do the thing! Do the...

I don't want them

to see your ta-tas.

We're good, we're good.

Help me.

What?

You know what you're doing.

Stop it.

There you go.

- Should I do it?

- Yeah.

OK, this is kind

of counter-intuitive.

Flaughsl

I think I'm instinctually wired

not to be able to do this.

There we go.

Three, two, one.

Just like that.

You look good.

Very impressed.

We have to listen to this?

Hey!

You want it? You want it?

Top 40?

No.

Country?

No.

That is the stupidest thing

I've ever heard.

Flaughsl

My God.

No, that's...

No.

- Can I have some?

- J' Thank God...

- Baby?

- Mm-hmm?

As comfortable as this is...

Mm-hmm?

...I'm losing circulation in my legs.

- What are you trying to say?

- That you're fat.

And I love every pound of you.

- Oh!

- Come here.

Mmm.

Did you see where my shirt went?

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