The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: Her Page #5

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Lived every day like

he won the lottery.

Where's Miles when we need him?

Somewhere in Pennsylvania.

Took him on a road trip,

trying to be all Travels with Charley.

As soon as we hit

the open countryside,

he starts jumping up and down

like he picked up a scent

or found something he'd

always been looking for.

Let him out.

He hightails it,

chasing the sun to nowhere.

He ran away?

Mm-hmm.

I imagine he's happy

wherever he wound up.

Hooked up with some Amish people.

Lives on a dairy farm.

It's possible.

I have a colleague at NYU.

From my days of working

with your dad there.

Teaches anthropology at the

American University in Paris,

does some work at the

Musee de Quai Branly.

I can make a phone call.

Send him that dissertation

you started on.

Want half a bagel?

No, I'm good, I'm good.

You getting enough to eat?

You're starting to sound maternal.

Oh, that would be a first.

When's the last time you got

to talk to your son?

Some holiday too long ago.

Is it sad that I don't remember?

Probably.

I should call, shouldn't I?

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

Now you sound maternal.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

H9)'-

Do I seem like a

different person to you?

You look the same to me.

I'm sorry.

For what?

For disappearing.

We'll never get

to where we were.

Where was that?

Someplace good.

Yeah.

Tell me what you're thinking.

I forgot what he looked like.

Sometimes I... I'll get

a glimpse of his eyes or...

...the way he'd smile

at me from his crib.

But then he'll vanish.

I can't picture his face.

I can't picture his face anymore.

He was pale.

He frowned a lot.

He had your eyes,

he had your nose,

he had your... your lips,

he had your cheeks.

El, he was all you.

He was the most beautiful thing

I've ever seen.

Flaughsl

I wasn't prepared for

what this feels like.

I know. Neither was I.

I love you.

I know.

How's it coming?

It's coming.

There's a great cafe...

called Le Cafe

at the Rue Tiquetonne

that a lot of artsy fartsies go to.

Your mother and I used to go there

when we visited her parents.

I met Jean Marie Le Clezio there once,

before he won his Nobel.

Cool.

And you should get

some of those big French macaroons

at Laduree in Saint-Germain.

Call me when you do.

And I will live vicariously

through you.

I will. Thanks.

I lost you in the ocean once.

What?

I lost you in the ocean once.

We had rented a house at

Ditch Plains Beach on Montauk,

when you could afford Montauk.

You were about two.

Your mother was pregnant

with Katy,

and I took you down...

swimming...

one afternoon.

Not a lot of people down there.

I...

I waded out, holding you...

...thinking, at one point,

"This might not be the best idea. "

But you were game.

Or I imagined that you were game

because you never,

ever seemed scared.

Of anything.

The Atlantic is moody,

and a big set of waves snuck in.

We... made it under the first one.

You were clinging to my neck.

But we got caught

in front of the second.

And I came up without you.

I have never felt

anything like that.

The throes of that stupid

couple seconds...

treading the white water.

And then, miraculously, I...

...felt you at my feet.

I never told your mother.

I never told anyone.

That was the worst

and the best moment of my life.

OK.

Is this ready?

Yeah.

- I'll be downstairs in a bit.

- OK.

What have you got?

Chardonnay.

- It's good, huh?

- Mm-hmm.

You know that I'm full of sh*t, right?

Depends on the day.

But you know that I love you, hmm?

Say good-bye to Aunt Em, OK?

OK:

Good-bye, chickadee.

You make sure that they behave, OK?

- OK.

- OK, kiss.

What time is it in France?

Um, it is past your bedtime.

Why?

Don't be a stranger.

I won't.

I don't want to go to bed.

It's still light out.

You don't have to go to bed, sweetie.

Be good, OK?

I'll be back.

When is Auntie Em coming back?

She'll be back next summer.

Hey.

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