The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: Him Page #2

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Um... no, I don't.

I'd appreciate it if you'd

get away from my door now.

That's brutal.

Yeah, that is, uh...

that is brutal, man.

Maybe she wants you to go after her.

No. She doesn't.

Maybe wait a couple of days,

then go after her?

Stu, don't.

Well, I guess...

it was gonna happen...

sooner or later.

- Shut the f*** up.

- OK, I'm sorry,

I don't know what to say.

What am I supposed to say?

You don't have to say anything.

Just... just shut up,

drink and... talk

about the weather.

Hey, uh, the dude at table two

says he's gonna kick your ass

if he doesn't get

his chicken satay soon.

Well, he can suck my balls.

Well, maybe you

should tell him that yourself.

- Table two?

- Mm-hmm.

I'll deal With it.

Hey, we're out of beer.

What? How can we be out of beer?

We got two boxes back there.

Go and check...

You don't throw sh*t in my place, man.

- What's your problem?

- Where's our f***ing food, man?

- Listen, don't threaten my chef.

- OK, calm down.

Don't tell me to f***ing calm down.

Hey!

If you threaten my chef again, I will

dropkick you out of the f***ing door.

- Are you f***ing kidding me?

- Hey, come on!

Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

You are gonna pay.

- Conor, Conor, buddy, you all right?

- Get the f*** out!

- F*** you!

- Yeah, f*** you, man!

Nice comeback. Very nice.

Get out of here. You, too.

Get out.

You forget your stupid sunglasses, too?

Fuckhead?

Maybe we should consider

hiring a bouncer.

Can't afford a bouncer.

It's all right.

Cops were good publicity.

Yeah, and there were, like,

40 bystanders out there.

Well, I appreciate the optimism, guys.

Sometimes the worst actions

produce the, uh, best results.

Sometimes they don't, Stu.

Oh, my God, you guys sound

like my grandparents.

Wait, do you want a Advil or something?

No, no, I'm good, thank you.

And you know, you don't have to

keep up the bogus compassion.

- It's all right.

- That's a bit aggressive.

Well, did you not just

see what went down?

- Yeah.

- I'm kind of in a shitty mood.

Oh, well, we're adapting.

You know what,

you guys should go home.

- I got this.

- Sure?

Yeah, you should go.

- You got your stuff?

- Uh, yeah.

- My bag's back there.

- Your bag...

Uh... yep.

- You sure? I'm going...

- All right, let's go.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Have a good night.

- Good night.

- You sure you're all right?

I'm good.

Thanks for being a tough guy.

You have reached a

number that is no longer in service.

- Please check the number...

- Sh*t.

...and try your call again.

Thank you.

Hello?

' Mary?

' Yes?

It's Conor.

Is El there?

Hello... Hello?

Hello?

Hi'-

I thought I could, um...

I thought I could stay here

for a little bit.

Hi, Ralph.

You know where the guest bedroom is.

Yup.

There's towels in the closet

in the hallway.

Not much in the fridge.

Got some Cheerios.

That's fine with me... I can...

I can go get some stuff.

That's easy.

Well, I got to get to the restaurant.

- OK.

- Good night.

Night.

I have no clue where she's going.

She turns off her cell phone,

and like that, she's vanished.

And... does that make sense to you?

- No comment.

- Come on, knock it off.

No, no, you know, whatever...

what do you call it,

I plead the Fifth.

Like, I tried to be helpful,

I pretended,

but it didn't work out,

so I'm not gonna do that.

All right, look, I realize

that I've been a little...

off-balance lately,

but I think with hindsight,

I'm learning to deal

with it better.

A couple of weeks counts

as hindsight?

F***in' A, Stu.

I got nothing for you.

Come on, come on.

Look, I, I'm just asking you

a simple question.

You don't have to candy-coat it

like you're gonna hurt my feelings,

but... did you see this coming?

Look, with the exception of my dog,

I haven't slept next to the same person

for more than two or three days in a

row, so I don't know what I'm gonna say

that's gonna be relevant

to your situation.

I opened a restaurant for you, a**hole.

No, you opened a restaurant for you,

a**hole.

And according to the Village Voice,

it's "a bar with uninspired food. "

Whatever. I fight for its life for you.

And by the way, I'm incurring the cost

of an extra waitress because, I quote,

"She looked at me the right way. "

And I thank you for that.

- Has it happened yet?

- It's...

- It's gonna, yeah.

- Whatever.

Look, I'm not looking

for some psychoanalytical,

New-Agey bull.

I... I'm simply asking for

my best friend's opinion,

even it is an uninformed piece of crap.

OK.

"We are young. "

Uh-huh.

"Heartache to heartache, we stand.

No promises, no demands.

Love is a battlefield. "

Pat Benatar.

You're a f***ing idiot.

Look, I feel like I walk

on eggshells around you.

You know? Uh...

I tried to talk to you

about this for months...

I'm not talking about that.

This is what I'm talking about, man.

I don't know how to be

your friend anymore.

You know, you're no f***ing picnic.

So I'm just gonna...

I'm just gonna sit.

I'm just gonna sit here.

I'm just gonna be here.

And I'm not gonna say a thing.

I'm sorry.

OK.

But I'm asking you now.

Uh...

You guys not making it

makes sense to me.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

When someone flirts

with extinction...

...I think they got to do

whatever they got to do

in order to...

get their life in order.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

Look, I saw her the other day.

- You what?

- I saw her.

- Where?

- Astor Place.

- Did you... did you talk to her?

- No.

- You didn't talk to her?

- No. No.

She, she was, uh, she was far away.

She was walking away.

She was going to class or something.

Class?

Yeah. She had her book bags

with her or something.

- She was going to class.

- What school?

Like NYU or Cooper Union or...

- I don't know!

- The New School?

I don't know.

It's not hard to find out.

- Why didn't you tell me?

- I just did.

What are you guys talking about?

- You.

- Oh...

Hi'-

OK?

Um...

I'm not here to approve...

or disapprove... just so you know.

Hm?

Your mother always gave me crap

for never stepping up to the plate.

Uh... OK. What?

She said I never stepped up.

Uh, I'm sorry, what does that

have to do with anything?

Well... you're a bit like me.

No, I'm not.

No, I'm f***ing not.

I stepped UP-

OK. So what else?

Nothing.

Nothing. We don't have to keep talking.

Yeah, but you're the one

who came into the room.

Yeah, to turn down your stupid music.

Oh. Every day...

I do one thing that makes me happy.

All right? One thing...

and that is I...

listen to my stupid music

while reading the stupid paper.

And that's the best way

I've found to deal with myself.

SO just

back to the... guest room

and count the f***in' raindrops.

"Count the f***in' raindrops"?

I was never very good

at this kind of thing.

OK.

It isn't your job to investigate

the expansive memory

that's called "the past"

and judge what is right

and what is...

Seriously, what the f***

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