The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: Him Page #4

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until, uh, in the end,

I just had to walk out.

I'm sure that happens

to a lot of people.

On the road to senior citizenship.

Yeah. Yeah, you are.

On a clear day, I can see the end

of my life staring me in the face.

You know, it's f***ing bizarre,

one day, you turn the corner

of your street

and everything's changed,

but you never saw it happening.

It's like it's all been

sucked up into some kind of...

cosmic vacuum cleaner.

You're the same age now

as I was when you were born.

Now, that's freakin' absurd.

Where are you going with this?

I'm not going anywhere with it.

My slut of a wife left me

gathering dust on the couch,

and now the only thing

left to do is nothing.

Well, that's what you get for

marrying a woman half your age.

Aw, f*** you.

F*** you, man. F*** you.

Seriously, don't lay this "owner of

a lonely heart" bullshit on me.

I...

I watched this happen.

She was just one in a long line

of arm candy I watched you

f***in' plow through

in the last, what, 17 years?

17 years since you got tired

of my mother, so, please...

It was, uh, it was pretty inevitable

you were gonna age out of it.

Do you think I enjoy

feeling like an a**hole?

Yeah, it kind of seems like it.

You know, I was warming up

to try and tell you something nice.

Yeah?

Go ahead.

We all know a little

something about sadness.

Or whatever you want to call it.

Yeah, well, I want to know

a little less about it.

Anyway, how's that supposed to be nice?

Have you talked to her at all?

- Shall we do this?

- Yeah.

Want to say a couple of

words for closure's sake?

Does that ever really close anything?

No.

Bye, Ralph.

Oh.

What the...?

I'm sorry.

I wasn't expecting you.

No, no, no.

No, I wasn't... wasn't expecting me,

either, so...

- Hi.

- Hey.

Is she here?

No.

Is, is she living here?

Do you want to come in for a second?

Would that be all right?

Yeah. Come in.

OK.

Thanks, Mary.

Are you sure you don't want

a glass of wine?

- No?

- No.

I probably shouldn't get started.

I started already.

Can I ask how she's doing?

I don't know,

to be completely honest.

As good as she can be.

Do I seem like

a different person to you?

Do you feel like a different person?

Yeah, kind of.

You look the same to me.

You know I didn't like you

when Eleanor first brought

you out here for dinner.

However long ago it was.

How long ago was it?

Seven years.

Seven years?

Yeah.

You sat there in the exact

same spot seven years ago,

with a glass of water because you were

afraid to have a drink in front of me.

This obnoxiously perfect kid who walked

off with my daughter's attention.

You grew on me, though.

Oh, well.

It's true.

Look!

I don't want to interfere

with your life,

or whatever she has to do,

but I can't...

I can't just chalk this up to destiny.

I walked on with my life because...

moving forward was,

was the only way to go.

I guess people grieve differently.

I wish there was some appropriate,

articulate thing to say, but...

I just wanted the mundane

daily bullshit back.

I think Eleanor wanted something else.

And I think that, um...

...there was nothing appropriate

about any of this.

- I don't get it, man.

- What don't you get?

Well, your... your dad is, like,

the, like, a culinary maverick.

He's, like, the Mick Jagger

of the restaurant game.

All you got to do is make one phone call

and it saves our asses, but instead,

you want us to drown, like 90 percent

of the other restaurants in the city.

- I don't get it.

- Stu, Stu...

- Well, I... What did he do?

- What do you mean, "What did he do?"

Your dad, what did he do? I mean, at

least take a page out of his book.

- What did he do?

- He married my mom.

- What does that mean?

- That means he married my mom.

She gave him all the money her family

left her, and he opened the restaurant,

it was a big success, and then

he dropped her like a bad habit.

So, you know what?

Why don't you go and find yourself

some lonely, loaded old lady

- and then we can take it from there.

- Well...

You know what,

I'd rather fail catastrophically

than, you know,

give him the satisfaction

of thinking he handed me my life

on a platter.

That is the stupidest

thing in the history

- of stupid things to say.

- Whoa.

Why is that stupid? Why is that stupid?

You know what's stupid?

You think I'm gonna call my dad, and

he's gonna go, like, "Hey, son, yeah.

Why don't you come and bring your

friends, and they can work here, too. "

- Yeah.

- It's not a f***in' slumber party.

No, it's not a slumber... It's a job.

- Stu, as decent a cook as you are...

- I'm a chef.

All right, chef, you don't exactly

cut it in those kitchens.

Oh, relax. You don't want

to have this conversation.

- Let's talk about it.

- You don't want this conversation.

When's the last time

you julienned a carrot?

- You really want to have

- Seriously.

- This conversation? You really

- When's the last time

- want to have this conversation?

- you cooked an egg

- You really want to have

- and you didn't blanch the yolk?

You know, in those kinds

of kitchens, in that world...

...this conversation?

I've been pulling my weight fine.

- ... you would be a busboy.

- You're the one...

- You fuckhead. F***ing failure.

- Yeah, no. I'm telling you, man.

You know what,

those stupid glasses out there

- need picking up.

- F*** you.

You like that?

- F***ing a**hole.

- Wait, whoa!

You hit me with f***ing kale?

That all you got?

Come on.

Oh, God! Jesus. Ow!

Ow, ow!

Roll!

OK, OK, yeah, yeah.

This is what you want?

Is that a joke?

No, I think they're really going at it.

We're not quite open yet.

Are you all right?

I was third in my class.

The New York Academy of

Culinary Arts, you fuckhead.

I know that, a**hole.

Call me "chef. "

I love our little set-up here.

I do.

Just, the lease has gotten

prohibitively expensive,

and unless you want

to camp out in the kitchen...

OK. I'll... I'll bring

the sleeping bags.

It's just... time to let go.

Time to grow up.

I am grown up.

lam.

Fine.

When do we call it quits?

End of next week.

Can we have one last banger

before we... close shop?

Yeah.

Can we abuse some heavy narcotics?

Whatever tickles your thing.

Good.

I'm sorry.

Blow me.

OK.

Yeah, it's amazing.

So you're well?

I'm OK.

- Good.

- Yeah.

I'm just painting, and...

here, and... you know,

- that same stuff.

- Hey, hey, hey.

Sorry.

Holy Shatner.

Nice to see you, too, Stuart.

Well, this is nice.

Like old times,

reconnecting and all.

- I'm gonna go to the kitchen.

- Yeah.

I will join you.

- Shirley Temple?

- Please.

What do I owe you?

Your money's no good here.

You know that.

OK.

Business is good?

It's great.

We're closing.

- I'm sorry.

- Yeah.

Yeah, me, too.

So, what's next?

I don't know.

I, I thought I might...

develop some interests in things

that people actually take

an interest in.

You gonna work with your dad?

Hmm?

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