The Disaster Artist

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1

If you were to ask the five

best filmmakers in

the world right now

to make a movie like this...

it...

it wouldn't even be

in the same universe.

I was blown away.

Like, like three minutes into it,

I figure this is

the f***ing greatest movie

I've ever seen in my life.

It has withstood, like

ten years?

And people are still watching a

movie and talking about a movie.

People aren't doing that about

whatever won the Oscar for

best picture ten years ago.

What genius is behind this?

Tommy wanted to break

Tommy wanted to break

barriers in filmmaking.

I think that he had a

very clear vision.

He is a figure of mystery

where, you know,

you do wanna learn

more about him.

Who is this man?

Who is this auteur?

The kind of sheer ambition of it...

is...

is in-incredible.

The numbers probably prove

how unlikely it is

that you'll make it.

If I had a time machine,

I wouldn't go do a

bunch of stu-- uh,

stuff you-- I would go back

and try and

get on that set just to watch

and feel what it was like

'cause it has to be...

unbelievable.

We'll hang ourselves tomorrow.

Unless 'Gah-dow' comes.

And, and if he comes?

We'll be saved.

Well?

S-shall we go?

Pull on your trousers.

What?

Pull on your trousers.

You want me to

pull off my trousers?

No, I want you to stop.

Stop.

Jesus, that was painfully

unremarkable.

Rob, y-you're like a robot.

Yeah.

And it's God-oh.

Sorry.

And Greg...

you were so scared

and so insecure.

you're like a-like a

wounded puppy.

Do you even

want to be an actor?

Yeah, m-more than anything.

Okay, well, it must be a big secret

because I can't tell at all.

You've been coming to class

for about two months now?

And um...

You need to-

to loosen up, and relax!

You've got to really

just expose yourself

or no one's ever gonna care.

Okay, Greg?

Yeah, okay.

Okay. Thank you.

Okay, who here can really

reveal themselves to the class?

Anybody?

I go.

Great.

What do you have for

us today, Thomas?

It Tommy.

Always Tommy.

You, come on with this scene.

Okay.

What are we doing?

Do you know--?

Just go with it.

Stella...

Stella...

Stella!

Stella!

Stella!

Stella!

Stella!

Stella.

Stella!

Stella!

Stella!

Stella!

Don't ever leave me, baby.

Uh...

Thank you. For. That.

Uh, hey!

Uh, e-excuse me...

Tommy?

Hey.

Um, I'm-I'm Greg.

Yah.

I see you in there.

Um, I was-I was just

wondering if you maybe wanted

to do a scene together.

You wanna do scene with me?

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

No blitzing!

- Pass!

- Hit it, hit it!

Yeah! Come on, boy!

Uh-huh! What you got?

Oh, hey, hey, car, car,

sidewalk, sidewalk.

Come here!

Yeah!

Hey, ju- uh,

give me a second, guys.

Hey.

All your friend little kid?

Yeah, nah, I was-

I was just waitin' for you.

Okay, get in.

Oh, I-I thought we were just

gonna do it at my place?

No, I have to eat.

Don't worry, I know great place,

you'll love it.

Oh, okay.

And bring football.

Sure.

All right, I'm gonna-

I'm gonna go, guys.

I'll see you guys later.

Nice car.

Why you pullin'?

No, just, you know, none of my

friends have a car this nice.

'Cause all your

friend little kid.

You know, I

just mean it's expensive,

It's nice,

that'-that's all.

Don't talk about me.

Do what?

What I drive.

What I say, what I do.

Don't tell anybody.

You understand, yeah?

Yeah. No, I-I won't.

'Kay.

And don't look at robot crab.

He's shy.

Bye, little kids.

So.

Why you bring me here?

Wh-what do you mean?

Scene partner.

That joke?

No, not at all.

Then what, Greg?

I don't see point.

Okay, um.

All right, listen, when um, when I...

When I get up on stage

in front of people...

It's like all I could

think about is uh...

"what if-what if they

laugh at me? Or

if I embarrass myself?"

Mm-hmm.

Um, but you, man,

you're like

f***ing fearless!

And I just--

I-I wanna feel that too.

I just, I want--I want that.

- Okay.

I want what-

what you have

and I just--

I-I figured I could

I could learn something from you.

That's-that's it.

Oh, alright.

Yeah.

Let's do scene.

Oh, you wanna-

you wanna do a scene here?

Are you not dedicated actor?

I'm dedicated, I just, there,

you know, there's people eating,

I just don't--

I don't care about these people.

Come on, you have to do it.

Uh, okay, yeah.

I'll play the man,

"The Lightning Rod Man",

and you play this

other one with the Z.

Uh, Zachariah, Zachariah.

-Yeah.

-Okay.

Good day, sir!

Um.

Good day.

Come on,

you have to be louder!

Tommy, it's just, I'm--

Don't worry about these people!

There only you

and there only me.

Now do it.

Project!

Okay, okay.

Good day, sir!

Okay, uh, um.

Don't be weird.

-I'm, uh...

-Just do it.

I'm sorry, uh...

Uh, have I the honor,

a visit

from the illustrious

-god, Jupiter Tonans?

-Okay, that's good.

-Keep going!

-All right.

-It's great.

-Uh, so, uh...

So stood-stood he in-

in the Greek statue of old,

grasping the lightning bolt.

Yah?

-Uh, if you be he,

-What he do it?

or his viceroy, I-I have to

Okay, that good.

I have to thank you for

this noble storm you have

brewed among our mountains.

Okay, it's great.

Now, we're on top a mountain.

The rain pouring,

wind going...

Whoo-woo.

And the lightning, everything.

Okay.

A very fine rod!

I dare say!

And what are these

particular precautions of yours?!

Close yonder shutter!

The slanting rain

beating through!

Come on! Come on!

-All right, uh.

-Mountain top, right now!

Is rain, it wind going...

Are you-are you mad?

Uh, know you not that, uh, yon

yon iron bar is a

swift conductor?!

Pray, touch the bell,

pull there.

Uh.

Uh, are you frantic?

Are you frantic?

Never touch bell-wire

in a thunderstorm!

Oh, wow.

Nor ring a bell of any sort!

Wow!

How this guy?!

Wow!

Thank you.

Wow, everybody got lucky today.

You don't have to pay

for this performance.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Very much.

Tommy, that felt

f***ing amazing, man!

There you go,

now you're acting, Greg.

I would like Shakespeare.

Whoa.

How uh, how often

you play football, Tommy?

I love football!

You love it?

It's nice to play.

Yeah, I agree.

Great American game.

Okay.

Got it here.

You ever been to

Los Angeles?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, once uh,

when I was little.

And my mom took me

down there.

It's like, best two

days of my life.

Los Angeles...

everybody want to be star.

All the pretty boys.

They're lining up

for the big shot.

Just uh,

just have to get lucky,

I guess.

No.

No.

It's not luck, Greg.

Greg, you have to be the best.

You have to be

the best you can be.

And never give up.

Whoa.

What are you--what are we

doing here? What?

Okay.

All right.

Touchdown!

Touchdown!

-Touchdown!

-Touchdown!

This is a cool f***ing

building, man.

How long have you lived here?

Must ask you again,

don't talk about me.

Not to class...

not to anybody.

Yeah, no, of course.

This is it.

Okay.

Come in.

Can go in there.

Maid on vacation.

Wha-?

Uh, Tommy, where uh,

where you from?

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