The Distinguished Gentleman

FADE IN:

1 A FLASH OF LIGHT 1

A radiant shiny something dazzling in EXTREME CLOSEUP.

BEGIN TITLES.

CAMERA very slowly PULLS BACK. The sparkling surfaceturns out to be a lot of carats. WE SEE the stone, then

the ring, then suddenly, in b.g., something HUGE SWEEPSby. REVEAL a mechanical claw above the ring, hangingfrom a crane. The ring sits in a sea of tiny dolls,

joke eyeballs, and other carnival junk.

The claw descends on the ring again and again, sometimescatching it for a moment then tragically dropping it -accompanied

by OOHS and AAHS (O.S.) of hope and disappointment.

INTERCUT with the HANDS of a young black manworking the controls. The EYES of a young black womanwatching him work. Another guy's HANDS digging in hispocket for change. QUARTERS going into the slot.

MAN'S VOICE (O.S.)

This'll never work, Tommy.

TOMMY (O.S.)

Be positive, Armando. Course it will.

The claw inadvertently snags a rabbit's foot.

TOMMY (O.S.)

Look. See what a lucky f*** I am?

WOMAN'S VOICE (O.S.)

He don't mean the ring, hon, he

means the whole plan.

TOMMY (O.S.)

So do I.

The claw catches the ring and closes on it. QUICK CUTS

of their FACES as the crane rises. A very pretty lady.

A beefy Latino with a two-day beard. Their apprehension.

Tommy's confidence. Then his exceptional smile. He getsthe ring.

2 INT. PENNY ARCADE - DAY 2

TOMMY:

Okay -- one down, one to go.

(returning to theclaw)

You got quarters, Loretta?

END TITLES.

THE DISTINGUISHED GENTLEMAN - Rev. 4/3/92 2.

3 EXT. FLORIDA LUXURY HOTEL - DAY 3

Palm trees. The smell of money. Valets in ForeignLegion khakis greeting arriving luxury cars.

4 INT. HOTEL FUNCTION ROOM - DAY 4

A big crowd of GUESTS at a cocktail reception. A lot

of lime jackets, cherry trousers, and blue hair. People

wear name tags.

ON Tommy, in pastel bow tie and full waiter drag, confirming

orders for a group of guests. He speaks in aPRISSY, OVER-SOLICITIOUS VOICE:

TOMMY:

That's a diet ginger ale, an extra-

spicy virgin mary no salt, a club

soda -- good choice -- a lime

rickey, and a bourbon and a

planter's punch. Five people,

five drinks... it's Kismet!

Tommy turns away, looking toward the entrance to the

room.

5 INT. LOBBY - DAY - CLOSE SHOT - THE RING 5

glittering on Loretta's finger. LORETTA, stunning indesigner clothing and accessories, enters. Her looks

attract looks.

6 INT. FUNCTION ROOM - DAY 6

Tommy, maintaining his vantage point, repeats anotherorder, this time in a heavy CARRIBEAN ACCENT:

TOMMY:

That's a vodka tonic, a Pellegrino,

lime and no ice, a gin Gibson

straight up with ex-tra onions

-- I am also fond of de onions --

and a Chardonnary spritzer...also

with extra onions -- no, no, do

not worry, that is just a little

joke. There will be no onions

whatsoever in your spritzer!

He LAUGHS HUGELY, rather amused with himself. The guestsaren't.

GUEST:

You don't need to write it down?

(CONTINUED)

THE DISTINGUISHED GENTLEMAN - Rev. 4/3/92 3.

6 CONTINUED:
6

TOMMY:

Mr. Memory? Do not make me laugh!

He LAUGHS HUGELY, turns, takes two steps away and makesabsolutely no effort to get their drinks. He looks

toward the door.

7 INT. HALLWAY/ENTRANCE TO FUNCTION ROOM - DAY 7

Loretta approaches the function room, where pert DEBBIE,

wearing a JOHNSON FOR CONGRESS button, staffs a felt-

covered table. On a nearby easel, a photo of a silver-

haired Man with a legend in blue and gold: JEFF JOHNSON.

THE NAME YOU KNOW.

LORETTA:

(Eurotrash accent)

I'm not too late, am I, dear?

(extending a hand)

Hello, darling, Alma Preston,

how are you today?

DEBBIE:

Thanks for coming, Ms. Preston,

I'm Debbie Bartle.

(consulting a list)

Do we have your check yet?

Loretta pulls a Mont Blanc pen and a checkbook from herbag.

LORETTA:

No, honey, I don't think you do, wejust got in last night from ourplace in Barbados -- how much is it?

DEBBIE:

Five hundred a person. Barbados?

LORETTA:

(writing)

Yes, we're just down the beachfrom Mick Jagger and Jerry.

(looking up)

You wouldn't turn down a couple ofthousand, would you?

A pleased smile from Debbie. Loretta opens the checkbook,

flashing the immense RING in front of Debbie.

DEBBIE:

Um, that's a lovely ring.

(CONTINUED)

THE DISTINGUISHED GENTLEMAN - Rev. 4/3/92 4.

7 CONTINUED:
7

LORETTA:

Oh, thank you. I thought it mightbe a little gaudy...who should Imake this out to?

DEBBIE:

Johnson for Congress. It's not

gaudy, it's just...nice and big.

LORETTA:

That's my Carlos...I can't evenlook in a store window. We're

walking down this street in Rio,

we pass a jewelry store...I didn'teven turn my head and he's in theshop...

(holds up ring)

...$250,000. I said it's crazy...

but you know Carlos.

DEBBIE:

I wish I did.

ON Tommy watching Loretta. A Guest standing just behindTommy -- wearing MRS. ZEKE BRIDGES name tag -- watchesJEFF JOHNSON gladhand the room robustly.

MRS. BRIDGES

I hear they had him open for six hours.

ZEKE, a very fat cigar-smoker, marvels at Johnson's

appearance.

ZEKE:

(chuckling)

The sum' b*tch looks terrific.

Tommy, eavesdropping, joins Zeke's chuckle, which unfortunately

turns into a wheeze and then a cough. Zeke

turns to Tommy.

ZEKE:

How about taking our orders, son?

TOMMY:

Absolutely my friend! How can I

pleasure you?

ZEKE:

Bourbon straight up and a Perrierrocks for the lady.

(CONTINUED)

THE DISTINGUISHED GENTLEMAN - Rev. 4/3/92 5.

7 CONTINUED:
(2) 7

TOMMY:

Ah! Fire and ice! Wonderful!

But may I suggest you make that adouble sir? After all, so manyguests, so few of me -- who knowswhen I may be back?

ZEKE:

Sure, why not.

AT THE ENTRANCE LORETTA pauses before going into the room.

LORETTA:

You know where the powder room is, hon?

I should freshen my face before I go in.

DEBBIE:

It's just over there.

ON JEFF JOHNSON with his well-groomed wife, VERA, and abarrel-chested Man in full resort wear, wearing an OLAFANDERSEN name tag.

JOHNSON:

So how the heck are you, Olaf?

ANDERSEN:

I should be asking how you are, congressman.

Johnson pats his chest and smiles at Vera.

JOHNSON:

This old ticker never felt better.

ANDERSEN:

It's good to see you back on yourfeet, Jeff. We need you in Washington.

Inconspicuously, a pretty young redhead whispers to Vera.

This is JENNIFER, Johnson's Administrative Assistant

(his AA).

VERA JOHNSON:

How's that granddaughter of yours,

Olaf? Ready for the Olympics?

ANDERSEN:

She'll be thrilled you asked after her.

8

IN THE HALLWAY Loretta emerges from the Ladies' Room... 8

catches a spike heel... recovers her balance... thenfrantically searches her hands and clothes, SCREAMS,

and gets down on hands and knees.

(CONTINUED)

THE DISTINGUISHED GENTLEMAN - Rev. 4/3/92 6.

8 CONTINUED:
8

My God!

LORETTA:

My God! Oh my God!

Debbie rushes over to her.

DEBBIE:

What's the matter?

LORETTA:

(hyperventilating)

My -- my ring. My diamond. I took

it off in the ladies' room to wash myhands. I was just putting it on -I

must have dropped it.

DEBBIE:

(getting down)

Let me help you, we'll find it.

LORETTA:

Call Security!

9 IN THE FUNCTION ROOM Tommy maintains his watch onLoretta. Zeke Bridges taps Tommy on the shoulder.

9

ZEKE:

Hey, what about our drinks?

Tommy instantly assumes an ANGRY YOUNG STREET BLACKVOICE:

Yeah?

TOMMY:

What you want?

What?

ZEKE:

You already took our order.

TOMMY:

That wasn't me! You must be

thinking of Jamal. I'm Karim.

What you want?

ZEKE:

Bourbon straight up and a Perrierrocks.

Hunh.

TOMMY:

(snorts derisively)

He walks two steps...and once again makes no attempt toget the drinks. Zeke returns to Jeff Johnson.

(CONTINUED)

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