The Distinguished Gentleman Page #2

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ZEKE:

Don't get me wrong, Jeff. PyramidInsurance doesn't want special breaks.

I just think we ought to be able toset our own rates without Uncle Sam

sticking his nose in our business.

Johnson signals Jennifer to come over.

JOHNSON:

Do you know my AA? Zeke Bridges,

this is Jennifer, my AdministrativeAssistant. Zeke's been a

tremendous help to us. I'd like

you to listen to his view on healthinsurance.

JENNIFER:

I'd be very happy to.

ZEKE:

At Pyramid Insurance, we call ourapproach the Patient's Bill ofRights.

10

IN THE HALLWAY Loretta and Debbie are on hands and 10

knees, still looking. A pair of shoes comes INTO FRAME.

They LOOK up at a bullet-headed man.

BRUNO:

Ms. Preston? Bruno Handler, hotel

security.

LORETTA:

My ring! My ring! Oh my god...!

BRUNO:

Now just calm down, Ma'am... can youdescribe the ring?

LORETTA:

It's a diamond ring! A big diamondring! Oh my Christ!

She's frantic. Debbie takes Bruno aside.

DEBBIE:

I saw it. It's huge... it must belike eight carats. She says it wasa quarter of a million dollars!

Bruno turns back to Loretta, trying to calm her.

(CONTINUED)

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BRUNO:

Ma'am... calm down. Now, is the

ring insured?

LORETTA:

Of course it's insured! But you

know how it works -- if I report

it, they'll cancel me. And I don't

want another ring! I need this

ring! The ring Carlos gave me.

Bruno turns, speaks into the walkie-talkie he's carrying.

BRUNO:

Where the f*** is housekeeping? I called

for those d*ckheads ninety seconds ago.

11

IN THE FUNCTION ROOM the Guests have gathered to hear 11

Johnson speak. As Andersen introduces him, Tommy continues

eyeing Loretta.

ANDERSEN:

Now I won't run through Jeff's

record -- he's been in Congress

twenty years, and I've only got two

minutes. I'll just say this: When

those of us in pharmaceuticals, or

agribusiness, or insurance, or

(indicating himself)

utilities, or you name it -- when

we've needed him, Jeff's been there

for us. And we've been there for

Jeff, too -- we raised a hundred

thousand dollars today!

(APPLAUSE)

Without further ado, our man in

Washington, Jefferson Davis Johnson.

12

IN THE HALLWAY Debbie hears the APPLAUSE (O.S.). She 12

gets up.

DEBBIE:

I should be in there. Good luck,

Ms. Preston. I hope you find it.

She leaves. Loretta, mascara smeared, gets up, asdoes Bruno.

LORETTA:

I can't go in there like this. God!

Please... listen... I'll pay a ten

thousand dollar reward for anybody

who finds my ring. Just don't tell

Carlos!

(suddenly grim)

He'll kill me.

THE DISTINGUISHED GENTLEMAN - Rev. 4/3/92

9.

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IN THE FUNCTION ROOM, as Johnson takes questions, Tommy 13

slips out.

QUESTIONER:

What do you make of all this campaignreform business, Jeff?

JOHNSON:

Well, y'know Ernie... these days,

everyone's down on the politicalaction committees and so-called

special interests. But, heck, I

think you and Fran have a right toparticipate in our democracy inexactly the way you're doing today.

I'm in Congress to represent you.

I don't want any so-called reformto take that power away from you.

14

APPLAUSE (O.S.). IN THE HALLWAY Bruno issues orders to 14

two Maintenance Men.

BRUNO:

I want every heating grate opened andinspected. I want every airconditioning duct vacuumed. Do youunderstand what I'm saying?

AS he speaks, Bruno SEES Tommy pass through the hallway... spot something on the floor... pick it up... furtively

put it in his pocket... and walk rapidly toward thedoor to the kitchens.

BRUNO:

(running after him)

Hey, you! Waiter! Hold it rightthere!

Bruno puts an arm on Tommy. Tommy instantly assumes afrantic, wimpy, craven persona, along wth his CARRIBBEANACCENT.

TOMMY:

No! Please! Do not report me!

I will be deported!

BRUNO:

Calm down. What've you got in yourpocket?

TOMMY:

I told the CIA everything! I agreedto poison the pineapples! My greencard is in the mail!

(CONTINUED)

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BRUNO:

Stow it! I'm not Immigration, I'mhotel security. Now, what did youjust put in your pocket?

TOMMY:

Nothing.

BRUNO:

I'm warning you, flathead, get cutewith me and I will tear you asecond a**hole. Now a valuable

diamond ring is mising...

TOMMY:

Valuable?

We can almost see the light bulb click on above Bruno'shead.

BRUNO:

Very valuable. All right, I'llgive you a hunnert bucks for it.

TOMMY:

A hundred and five?

Bruno snorts agreement, goes for his wallet... Tommy goesgor the ring... then suddenly leaps back in a cringe!

TOMMY:

No! It's a trick! You will

call me a thief and send me back

and the Security Police will makeme stand on my head in the guanopit! I have seen such things onCNN!

Bruno snaps and GRABS TOMMY BY THE COLLAR.

BRUNO:

Jesus, I'm not trying to trick

you...

TOMMY:

No, no... it is a trap! I must

turn this over to police.

He starts to leave. Bruno grabs him.

(CONTINUED)

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BRUNO:

Listen, dipshit... a valuable ringis missing and there's thousandsof dollars in reward money waiting.

So you'd better fork over...

TOMMY:

How big is this... reward?

Another lightbulb.

BRUNO:

Um, five hundred dollars.

TOMMY:

You said 'thousands.'

Yeah. Right.

BRUNO:

A thousand dollars.

TOMMY:

No, no, no...you said thousands.

With an 'S'. This is plural.

This means "two or more thousands."

BRUNO:

(deep sigh)

Okay, you win. Two thousand.

Or more.

TOMMY:

Two or more.

Bruno's had enough -- his grip tightens around Tommy'sneck.

TOMMY:

Just making a point.

15 IN HOTEL LOBBY AT THE CASHIER'S DESK Bruno slides a

check to the Cashier, who counts a stack of bills.

Bruno picks up a house phone, dials.

15

16 INT. HOTEL ROOM - DAY 16

ARMANDO, still unshaven, answers the RINGING phone.

Hello?

ARMANDO:

INTERCUT with Bruno in the lobby.

BRUNO:

Hello, may I speak with Ms. Preston?

(CONTINUED)

THE DISTINGUISHED GENTLEMAN - Rev. 4/3/92

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ARMANDO:

She's in the bathroom. This is

Carlos. Can I take a message?

BRUNO:

(smiling to himself)

No, thanks, I'll call back.

ARMANDO hangs up the phone and exits the hotel room.

BRUNO crosses to the far side of the lobby, where Tommywaits inconspicuously. He gives him the money. Tommygives him ring.

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