The Distinguished Gentleman Page #10

INSERT:

Celia's hands print CELIA KIRBY. PRO BONO.

BACK TO SCENE - ON Tommy and Reinhardt talking with aLOBBYIST.

FOURTH LOBBYIST:

It's an informal breakfast. You

give us your views, we give you

bacon and eggs, plus a couple of

thousand dollar honorarium.

(winking)

For your favorite charity.

Tommy looks at Reinhardt, who explains.

REINHARDT:

The Tommy Johnson Foundation.

TOMMY:

(savoring the word)

Honorarium. I like that.

Loretta appears with a platter of food.

LORETTA:

Herring, gentlemen?

FOURTH LOBBYIST:

Uh, no thanks.

LORETTA:

Really? We've got it in cream sauce

and in wine sauce.

(CONTINUED)

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REINHARDT:

I think I'll pass.

Tommy steers her aside and takes a roll of soggy,

toothpick-impaled herring.

TOMMY:

What is this? Where's the cheese?

LORETTA:

The cheese guy didn't return mycall. So I called the guy at theAmerican Smoked Fish Institute.

She points at the food table. There's nothing but afew boxes of crackers and two huge mounds of herring -one

white, one pink. The centerpiece is a largesmoked fish, eyes staring accusingly.

TOMMY:

Oh, that's just wonderful. Sixtyheavy hitters drop in, and I'mfeeding 'em cat food.

He breaks off, as Celia comes into view in the doorwaybehind. Tommy picks her up on his radar.

TOMMY:

We'll talk about this later.

We follow Tommy through the crowd until he reaches Celia.

TOMMY:

Hi there. Glad you could make it.

So you're... Celia Kirby. That's

an extremely beautiful name. For

an extremely beautiful woman.

CELIA:

Wow! That's smooth. After ten

straight hours on my feet makingsmall talk and breathing cheapcigar smoke, that's exactly thekind of line I'm ready to fall for.

TOMMY:

Whoa, slow down.

CELIA:

Sure, sure, forget it. Can you justtell me, which one's CongressmanJohnson?

(CONTINUED)

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TOMMY:

What if I said... me?

CELIA:

Oh. I see. So tell me, Congressman,

just how deep is the sh*t I'mstanding in?

Tommy has to laugh.

TOMMY:

Don't worry about it. Why don'twe just start over again?

CELIA:

Celia Kirby. I'm the legislativedirector of Pro Bono.

TOMMY:

Ah. Pro Bon. That's an extremelybeautiful name. For an extremelybeautiful organization. Um... what

is it?

CELIA:

(amused)

We're a public interest researchand advocacy group. I'd like

to brief you on our priorities thissession. Can I call your AA to geton your schedule?

TOMMY:

Why don't you brief me over dinnertonight?

CELIA:

I want an appointment, Congressman,

not a date.

TOMMY:

Yeah, sure, we'll type it up on theschedule, it'll be an appointment,

except with wine and flowers on thetable.

CELIA:

No thanks. I really should be going.

TOMMY:

Won't you at least stay for a drinkand some herring?

(CONTINUED)

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CELIA:

I'm afraid I'm busy.

TOMMY:

Well then, can I tempt you with a

smelt?

CELIA:

No thanks.

(extending her hand)

Nice to meet you. I'll be in touch

with your office. I especially look

forward to hearing your view on

extending the sexual harassment law

to include congressmen.

TOMMY:

I love the way you say that.

She slips out through the sea of revelers.

79 EXT. CAPITOL - DAY 79

A fine Washington morning.

80 OMITTED 80

81 EXT. CAPITOL STEPS - DAY 81

Rep. ELIJAH MARSHALL, 50s, black, and a pain in Dodge'sass, is shaking hands and saying goodbye to someConstituents. Dodge approaches.

(CONTINUED)

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DODGE:

I heard in the steam room you'regoing to try to screw up my ethicsbill.

MARSHALL:

Not screw up. Amend.

DODGE:

Come on, Eli, your amendments don'thave a chance in hell to pass. Mybill isn't perfect, I know, butit'll pass. And the President'll

sign it.

MARSHALL:

"Isn't perfect"? Dick, your bill'sthe Incumbents Protection Act! How

can you even call it an ethics bill?

DODGE:

Because the public wants an ethicsbill! So that's what we call it.

MARSHALL:

But it's got no teeth! It won't

change a thing, and you know it.

DODGE:

Come on, Eli, you're a politician,

too. The less you're going to doabout something, the more you haveto talk about it. You know that.

They start walking.

MARSHALL:

I see. We close the bank, we

stop the rubber checks, we raisethe prices in the barber shop, westop fixing parking tickets, andabracadabra! We say we've cleanedup Congress. Well, I don't think

the American people want whatthis place has become.

DODGE:

That's the beauty of it! Theymust, Eli -- they keep re-electing

us.

MARSHALL:

Not anymore! This new Congress isfull of new faces.

(CONTINUED)

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DODGE:

Oh, I wouldn't read too much into

that. A few extra retirements, some

redistricting -- nothing more thanthat. It's still business as usual

up here.

Dodge takes his glasses from his pocket and wipes them.

DODGE:

I live in the real world, Eli.

Do you? What's unemployment upto in your district? Eightpercent? Eight-five?

MARSHALL:

Eight point six.

DODGE:

Power and Enterprise is about tofund a solar demonstration plant,

Eli. It could mean a whole lot to

a district -- new jobs, newconstruction -- that interest you?

MARSHALL:

You can't bribe me, Dick.

82 INT. DODGE'S RECEPTION AREA - DAY 82

Dodge and Marshall enter.

DODGE:

Eli, the people who elected you.

They sent you here to help them.

Don't you want to?

MARSHALL:

Not if it means supporting your bill.

All you want is the perfect platformto campaign for Speaker. Dick Dodge.

Mr. Clean. What a joke!

DODGE:

(undeterred)

Come on board, Eli.

(leaning in)

You know -- you can't save theworld if you can't save your seat.

Tommy enters. Marshall gives him a once-over and extendsa hand.

(CONTINUED)

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MARSHALL:

We haven't met. Eli Marshall.

TOMMY:

Tommy Johnson.

MARSHALL:

I know. The Florida upset. Well,

now that you're here, what areyou going to do with it? You

gonna feather your own nest, orare you gonna make something ofyour office?

TOMMY:

I plan to be as good a congressmanas all the others.

MARSHALL:

Exactly what does that mean?

TOMMY:

Well, ever since I got back fromNam, I've wanted to do somethingabout the rain forest -MARSHALL

No, do me a favor, don't tell me.

I try not to get depressed untilthe second week of a new

session.

DODGE:

(ushering Tommy intohis office)

Eli, you'll excuse us -- we have ameeting.

83 INT. DODGE'S OFFICE - DAY 83

DODGE:

Johnson, I'm the chairman of a

committee up here called Power andIndustry. We've got an open seat,

and I was wondering if you'dconsider filling it.

TOMMY:

Is this good news?

(CONTINUED)

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DODGE:

(tongue in cheek)

Well, it is a difficult assignment -look

at what we cover: energy,

health, telecommunications,

environment... the committee is

constantly beset by a swarm ofspecial interests. These are

powerful people, they've got all themoney in the world, and they'renot shy about using it.

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