The Divorcee

Tom, come on up here and pack this thing.

Let's get going.

I'll be right up.

Hurry.

Okay, I'm gonna put some

of these things in your bag. Can I?

Okay.

- Say, Helen?

- Yeah?

I have everything packed but my sweater.

May I put it in your bag?

You better leave it out.

It's a long ride back.

- It gets cold around midnight.

- All right.

Oh, we'll make New York by 10:30

if we get started on time.

- Three hearts.

- Five spades.

- Pass.

- Little slam in spades.

- Pass.

- I hope you make it.

Your ex-husband says he divorced you

because of overbidding.

Yeah? Well, you take it from me,

my ex-husband's ex-wife divorced him

because he sang in his bathtub.

You ought to double six spades,

Dr. Bernard.

Huh?

Come on, Dot. Get hot. Step on it.

Loosen up, Dot. Loosen up.

This is a foxtrot, not an Australian crawl.

Looseness is your specialty, not mine.

Oh?

No, no. Open your clubs. Open your clubs.

Hannah, will you attend to your dinner?

It's all ready, if Miss Jerry'd come back

with the fish she promised me.

I'll leave you the spades.

Confound that daughter of mine,

she and Ted have been gone ages.

Come on, Dot. Put more "uh" into it.

Good gracious, Don.

You're dancing with me,

not giving me an osteopathic treatment.

Nothing personal, I assure you.

And if you would take your mind off Paul

and concentrate more

on your own left leg,

I think we'd do a lot better.

We make it.

Oh, Doctor, you should've played

your queen instead of the ten-spot.

I'm sorry.

I can't keep my mind on my cards.

- I'm worried about those two.

- Now, let's see here.

- I wonder could anything be wrong.

- Dinner's ready.

Oh, thank goodness, I'm starved.

Hey! Upstairs, there. Dinner!

Come on down and let's eat.

Will you please stop gazing at that man

and come and have some food?

Blow the horn again.

That doesn't sound like Jerry.

Could be Ted.

Oh, now look here.

You're taking this thing too seriously.

I'm sure Ted was spectacular in college,

but you don't go through life

on a lot of touchdowns.

You wait a little while,

she'll come to her senses.

I hope you're right, Doctor.

You better come now, Doctor,

if you want to get anything.

All right. Come ahead, Paul.

Let's have some dinner.

Oh!

My head's going round like a pin wheel.

My heart's beating like a steam engine.

Feel.

When did you first start

having heart troubles?

From the first moment I met you.

Then why have you been

holding out on me?

Well, you see, darling,

I'm only a poor newspaper man

and we don't make much money.

But from now on,

I'm keeping track of the overhead.

And when I've saved enough money,

we're going to be married.

You sound as if you were proposing

to my grandmother.

What am I going to be doing

while you're saving the first million?

Waiting for me.

Waiting isn't my idea of the king

of indoor sports.

I've no intention of waiting around

for three or four years

while you harvest an additional crop

of wild oats.

Now see here, darling,

I'm not as bad as that.

No, but you're no Saint Anthony.

You're just human, so am I.

That's why I don't want to wait.

Jerry, you certainly say it straight.

Sure. Isn't that the way we're going to be?

Straight from the shoulder,

open, above board?

Oh, you're a great girl.

And you know,

you've got a man's point of view.

That's why we're gonna make a go of it.

Everything equal.

- You bet.

- 75/25.

Hmm?

Shake.

When will you marry me? Tomorrow?

- Oh, gracious, no.

- Next week?

- Oh, I couldn't.

- What, next month?

Well, maybe.

Oh, the first, Jerry, huh?

That's three whole, long weeks off.

Oh, please the first, huh? Say yes.

I won't let you go until you say yes.

Say yes, darling, say yes.

For the love of Mike, lady,

say yes so I can get out of here.

You're not eating a thing, Paul.

Buck up, there's nothing to worry about.

I'm not so sure.

I wish you'd have a look for them.

Right-o, Doctor.

I know right where she fishes.

It'll only take a minute.

- Well, for the love of Pete.

- No, for the love of Ted.

Where have you been and why?

Remember anything you say

will be used against you.

Answer yes or no.

I've already said yes.

Yes.

- Yes.

- Well!

Hope you don't mind?

Would it make any difference

whether I do or not?

No.

You rascal.

- I'm simply thrilled. Congratulations.

- Thank you.

Hey, customers.

Boy and girl take big leap.

Hear it and weep.

- Sorry, old man.

- So am I.

- It may be possible that...

- Oh, it's all right, let's forget it, Doctor.

Attaboy.

Well, aren't you gonna

congratulate me, Don?

Ted's the one I'm congratulating.

Lucky dog.

And to think that you brought us together.

My mistake.

Why, you're not suggesting

that your slightly shopworn emotions

were ever centered on me, are you?

And why not?

You're a fascinating wench, Jerry.

- Well, it's too late.

- Never too late to yearn.

You'll never die yearning.

Here we are.

Great Scott, I thought you said a drink.

Oh, it'll do you good.

- A place for the future bride and groom.

- That's awfully sweet of you.

Now, darling, I want you to eat something.

Here. You two have a pickle.

It's good for those in love.

- Mary?

- What?

You're not ever going to marry, are you?

- Is this a proposition?

- No, no. No.

Why not?

Of course, you haven't a moral

to your back,

but you're young

and good-looking and rich.

Millions for defense

but not one cent for alimony.

What a lot of heathen you are!

Oh, Dad, don't let them worry you.

Anyway, Ted and I are gonna be married

and stay married, aren't we, darling?

Yes, we're going to stay married.

How unpatriotic.

A man should be willing to lay down

more than one wife for his country.

You know what time it is?

We must be on our way.

Got to pack that toothbrush.

Got to take this on the run.

I might stay here and finish this, darling.

I want a great big helping of that.

Well, I'm a big engaged man, you know,

I've got to eat.

- Paul, I thought...

- Hello, Jerry.

- We were just drinking to your happiness.

- Oh, thanks.

And I was binding up the wounds.

Never thought of myself, of course.

Wounds? Nonsense.

Why, Paul and I have always been friends.

We're gonna stay friends, aren't we?

I'm afraid so, Jerry.

I wish you all the luck in the world.

Of course you do.

Hey, Romeo, are you packed?

Coming up to finish, Juliet.

I can't let you out of my sight a minute.

Oh, you sweet darling.

Soon you'll be wondering

how to get rid of me.

- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah.

Stop your fooling.

Ha, ha. You funny little man.

- Here, time.

Great!

- Marvelous time, Doc.

- Goodbye.

I had a marvelous time.

See you at the wedding.

- Goodbye.

- Goodbye.

- Doctor, we had a perfectly grand time.

- I'm awfully glad.

Most marvelous party I ever attended.

- See you in town, Doctor.

- Hey!

Excuse me. You coming with me, Dot?

- Try and get rid of me.

- Yeah, well, come along.

Come on, we gotta get going.

Dorothy?

- Yeah.

Listen, dear,

do you think Paul ought to drive?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes