The Do-Over Page #2

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you know what I mean.

Damn it, man.

You are kicking ass and taking names.

You're doing it.

You should be doing that with me, Charlie.

- Like we always talked about.

- Yeah.

Hey... I hope I see you again.

Yeah, me, too.

Yeah. No, I'm here.

That's right.

I got dinner.

It's covered. I got Chinese.

Everything you want.

I got the six egg rolls,

four orange chickens,

two Kung Pao chickens.

Just the way you like it.

Oh... okay.

Uh... I'm here, I'm here, I'm here.

Uh, you sure?

Two more... Two more Kung Pao chickens,

are you sure?

- Excuse me.

- Okay, I gotta go. Bye.

Are you the manager?

Why, yes I am.

How can I help you?

Can you tell me where I can find

the kitty litter aisle?

Actually, I'm the bank manager.

Oh...

Palm Coast Savings is a bank

and we have nothing to do with Save & Pay.

Kitty litter?

It's aisle two.

Hey.

How was karate, boys?

See for yourself!

Hey, Mom, check it out.

Charlie pissed his pants.

Are you sure

you're not yankin' my crank?

This is real?

All expenses paid?

Naples, Italy?

Naples, Florida?

Oh!

Oh, my God, we so need this.

- Thank you.

- What is it?

You are not gonna believe

what just happened.

I just won a two-day spa weekend

at the Ritz-Carlton Resort

in Naples, Florida!

What?

What? How?

I won the grand prize drawin'

at the reunion.

I don't even remember there being

a drawing at the reunion.

I don't remember the reunion.

But I'll f***ing take it.

Yeah. Woo-hoo!

Party train.

When is it?

- This weekend.

- Oh, that's perfect.

Tracy is gonna get turnt up.

Tracy?

I thought this was our weekend together?

Well, Charlie, it's a spa.

It's totally

a girls' type of thing.

- Oh.

- It's... it's... Oh!

- Oh, okay.

- But, hey... Charlie,

this will give you time

to paint the garage.

Oh, yeah, right...

Oh, my God, they accept dogs!

Tracy's bringing Biscuit!

All right, that sounds fun.

Where the f*** are the fortune cookies?

Karate chop me, you little prick.

I wasn't ready for it.

You ready for this?

A**hole.

Ahoy.

And then it happened.

Permission to come aboard, skipper?

Permission granted, little buddy.

You ready to get your drink on?

Oh, my God.

That is not a Bud Light Party Ball.

If you put your ear to it just right,

you can still hear somebody puking

at a Def Leppard concert.

Huh? Huh?

Uh, but I shouldn't

have a drink right away,

because I popped a few Dramamine just to,

you know, help me get my sea legs.

- Oh...

- But, um...

I did get us some Sea-Band bracelets.

One of the cashiers at Save & Pay

said that this is a miracle worker

for her mother-in-law.

- I get one, too?

- Yeah.

Oh, thanks, man.

So, uh, what do you think of my boat?

This is... insane.

I've never seen anything like it.

My God, I gotta join the FBI.

How long have you had her?

She's a virgin.

I want you to pop her cherry.

- Me?

- Yeah. Grab this.

- What do I do?

- Come on.

- To, uh, kickin' ass and taking names!

- There he is.

- You f***!

- Are you shitting me?

You brought it back to my...

I'm f***ing with you. Yeah!

Yeah. Yeah, man.

Hi!

Hi, guys!

Hey, girls, come on.

Huh?

F***, yeah.

Thank you!

- Oh... Oh! "Show us your dick."

- No.

Show them.

Don't even think about it.

Let's see it.

Come on! Come on!

Okay. Okay.

- Oh!

- Boo!

- What the hell is that?

- Come on!

I couldn't believe it.

I was having the best time

of my adult life.

It was like Max and I had

never been apart.

The years melted away and we were goofy

teenagers again, having nothing but fun.

Max!

Forgetting my troubles for a while

was just what the doctor ordered.

- Wow!

- Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

F***in' A, baby!

You got dinner for us!

F*** you! F*** you!

Deep down, I knew that soon

I'd have to get back to the real world.

But Max had a way

of making me forget all my...

Hey.

What's...

Hey, Mr. Sleepyhead.

What's going on?

Why am...

Why am I tied up?

I didn't want you to freak out

when you came to.

You think tying me to a bed's

not gonna freak me out?

- Where the hell am I?

- You're in a motel.

You were snoring your balls off

for, like, 24 hours straight.

Wait, what? What?

Yeah, I guess I went

a little heavy on the roofies.

You roofied me?

Max, please let me go.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Not a problem, buddy.

Let me get you out of there.

I got you in a half hitch.

You know who taught me that knot?

Your father,

when we went fishing that day.

Your equilibrium's gonna be way off

'cause of the drugs.

So just kind of take it easy

- when I get you free, okay?

- Uh-huh.

There you go.

I'm gonna f***ing kill you!

- Charlie, I told you.

- Oh, God.

Come here.

Just do it, serial killer.

Kill me, get it over with!

I'm not gonna kill you.

What the f*** are you talking about?

Sit down.

You know why I'm not gonna kill you?

Because you're already dead.

- What?

- I did it, Charlie.

I pulled off the greatest magic act

of all time.

I made us disappear.

Wait, you did what?

I faked our deaths.

Charlie, look at this.

I maxed out all my credit cards'

cash advances.

$62,000!

Dead people don't have to pay their bills.

So Amex can blow me.

And you wanted a passport.

Huh?

Where the f*** is it?

Oh!

You are officially now

Dr. Ronald P. Fishman, world traveler.

- You were sleeping.

- I don't wanna be Dr. Ronald P. Fishman.

Well, you can't be Butch Ryder,

'cause I already put my picture

on this one, so, you snooze, you lose.

Max, why are you doing this?

So you could start from scratch.

Get a brand new life.

I made your wish come true.

That night... I was stoned!

I didn't know what I was saying!

Where's Dr. Fishman?

At the bottom of the ocean...

with Butch Ryder.

Jesus Christ,

how many people did you kill?

I didn't kill anybody.

I just borrowed two dead bodies.

Charlie, calm down.

You have a right to be mad,

'cause I did lie to you.

I'm not in the FBI.

I made that up 'cause I was embarrassed

of where my life turned out.

I am a coroner.

At the city morgue.

Mr. Falcone was right!

I stack bodies for a living.

Just like he uncannily predicted.

I can't believe this.

Hey, we both needed a fresh start.

And when these two

age-appropriate bodies rolled in...

no one claimed them for a week,

I... fake-cremated them.

And I put 'em on ice.

This is exactly why I had to stop

hanging out with you, Max.

It's coming back to me.

You're crazy.

This is too much. It's too much.

I can't do it. I can't.

Hey, you have to do this,

or we're looking at five to ten...

for faking our own deaths.

Plus, I didn't opt for the f***in'

insurance on the boat rental.

So that...

that'll f*** me, man.

Max, I... I'm gonna go home, okay?

I gotta go home.

Charlie, you wanna go home?

To that miserable wife and those kids?

And the Save & Pay job?

I don't work at Save & f***ing Pay!

Charlie...

you tried.

- Go on.

- Um...

You made a good casserole.

I feel real sad that you were a Democrat.

And, um...

I don't know what else to say.

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