The Drawn Together Movie: The Movie!

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(RUNNING FOOTSTEPS)

WOMAN:
Hey, ass bag! Give me another!

Listen, you've run up quite

a tab over the last few weeks.

-Why don't you say...

-Another shot, goddamnit!

Hmm. Oh!

(BURPS)

(GASPS) "Come to the booth in the back.

Act casual, fat ass!"

Who the hell is that?

Please, don't cause any more

trouble around here, Miss...

Whoa! (CRASH)

(CAT MEOWS)

All right, lady. l don't know

who you think you are, but l...

You've been busy.

(GASPS) Foxxy.

What the hell are you doing here?

We can't be seen together!

You'll get us killed!

Toot, you've got to come with me.

You're not safe here anymore, fatty.

What the hell do you care?

You're the reason we're in this mess, Foxxy.

lf that's even your real name.

Of course it's my real name.

You don't know that!

You don't know anything.

l know this.

(BOTH MOANlNG)

(SPlTS)

l deserved that.

You deserve to die.

Toot, l can't change the past,

but l can change the future.

l met somebody who could

help us get our lives back!

Oh, yeah? Well, l've met someone, too.

l've met a man who loves me for me,

a man who's willing to cheat on his wife

because he's a closeted homosexual

who thinks l'm a man!

A man who refers to my vagina

as a manhole.

Toot, Clara's dead!

(GASPS) Clara? She... She's...

Dead, yes. l sorry.

Oh, my God! l can't believe it!

She was so... So...

Now which one was Clara again?

She wasn't that little fugly

battle monster thing, was she?

No, the princess.

(GASPS) How'd she die?

The same way we all gonna die!

l.S.R.A.E.L. !

(GASPS) l.S.R.A.E.L.?

That's why you need to

come with me before it's too...

(CELL PHONE BEEPS)

Your location's been compromised!

Get out of there now!

-We gots to go!

-Forget it, Foxxy.

l'm not... Aah!

Goddamnit! They followed you here!

Head towards the back of the bar!

(GUNSHOTS, ALL SCREAMlNG)

(RECORD SCRATCHlNG)

(GUNSHOTS, ALL SCREAMlNG)

Take a right! Go up the stairs!

(FOXXY GROANS)

What now, Wooldoor?

Oh, is that Wooldoor? Tell him l said hi!

WOOLDOOR:
Oh, hey, Toot

how you doin'? Go straight!

Straight? But we on the roof!

Just do it!

(BANGlNG)

Wait, what are you doing?

Stop! l can't fly without my feather!

(BOTH YELLlNG)

The key's got to be here somewhere.

Come on, come on, come on, come on!

We're gonna die!

Got 'em! Let's go!

(BOTH SCREAMlNG)

Ah, we made it.

Hey, Toot, baby. Where you goin'...

Aah! Ooh!

(GRUNTS)

(TlRES SQUEALlNG)

Stop, stop! That's the man l love!

We can't! There's no time!

Barney!

(BEEPlNG)

Huzzah!

(CAPTAlN HERO TALKlNG lNDlSTlNCTLY)

Hey, hey, hey.

Great googly moogly!

Whee!

Don't make me suck your dick!

Guys, you suck.

l love racism!

A Jew in our backyard!

Ooh, l like that b*tch!

Flavor flav!

Up the butt?

Goddamnit!

(TOOT GRUNTlNG) l cut myself!

Surprise!

My special move is the reach around!

(BlRD SlNGlNG)

Ahh. Good morning, people and Foxxy.

lt's a lovely day to be on a reality show.

And it's a great day to deny wetting the bed.

Which l did not do!

Ooh, it's also the perfect day to

stay in bed and snuggle all day!

Hey, we should have

another piata party tonight!

But, uh, this time we should get a real piata.

Guys, there really is nothing better

than being on a reality television show!

Nothing!

-PRODUCER:
Attention, housemates.

-Ooh.

This is the Jew Producer speaking.

Please report to the living room

for the next competition.

Competition? Ooh!

Wait up, guys, l'm almost ready.

(GlBBERlSH)

Now l'm ready. Whee!

Good morning, housemates.

Today's competition is

pretty self-explanatory.

lt is?

(PUPPlES BARKlNG, KlTTENS MEOWlNG)

Put on the heels,

step on the puppies and kittens,

and the person who crushes the most

by the time l come wins the coveted, uh,

l don't know, let's say, uh, immunity from

next week's final judgment ceremony night?

Jew Producer,

this competition is ridiculous.

lt almost sounds made up.

That's why you're going to lose. Suck it!

And go!

(ALL TALKlNG AT ONCE)

l thought l had a good chance to win.

l made more bloody fur than

menstruation time at Mount Holyoke.

(ALL TALKlNG AT ONCE)

And it's time!

Ooh! That felt good.

Ehh!

Oh, yeah. You guys did an excellent job.

Oh, oh!

(ZlPPER)

Wait, Jew Producer.

You didn't even tell us who won.

Oh. Um, the winner is, uh,

who hasn't won in a while?

Let's say that guy in shorts there.

Congrats. Here's your immunity,

uh, scented candle.

Booya! You can all suck it, b*tches.

That's right, number one, numero uno.

Something didn't sit well with the Foxxy.

l mean, lately, all the competitions was

about us doing some kind of bull crap

so the Jew Producer could

get his Jew-y rocks off.

l can't be the only one

who thinks these competitions

is completely random and arbitrary.

Something ain't right here.

The Foxxy smells herself a mystery.

(ALL LAUGH)

-What's so funny?

-Come on, Foxxy.

lt's time to give up trying to redeem yourself.

Yeah. For weeks, you've

been trying to make up

for botching that mystery

at the amusement park.

Mr. Wilkinson here

denies being a super villain.

But let me ask you this,

if you ain't not a super villain,

then why would you

need a bulletproof face?

(ALL GASPlNG)

Oh, Henry!

Hang in there, Henry.

Don't give up on me, you hear?

Don't you give up on me.

lt's not your time yet.

You're a fighter, damn it!

Now fight, fight!

Damn! l was 40% sure

he had one of them bulletproof faces.

Foxxy Love, you're the worst

mystery-solving musician that's ever lived!

Yeah. The only case you ever

cracked was the display case at Zales.

(LAUGHTER)

Oh, oh, l got one.

Foxxy, the only thing you're good at

is giving head,

and you managed to do the opposite!

(LAUGHTER)

Oh, yeah, good one, Wooldoor!

You, too, Wooldoor?

Oh...

(SlGHS)

Hey, champ.

l'm sorry about what l said before.

l was just trying to fit in.

Nah, Wooldoor, you was right about me.

l ain't no good at mystery solving.

That's not true.

You're the bestest mystery-solving

musician in the whole wide world!

l don't... (GROANlNG)

Shut the hell up.

Foxxy, l brought you a special someone

that l think will really cheer you up!

(GASPS) Papa?

You can come in now!

-Mrs. Wilkins?

Aah!

(GRUNTlNG)

Get her off! Get her off!

Silly Foxxy. Mrs. Wilkins is post-menopausal.

lt's impossible to get her off.

(RlMSHOT)

You'll pay for what you've done! Damn you!

What the hell is wrong with you, wooddork?

There is no good explanation

for what l've done.

You are clearly out your f***in' mind!

l'm sorry. l really...

-(GASPS) Did you hear that?

-What?

You out your f***in' mind!

l said "F***," and they didn't beep it!

F***! F***, f***, f***, f***!

(GASPS) What about "Sh*t"?

What about "C*nt"?

What about "Shitcunt"?

(GASPS) No beeps!

They ain't beeping the curse words!

(GASPS) Go on, try it! Say something!

Ok. Uh, schwartza. Mud baby.

Smoked lrishmen. lnk face!

Nah, dummy, they never censor racism.

l'm talking about words like shitcunt.

Ooh. l could never say that.

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