The Dyatlov Pass Incident Page #6

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- It's good.

- Very impressive.

Have a seat, Professor.

Thanks.

Just let me put this down.

You know...

it's impossible to get warm

when you're sitting on snow

all the time.

Yeah, I think my ass has been numb

since we left Vizhay.

So did you guys find anything

with the Geiger counter?

- No, perfectly safe.

- Well, that's good, I guess.

I mean, I know you were hoping

to find something for your movie.

There's still time.

Young love.

I wouldn't be too sure about that.

Um, Thatch is a good dude, but...

I'm not sure he's boyfriend material.

Really? I think they look cute.

It's because he's a master

of the trail hookup.

The trail hookup?

Yeah.

There it is. Oh, man.

Uh, the trail hookup.

You get a girl

out in the middle of nowhere,

especially where it's cold.

She needs someone to snuggle up with...

- How romantic. Oh, God.

- That's not the worst of it.

He has herpes?

No, not that I know of.

Uh, you know that camera on his phone?

Oh, no. He records it?

It's not just

for shooting landscapes, yeah.

It's like a digital notch in the bedpost.

No, Denise!

Oh, she's going down.

So where's your trail game?

Oh.

I'd like to introduce you,

to my young friend...

Colonel Whiskey.

Hello, Colonel.

Yes, please.

John Patrick Hauser,

are you trying to get me drunk?

Well, it's either that or wait for

a little paradoxical undressing.

- I'll take a little bit of that.

- Nice.

Hey.

- Hey.

- Hey.

- You believe those two?

- Don't worry, it's just a trail hookup.

What's a trail hookup?

You're still in the running, Casanova.

I'm not sure if I want

that guy's sloppy seconds.

Well, you could always

curl up with Lucille, right?

Hey, man, you laugh, but...

if it was legal in the state

of Oregon to marry a camera,

then I would do it.

But unfortunately it's not,

so we're gonna have to keep

our relationship professional.

Mostly.

Well, I am going to...

go to sleep.

Right on.

- Good night.

- Good night.

Sweet dreams.

Look, I'm sorry we accused you

of faking those footprints.

It's all right. If I didn't

know that I didn't do it,

I would have thought

exactly the same thing.

No, we jumped to a conclusion

that we shouldn't have.

I expect that of Slap-Nuts

over there, but I know better.

Well, if you want

to make it up to me,

you could give me something

warm to snuggle up with.

- Seriously?

- Yeah.

Um, yes.

It's, uh, 6:
00 a.m.

That makes it the third day of the trip.

And it's time to meet Denise.

What are you doing?

Huh?

- Making a little home movie.

- You're ready again?

Don't look so surprised.

I'm not surprised. I'm impressed.

- Impressed?

- Mm-hmm.

- Oh, no, no. Turn that off.

- What?

- Turn it off.

- Come on.

Don't act like you haven't

had sex on camera before.

Andy.

Well, what better way to remember

the best part of the trip, huh?

Oh, the dinner we had in Ivdel?

- You mean getting f***ed in Ivdel?

- Andy.

Sh*t. Andy, what the hell was that?

- What was that?

- You heard that, right?

Yeah, f***. Sh*t.

- Uh, guys?

- Here.

Everybody okay?

What was that?

What the hell is that?

Sh*t.

Denise, grab your equipment!

Guys!

Denise, get out!

Avalanche!

Oh, my God!

Come on! Let's go!

Come on, Denise!

Go! Go! Go! Go!

- Andy!

- Go!

- Andy!

- Denise, no!

Get up, Denise!

Denise!

Oh, God, it's Andy!

Oh, sh*t.

Let's get him out of here.

Oh, God, get under his head.

Okay. Come on.

- Denise!

- Denise!

Denise!

She's gone!

Denise! She's gone!

No way, man.

She could still be breathing somewhere.

She's gone!

- Settle down.

- She's gone!

You left her!

- You left her!

- Screw you!

She was just another

trail hookup to you, wasn't she?

I said shut up right now!

He's right!

There's nothing we can do for her!

- They goddamn killed her!

- It was an avalanche!

Oh, wake up, man!

They tried to kill us.

They tried to bury us so it

would look like an accident!

You crazy bastard!

Sh*t like that doesn't happen

in the real world, okay?

Are you telling me you didn't

see those charges, huh?

Or was that a herd of Ukrainian

exploding mountain goats?

You don't know what happened!

How would anyone find us out here?

- Look around, you joker!

- Okay, stop!

I had to apply for permits

and submit travel plans!

JP, they knew exactly where we were

and when we'd be there.

They waited until we were asleep.

Jensen is right!

Somebody is trying to kill us!

- Jesus, Holly, you too?

- Oh, God.

Okay. Tell me, who is it?

The military, man!

This is serious, grade-A...

Shut up!

Both of you, shut up, okay?

I don't want to believe that Denise

is gone, but she is, okay?

And now we have to pull together

and focus on not losing anybody else.

Andy, what... what do we do? What...

My pack. My pack.

There's a first aid kit.

Okay, okay, okay, what now?

Tell us what to do.

You guys have got to reset my leg.

It's the bone.

Oh, okay. Jensen, take the camera.

I can do this. It's okay.

- Be careful with my leg.

- I'm just gonna...

Sorry! Sorry!

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Okay, Andy, Andy, I need to...

I need to cut the pant leg,

okay, so you just...

Okay. Cut it. Cut it. Cut it.

- I'm gonna be really quick.

- Okay, okay.

Just don't...

Just... just be brave.

I promise I'm being gentle.

Sh*t. Sh*t, okay.

Andy, just stay calm.

It's gonna be okay.

Okay, okay. It's fine. It's fine.

I'm just gonna do it this way.

Okay, JP, in a second,

I'm gonna need you

to get something that we can...

Oh, my God. Okay, okay, okay, okay.

- How is it?

- Okay. It's okay.

- How is it?

- It's okay. It's okay.

I really can't do this, JP.

It's okay. I got it. It's okay.

It's... it's not as bad

as you thought.

- It's...

- Okay.

Jensen, please go get a piece of wood

or something we can make a splint with.

- Let me see it.

- No, no, no, no, no!

It's not as bad as you thought.

You're gonna be okay.

All right, hold on.

It's gonna be okay.

I promise you. I promise you.

I'm just...

I'm just a little squeamish.

This is gonna hurt a little.

This is just gonna hurt a little, okay?

You got to reset it.

You got to reset it now.

Okay.

All right, brother.

I'm gonna go on three, okay?

Take some deep breaths.

Get ready. Okay.

- Okay.

- Get ready.

- Just do it anyway.

- All right, on three.

Ready? One.

That wasn't so bad.

That wasn't so bad.

- It's done. It's done.

- Not for you.

It's done. It's all over.

Okay. Oh, sh*t.

Okay, okay, okay. Okay.

It's okay.

Is this thing really on?

- Oh, sh... yeah.

- Turn it off!

I don't want people to see

me like this! Turn it...

I told you that won't work.

I paid for the international plan.

This is so stupid, we need help.

We have to send up the flare.

- If whoever did this sees the flare...

- Nobody did this!

I don't know, JP.

I mean, maybe Jensen's right.

No.

This is why Andy risked his life

to go back and get the pack, okay?

It's late enough in Vizhay

that somebody will be up.

They have to see it.

Do you have to do that?

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