The Education of Charlie Banks Page #5

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You look good.

Leo:
I hope that ride wasn't

too bad for you.

- Charlie:
It was great.

- Let's begin flight preboarding

for any passengers suffering

from severe sexual longing,

free-floating anxiety, depression,

alcoholism, inertia,

turpitude, messianic fantasies,

and any of the other top 40

personality crises.

Sir, please be careful

with the clubs.

- Oh, thank you very much.

- You're welcome.

(thunder crashing)

(engine starts)

Charlie's voice:
Leo realized

he accidentally attended

all of his classes that week and decided

that we all needed to go on a road trip

on his plane--

his private plane.

Thank you.

God, I can smell those martinis.

(seagulls cawing)

Mick:
Do you know

how to play this game?

Charlie:
Not really.

Mick:
They're all good at this sh*t.

Charlie:
Yeah, they're all rich.

Rich people are good

at sh*t like this.

Mick:
F***ing rich people.

Charlie:
Yeah.

You want to play?

I don't know.

It seems so... gay.

(Charlie chuckles)

Man, it's a goof--

you'll be back in the city soon

and you'll reminisce about that time

you played croquet

with your friends.

Maybe you'll crack

a little smile.

That's some funny sh*t, Charlie.

Seriously, you're killing me.

Come on.

All right, who wants

to get their balls smacked?

I think you might want

to get it through there.

Danny:
Were Charlie and Mary

out there alone together?

Yes, they were.

I was watching them

this whole time.

Hmm.

Can you imagine the f***ing fireworks

going off in his head?

Your turn.

You know, I've never been naked

in a hot tub with a girl before.

Well, I've never been naked

in a hot tub with a guy before.

Hmm.

Are you looking

for owls, Charlie?

No, I'm trying not to stare

at your breasts.

Oh, you are

a true gentleman.

Actually, if I wasn't the only one

in here with you,

I'd probably be sneaking

some looks.

Hmm, honest too.

Thank you.

And adorable.

You're blushing.

I'm not blushing.

Or is it the steam?

- Yeah, I think it's the steam.

- Of course.

I don't know.

I think I'm drunk, actually.

(chuckles)

Why are you f***ing with me?

I'm not f***ing with you.

Can I be totally honest with you?

- Sure.

- Okay.

When I am alone at night

and I'm with myself--

I'm giving myself

the gift of pleasure--

When you're jerking off.

Exactly. When I am jerking off,

I am thinking of you

reciting "Mein Kampf"

it its super-sexy mother tongue

while we're making

the sweetest love

we can possibly make

without dying.

Do I need help?

(laughs)

Now you're f***ing with me.

- All right, fine. Now we're even.

- Good.

You slay me, Charlie,

you really do.

What the hell are you doing

with him, Mary?

- Hey.

- Hey.

- What the hell is going on in here?

- A big sex orgy. Jump in.

It's f***ing hot in here.

You didn't piss in the water,

did you, Charlie?

Hey, buddy.

How are you doing?

- You want winners?

- No.

Nia:
Do you want a gun?

No.

Do you want a kiss?

F*** you. Good night.

F*** me? Hey.

Don't let his bookish quality fool you.

Charlie Banks is a surly b*tch.

I love that kid.

You're so fine.

Are you okay?

Hey, you ever think about

how one little decision you make

can turn day into night

and night into day,

and suddenly everything is different

just 'cause you decided

to go north instead of south?

North or south doesn't make

a difference to me.

It's more about the adventures

along the way.

To where?

You have the most

beautiful eyes, Mick.

You're not asleep, are you?

Yeah. No no.

I couldn't sleep either.

I know.

It's f***ing beautiful, isn't it?

Yeah.

I've been staring out the window

almost all night.

(chuckles) Yeah.

Yeah, 'cause you're scared

if you close your eyes

it's not gonna be there

when you get up, huh?

A rock and a hard place, Charlie.

I guess I'm the only one

who can screw things up, right?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

F***ing rich people.

Yeah, f***ing rich people.

(camera shutter clicks)

Hi.

What's up?

You look so hale and hardy.

Do l?

You made me think of my father's

favorite quote?

What was it?

"Inflamed with the study of learning

and the admiration of virtue;

stirred up with high hopes

of living to be brave men,

and worthy patriots,

dear to God,

and famous to all ages."

Really? I could have sworn

I was drooling all over myself.

Well, you developed some amazing

croquet skills in one weekend.

- That's pretty tough.

- Yeah, thanks.

Who's the quote from?

Milton.

My father always dredges it up

when we fight

about the kind of men

that I date.

Thanks, Charlie.

Charlie's voice:

Sitting there on the lawn,

watching Mick immerse himself

in great literature,

I realized I wasn't

scared of him anymore.

I almost felt it was my duty

to protect him.

A few days

after we got back to campus

Leo bought himself a boat.

And then things really changed.

Fantastic.

Charlie.

Mary:
Oh, Leo.

Wow, there she is-- 1951, baby.

You know, Charlie, I believe

I've finally fallen in love.

I believe I've found my passion.

Yeah? She's a bit wooden, Leo,

so she's right up your alley.

You're a bitter one,

Charlie Banks.

- Mary, what do you think?

- I think you're insane.

Thank you. Mick.

Hey, how much did you pay

for this thing?

Well, it would be gauche to answer,

but I will anyway--

Holy sh*t.

(seagulls cawing)

Hey, yo, Charlie boy,

come take a hit off this.

No, thanks.

Hey, are you feeling blue?

I'd say green.

Don't go overboard, Charlie.

Yeah, 'cause it's f***ing cold

in that water

and I'm not jumping in after your ass

if you do.

You are adorable, Mick.

You know that?

You really are.

Leo:
You are adorable.

Charlie's voice:
The spring formal

was one of those lame college things

we all looked down on

and could happily have blown off.

But Mick wouldn't hear of it.

He'd even gone into town

and rented himself a tux

and chastised all of us

for lacking school spirit.

But we had to sneak in.

See, despite the fact

that Leo dropped 200 grand

on a boat a few days before,

he was adamant

that none of us should pay

He'd never paid before

and he wasn't about to start

in his fifth and potentially final

year of college.

I'm not sure he even caught

the irony.

F***ing rich people.

(disco music playing)

Me and you

And do the things

Ah, do the things

That we like to do

Oh, do a little dance

Make a little love

Get down tonight,

get down tonight

Do a little dance

Make a little love

Get down tonight,

get down tonight

Baby

I'll meet you

Same place, same time

Where we can

get together

And ease up our mind

Oh, do a little dance

Make a little love

Get down tonight,

get down tonight

Do a little dance

Make a little love,

get down tonight...

Charlie's voice:
Unfortunately,

the trick to sneaking into

the spring formal was finding

somebody who had a key

to that back entrance

of the student center--

specifically, somebody eager

to curry favor

with dashing ne'er-do-well

Leo Reilly.

Oh, poor Michelle.

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