The English Teacher Page #7

written the play

if you hadn't been such an abusive,

alcoholic jerk.

Who took out all your anger on

your son after your wife died.

Oh, my God.

Is that what

this is about?

- You believe all that?

- Don't try to deny it.

No, no, no. I don't drink,

for your information.

I haven't had a drink

since medical school.

Jason's mom isn't dead.

She lives up in Teaneck.

She's remarried.

He... He said it was

based on his life.

Oh, well, jeez, if Jason said it then

it must be true, right?

God knows there's never been a writer

that just made stuff up.

You think he turns

into a monster as well?

- Okay. I get it.

- Do you?

Because for an Advanced English teacher

you seem awfully naive to me.

Or is your head so full

of, of these stories

you don't know the difference

between fact and fiction.

Is that why

you slept with him?

Huh?

Thought he was Lord Byron

or something?

You know what?

You don't know me.

You don't know

anything about me.

Oh, shoe's on the other foot.

Marilyn Avenue.

Hey, you can't

run away from this.

Yes, I can.

Hi, it's Linda.

Leave a message.

Linda, it's Carl.

I know I behaved abominably,

you have every right

to be mad,

but please call me.

It's about the play.

Hi, it's Linda.

Leave a message.

Linda, call me,

I beg of you.

I swear I'll never

deceive you again.

I'll be entirely

honest from now on.

I'll...

I'll even tell you

my deepest, darkest secret.

Something

I've never told anyone.

My audition for Sondheim...

I lied.

I... I did have

an audition, but...

As soon as I walked in

and saw him sitting there,

looking at me with those dark genius eyes,

I couldn't breathe.

I thought

I was going to die.

The last thing I remember

before I blacked out

was the look of utter confusion

on Sondheim's face.

And the sound of

the stage manager saying,

"I think his

name is Ka-penis."

It was the worst

experience of my life.

So there it is.

I stand naked before you.

Please come back.

Help me out.

Linda, I'm having

a nervous breakdown!

I'm having chest pains.

And a nervous breakdown!

Call me!

Uh!

There has been

an emergency.

Carl is in the hospital.

And, well, he keeled over

during rehearsal.

And the kids called 911.

They're beside themselves.

Well, it wasn't a heart attack,

thank goodness.

They think stress.

Stress.

But there's no way

he can finish the play.

And we are days away

from opening night,

there's a ton

of work to do.

And we've sold

$18,000 in tickets.

We need the money.

Someone needs to step in.

Yeah, you

should call Jason.

Oh...

I did.

And he refuses to help unless we

restore the original ending.

Which, no, we cannot do.

No. No, no, Trudie.

No, forget it. I'm not doing it.

I know,

it's not ideal.

Ideal? You fired me!

Not officially, not yet.

And if you agree to help,

I'm willing to let you off

with just a little formal reprimand

and that's it...

Okay, two weeks' suspension.

That's if...

I can't. I can't.

I can't. I can't do it.

You started this.

Are you going

to really sit back

and let everyone else

pay for your mistakes?

I need you,

the kids need you to...

To just step up and be a

goddamned teacher here.

And if you can't do that,

you have no business in a classroom.

I want to

think about it.

Oh, well...

I expect you

there at 3:
00.

Okay. This is the last

chance you're gonna get.

Hey, Ms. Sinclair, I wanna bend you

over your desk!

"Mother. Oh, my dear mother.

How could you..."

No, no. Come on. Come on.

It's got to be louder.

You got to get them in the cheap seats.

Come on. Loud.

Come on, support it. "How could

you abandon me to such a cruel..."

Thank God.

All right, listen up, people.

Uh, Ms. Sinclair is going to

take over from here on out.

But listen, I'm going to be sitting

here in the front row,

and I don't want

any funny business, okay?

Is that clear?

Yes, Mr. Pelaski.

Could somebody please

tell me where we are?

We're doing the new ending.

New ending?

Yeah, Carl wrote it. They were

working on it when he collapsed.

Yeah, as long as nobody kills

themselves, it's good with me.

Fine. Let's just do this.

Go ahead.

Do you have

any direction?

Um...

You're in pain.

You're in deep,

unbearable pain.

"Mother!

Oh, my dear mother!

"How could you abandon

me to such a cruel fate!"

Okay, Halle. "A father

who couldn't love me!

"A world where I'd never belong!"

That's enough.

"Oh, God!

I want to die..."

No, my darling!

You must live! Live!

Knock it off,

both of you!

- Take it seriously.

- Why?

It sucks.

This ending sucks.

My grandparents are coming in

from Tucson to see me suck.

This isn't Jason's play anymore.

It's bullshit.

Hey! Language.

Where's Jason?

We want Jason back.

Okay, that's it. One week

detention, Miss Anderson!

Yes. I'm coming.

Jason, please don't make

me stand outside.

I'm gonna... I'm not going to leave

here until we talk.

May I come in?

Yeah.

May I have

a glass of water?

- I'm here to ask for a favor.

- Are you kidding me?

If you could just

write a new ending.

No. No. No.

- Write a new ending?

- Jason, please...

For what? To make it happy?

To make it cute and safe?

I understand that, but I'm in an

untenable situation here...

slap a feel-good ending

on Death of a Salesman.

Does he really have to die?

This isn't helping anyone.

That's because

nothing's gonna help.

Everything's f***ed,

and it's your fault!

I want to kill myself.

That's not an answer, Jason.

What makes you think

you have the answers?

I mean,

who are you, anyway?

who gets a power trip

lecturing teenagers.

You really think you affect their

lives by reading them Emerson?

You're a joke.

They don't respect you.

The second they finish high school,

they forget you.

Yes, um...

Well...

Uh...

I was thinking about your ending,

and I realized that there

may be something that I missed

in previous readings of your play.

And that is...

That the ending sucks.

What?

Everyone kills themselves?

That's your resolution?

Jason, come on.

What do you think?

You said,

you loved the ending.

Well, you know, I do make mistakes,

as you know.

Whatever.

I'm done with this.

You know, sometimes

you can't run away.

And you can't

go to law school.

And you can't

kill yourself.

Because sometimes you have to stay

and suck it up.

- F*** you!

- Can you just try?

I mean, can you imagine that

there might be another ending?

A different ending,

where everyone doesn't die.

No! Get the f***

out of my house!

This is horrible.

They're gonna hate it.

Halle... I can't, I can't,

I can't do this!

No, no. I can't... I can't remember

any of my lines.

Just say them the way we rehearsed

them last week and you'll be terrific.

I know. I heard you.

- All right?

- Thank you.

- Yeah.

- All right.

All right.

Five minutes.

It's five minutes,

everyone.

All right, you've

worked really hard.

And you know what to do.

And you're going

to be great.

And you should all feel

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