The Fabulous Baker Boys Page #8

SALESMAN:

I'll be with you in a minute, sir.

FRANK:

I don't have a minute, pal. Yes

or no?

SALESMAN:

(glowering)

Yes. They come in black.

FRANK:

Okay. Give me a pair of nines.

Pronto.

The Salesman looks casually at Jack.

SALESMAN:

Does he want a pair, too?

INT. DRESS DEPARTMENT

As Jack and Frank return to the dress department,

Frank jettisons the shoebox and tissue paper.

FRANK:

All right, we got your shoes.

Just then, Susie steps out of the dressing room.

Even Frank stops at the sight of her.

SUSIE:

What do you think?

FRANK:

Uh... good.

SUSIE:

(turning to Jack)

Zip me up?

The dress is open down to the small of her back.

It's a nice back.

Jack takes the zipper and closes the panels carefully.

SUSIE:

(continuing)

Shoes?

FRANK:

Right.

Frank puts the shoes down and Susie steps into them.

SUSIE:

They're tight.

FRANK:

They're nines.

SUSIE:

Well, they're aspiring to be

sevens.

FRANK:

You can buy new ones tomorrow.

SUSIE:

Oh, thanks.

FRANK:

Don't worry. We'll take it out

of your share.

SUSIE:

You're a prince.

INT. HOTEL

As the trio rushes into the hotel service entrance,

RAY, the assistant manager, appears.

RAY:

You better buy yourself a watch,

Frankie.

FRANK:

We had a little emergency.

RAY:

Yeah, well, I've got a little emergency.

You know what I'm saying?

(seeing Susie)

Who's this, Minnie Pearl?

All eyes turn to Susie's dress, which still has the

tags attached.

FRANK:

(moving off)

Jesus.

RAY:

I want seventy-five minutes, Frankie.

You hear me?

JACK:

This is going well, isn't it?

INT. KITCHEN

The three rush into the kitchen.

FRANK:

We need scissors over here!

Who's got scissors?

(turning to Susie)

Okay, remember. Jack and I go on first,

I do the set-up, then introduce you.

And you say ...

SUSIE:

(deadpan)

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

I can't tell you how thrilled I am to be here.

It's like a dream come true.

And speaking of dreams ...

FRANK:

Right.

SUSIE:

Piece of cake.

A tiny MAN in an apron walks up with a meat cleaver.

FRANK:

Carlos, that's,a cleaver. I need

scissors.

CARLOS (MAN)

No scissors.

FRANK:

Jesus Christ. All right. Let's

go, Jack. Fix your tie.

Jack and Frank exit.

Susie stares a little warily at Carlos and his cleaver.

INT. LOUNGE

Jack and Frank slide quickly behind their pianos.

About half the tables in the room are filled.

FRANK:

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome to the Ambassador Lounge.

My name's Frank Baker and no, you're not

seeing double, it's just my

little brother, Jack.

Some laughter.

FRANK:

(continuing)

I'm glad you're all in such a good mood tonight,

because we've got a very special

evening planned ...

INT. KITCHEN

Susie sits on a stool while Carlos positions the dress tags

on a cutting board. As a WAITRESS from the bar passes by,

Susie snares a drink from her tray.

WAITRESS:

Hey!

SUSIE:

Just a sip. To kill the

butterflies, okay?

WAITRESS:

Okay. But no lipstick.

Susie takes a quick sip.

SUSIE:

There. No one's the wiser.

WAITRESS:

Nice dress.

As the Waitress exits, Carlos brings the cleaver down

with a sharp chop, severing the tags.

SUSIE:

Appreciate it, Ace.

LOUNGE:

The audience is laughing.

FRANK:

But seriously, folks, as I sit here tonight,

looking out on all your kind faces, I can't help

but feel some of us have met before. We may not

know each other's names, we might not recognize

one another on the street, but we know each other

just the same. And over the years we've shared

something. A little music, a little drink,

a little laughter, maybe even... a few tears.

But I guess that's what friends are for, huh?

Applause. Jack puts out his cigarette.

JACK:

Oh, brother.

FRANK:

And it's especially nice to be among friends

tonight, because, well, tonight's a very special

night for my brother and I. This evening we've

asked a young lady to join us, a lady Jack and I

are sure will soon seem like just another old

friend to you all. She's making her debut here

this evening and, as far as I'm concerned, she

couldn't be doing it in a better place.

Because there's one place that's always been for

us a very special place, and that place is this

place, the Ambassador Lounge. Ladies and gentlemen,

please welcome a very special lady with a very

special way of singing a song, Miss Susie Diamond.

Applause. Susie strides out of the kitchen, past the

busing station, and up to the microphone stand, which,

unfortunately, is not on.

FRANK:

(continuing; whispering)

The switch. Hit the switch.

SUSIE:

Switch?

(as she hits it)

What f***ing switch?

Silence.

SUSIE:

(continuing; very demure)

Pardon me.

Jack and Frank look at one another, then, before

outrage can set in, plunge into the opening number.

Susie takes the mike from the stand and smiles sweetly.

SUSIE:

(continuing)

I can't tell you how thrilled I

am to be here.

For the moment, the audience doesn't seem quite sure

how thrilled they are to be here.

SUSIE:

(continuing)

I'm all smiles, darling

Through and through...'

INT. LOBBY

A BELLBOY exits the elevator and, hearing Susie's voice

coming from the lounge, stops.

He looks to the CLERK behind the front desk.

BELLBOY:

I thought the Bakers were on

tonight.

CLERK:

They are.

BELLBOY:

Well, who's that?

The Clerk looks up from the register and listens.

CLERK:

I don't know. Frank?

INT. LOUNGE

Judging from the faces, Susie's as big a hit in the

lounge as she is in the lobby. Head thrown back, eyes

closed, she sings with abandon, finishing on a long

extended note, then swooping down in a dramatic,

exhausted bow. There is a split second of silence,

then thunderous applause. Magic.

EXT. HOTEL

The new trio, fresh off their first gig,

come out of the service entrance into the night.

FRANK:

F***ing. She says f***ing in

front of an entire room of people.

SUSIE:

I said I was sorry.

FRANK:

(to Jack)

Did you hear it?

JACK:

F***ing.

SUSIE:

Look, they were all on their third Mai Tais

by the time I got out there anyway.

FRANK:

(directly to her)

F***ing.

SUSIE:

For Christ sake, I said it, I

didn't do it.

(pulling out some bills)

Besides, I don't think they were

too offended, do you?

FRANK:

(grabbing the bills)

Give me that.

SUSIE:

Hey!

FRANK:

We are not a saloon act. We do

not take tips from dirty old men.

SUSIE:

(innocent)

I was gonna split it with you guys.

FRANK:

We do not take tips. I'll apply

this to the cost of the dress.

Frank puts the money in his pocket. Susie stares at

him, steaming.

SUSIE:

Then I want my name on the poster.

And my picture!

(taking off her shoes)

And these shoes are too goddamn tight!

Susie hurls the shoes at Frank and stalks off barefoot.

Jack is leaning against the wall,

watching it all with amusement.

JACK:

Nice girl.

ON Frank's expression we hear the OPENING NOTES of

"New York, New York" and we see:

SERIES OF SHOTS:

Susie and the boys performing it in one lounge after

another, playing to increasingly enthusiastic audiences,

no empty tables now.

As the SONG ends, we CLOSE ON the cardboard stand-up,

newly done over with a picture of Susie and an

accompanying exclamation: "See the Sensational Susie

Diamond!" As the FINAL CHORD sounds we --

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