THE FINAL BATTLE

---

Title:
THE FINAL BATTLE

(Scene:
A cartoon environment with a door. Doorbell rings and door opens. 15-year-old Piper Rockelle, 15-year-old Emily Dobson, and 15-year-old Elliana Walmsley stand ready to punch. Camera flips.)

Slim Z:
(Surprised) What were you, raised in a barn? Shut the f***in’ door!

(Piper politely closes the door, and the fight resumes. Girls chase boys deeper into the room, screaming.)

(They corner the boys behind the futon. Slim Z lands a couple of blows until Slim Z grabs Lev and Jentzen, pulling them down.)

(Various small items fly up from behind the futon from the fury of battle.)

Boys:
(Leaping over the futon and into the middle of the room)

Girls:
(They stand up and stare each other down, circling.)

(After drawing close again, they strike various martial arts poses to varying degrees of authenticity and menace. They kick each other's legs at high speed.)

(They break off and nurse their legs momentarily.)

Slim Z:
(Runs forward and jump kicks the girls and Jentzen and Lev into a large pile of empty cardboard boxes.)

Piper:
(Screaming) WHO KEEPS BOXES AROUND?! Honestly!

Slim Z:
Oh, don’t you talk about my boxes! I like boxes!

Jentzen:
…that’s the fuckest thing I ever heard, shitmop!

Slim Z:
Shitload of f***!

Emily:
F*** monkey!

Slim Z:
Giving you both middle fingers - (he raises his hands and spins around to present his fingers) - at full force!

Elliana:
Cow-humping transvestite!

Slim Z:
Fee Fi Fo F*** you!

Piper:
Ass blower!

Slim Z:
Turd burglar, rabblerabblerabble!

Piper:
(Imitating Slim Z) Ooh, Look at me, I’m Slim Z!

Slim Z:
F*** you, f*** you, dick dick dick dick dick.

Piper:
(Imitating Slim Z) I like to rap, ooh!

Slim Z:
(dancing sideways) F***ing you, f***ing you, f***ing you, f***ing you! (Gives the finger at each phrase)

Piper:
(Still imitating Slim Z) I like to do stupid things because I’m stupid-

Slim Z:
(stretches his hand as if blocking Piper’s insults) Shuuuuuut up, Shuuuuuuut up, Shuuuuuuuuuuuut up!

(The boys and girls trade nonsensical insults, saying f*** back and forth at a rate impossible to record in text.)

Piper:
Cock knocker!

Slim Z:
(pretending to strain for an insult) Skank.

Piper:
THAT’S IT!

The girls kick away the boxes and stand up, firing Their guns at The boys, who manage to dodge them and throw a couple hadoukens, knocking the gun away, then switches to sonic booms and a final hadouken, impacting The girls who falls to the ground in the Street Fighter style. They recovers quickly, only to see The boys and the girls holding up a lightsaber. piper stands, having one of her own, but when she activates it, it turns out she had it upside down and it stabs her foot; she quickly corrects her error and the two duel for a bit, the camera going in for close-ups; it appears as if they are battling fiercely, but when it pans out again, they are simply waving the lightsabers in front of their faces. They toss the weapons down and resume fighting with their hands, slim z's first punch making piper lean all the way back and sounding like a gunshot; after a short pause, piper falls to the ground (face forward, somehow) with another gunshot sound; she realizes her gun is in reach, and grabs it, standing up and pointing it at slim z again. But he's gone! Piper searches the room, coming around a corner only to find slim z in his gear. The girls and the boys attempts to escape the other way, but gets trapped in a corner. He leans down behind a tiny box in an attempt to protect himself. slim z advances and points his weapons at The girls and lev and Jentzen‘s face.

Piper:
Wait, wait! Would you let your sister die?

Slim z:
sister?

Piper:
Yeah.

Slim z:
You're my sister?

Piper:
Yes, I am your sister!

slim z:
Well then, surely you know the name of our mother!

Piper:
Well of course I know the name of our mother! ...Elizabe-

slim z gun pushes further toward Piper's face

Piper:
Oh blame a girl for trying!

The boys begin firing, a veritable light show emanating from his weapons. Suddenly, however, Satan appears and possesses The girls, who rises up, firing Force lightning at The boys

The girls:
POWER! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

As The girls continues to laugh, and her attack strips slim z of his weapons, Super Mecha Death Drama shows up

Super Mecha Death drama: F***ERS!

Piper:
Holy sh*t!

Super Mecha Death drama: F***ERS! F***ERS!

slim z:
That's Super Mecha Death drama, b*tch!

Super Mecha Death drama advances and blows The girls off

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes