The Final Girls Page #6

She's not real.

None of this is real.

Yes, she is!

Max, wait.

I don't wanna

die alone.

Listen to me.

You're not gonna die.

Nobody else is

dying tonight.

I know exactly where

he's taken her.

Hey, Nancy.

Max? Max!

He was right there.

No!

Get up!

Come on, let's

get out of here.

Come on, come on.

Chris.

Max, over here.

Sit down.

Am I dying?

No. I know how to fix it.

You're not the

final girl yet, Max.

Because of me.

I'm still alive.

No.

Yes.

No! I'm already dying,

so you could survive!

You can be the final girl.

No, Max. No.

That's not who

I'm supposed to be,

remember?

I'm just the shy girl

with the clipboard

and the guitar.

Yeah, but you wanted

to change that.

Honey, let me do this.

No.

Max, I'm not afraid.

I wanted to save you.

Oh, Max, you did.

You did, Max.

Just by letting me

be here with you.

I've never felt more real

or more alive ever before.

No.

No, Mom, you belong

at home, with me.

Look, your name is

Amanda Cartwright,

and you live in Encino,

and you love

Bette Davis Eyes

and Mel's Diner.

And you wanted to be

the biggest movie star,

more than anything

in the world.

And

you had a daughter.

You have a daughter.

I'm not going back

without you.

I don't wanna

lose you again.

Max.

I'm not lost.

I'm right here,

all right?

You'll always know

where to find me, okay?

But you have to let me go.

You have to let me go.

Bye, Max.

I love you.

That's what

I never got

to tell her.

Don't worry.

Wherever she is,

she knows.

You were right about

one thing, you know?

What?

I'm a movie star.

You just f***ed

with the wrong virgin.

It's over.

What is happening?

I don't know.

Hold on tight!

This food

is so disgusting.

Speak for yourself, girl.

This tapioca pudding

is incredible!

You've had

like 15 of those in

the last 30 minutes.

I counted them, 15!

Little known fact,

I can't stand tapioca pudding.

Then why

did you eat 30

of them?

Let me eat my

feelings in peace.

Max!

Hey!

You're awake!

When you get a second,

try the pudding.

Wait, where are we?

We're home.

But was it a dream or...

No, not at all!

Remember?

Ugh.

That is a machete wound,

poorly stitched

by an incompetent doctor.

I'm actually more

concerned about tetanus

because the machete

had a bit of rust on it,

and I did not see

the doctor give me a shot.

Duncan, I love you

and I'm so happy

you survived,

but do you hear yourself

when you say things?

God.

Do you hear the words

in your head first?

And she's back.

I feel like

the jock at high school

just gave me

his promise ring.

Doctor, stop.

Oh, come on.

My shift's

almost over.

I have

to do my rounds.

And what beautiful

rounds they are.

Oh, my God.

Of course.

Of course, what?

The sequel!

This is so great!

The sequel is

so much cooler

than the original.

Mark.

Let me just

wipe my sweat off

with this tampon.

Blooper!

How about you

go suck a turd?

That's perfect,

so perfectly bad.

Like that's Bad.

Michael Jackson Bad?

That guy's talented.

King of Pop.

Yeah.

Wasn't expecting that.

No!

Sh*t.

It's broken!

Oh, God, you killed Duncan.

You smell great, by the way.

Oh, you killed him!

I promise I won't

tell the cops

if we just

go have sex!

Right now! Now!

I'm not even scared.

Oh, God,

Jesus.

Oh.

Chris.

One more time!

I've only had sex one time

and it was with

my cousin Heather!

Honestly, that

wasn't your fault,

and I won't

tell the cops

if we have sex.

Let's

Look, Chris, you and I

don't know each other well.

So, lose the familiarity.

What a rude little

girl you're being.

She's not like this at home.

She's just showing off.

You guys have to learn

how to not break.

I'm scared.

Oh, I get it, because

you've only had sex

with one person

and I'm freaking

double-digits slayer

over here.

You probably don't

even know this move.

I feel like I'm

walking out like Kramer.

Jerry.

Well, all my

bones are broken

except for the one.

I'm actually

talking about this arm.

My penis is

severely injured.

It's like split in

three different parts.

Okay, okay,

people are dying.

Oh, my God!

It's not "Ew."

It's not "Ew."

Too sexy?

Was it too sexy?

Impossible.

Ever since

I was a little boy,

I've dreamed of being

the final girl.

I want you to come study.

One more time.

Well, Vicki, you're a virgin.

No, you're not, you're a slut.

He had, like,

the weird mustache.

Yeah, right!

A phone that I can

put in my mouth?

Oh!

From the movie.

Oh, Jesus!

Ow!

All right,

see you in there.

That's a cut!

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