The First Men in the Moon

# She came, she came to meet a man

# She found an angel

# Goo goo, goo goo

Barabajagal was his name now

# Goo goo, goo goo

Barabajagal was his name now... #

I don't want the shot

to go on too long,

just long enough to say

Diana Dors has lost her drawers.

Won't you lend her some of yours?

Jim?

Can you believe they're up there

now, Dad? Isn't it amazing?

It certainly is.

Where's your mother?

Right, you stay there.

I'll fetch her. Don't wander off.

Dad?

"I Can't Give You

Anything But Love"

Hello?

Come to mock, have you?

Come to gawp?

I beg your pardon?

You have some manners, at least.

That's something.

They didn't send you, then?

Who? Those dreadful

children...from before.

They said they wanted

to see my kinematograph films.

But then they only laughed at me.

What are your films?

Hm?

You said you had some films.

Are they cartoons? Can I see them?

I won't laugh at you, I promise.

You seem like a very well brought-up

young man.

I think I might be in trouble.

I can't find my mum and dad.

No?

Dad says we have to get back home,

you see, to watch the telly.

It's such a special day.

He says we'll remember today

for the rest of our lives.

What's so special about today?

They're going to land on the moon!

Oh.

Don't you think that's exciting?

The first men on the moon!

Why are you laughing?

You wouldn't believe me,

even if I showed you the evidence.

Nobody ever has...

..in all these years.

My name's Jim.

Pleased to meet you, Jim.

I'll believe you, I promise I will,

whatever it is.

Now then, you mustn't believe people

just because they ask you nicely.

Very well.

You make yourself comfortable in

this chair, and I'll attend to

everything.

But you must prepare yourself for

a shock, young man.

Oh? Oh, yes indeed.

You see, those chaps

in the Apollo

what-d'you-ma-call-it...

..they won't be

the first men on the moon.

They won't? No.

I was the first man on the moon.

You were?

More than that...

..I was the first man IN the moon.

It was such a long, long time ago,

back when old King Edward

was on the throne.

'I was a young man, an ambitious

man, and I put my faith

and my savings

'into a company I was assured

that simply could not fail.'

Bugger.

'My creditors pressed me hard,

so I decided to take a break

from it all,

'and it seemed to me at last

that there was nothing for it

'but to write a play.

'And in any case, everyone

was writing plays in those days.

'It was better than working

for a living.'

'It was whilst waiting for the

elusive muse to put in an appearance

'that I first clapped eyes

on Professor Cavor.'

I say, do you mind awfully

not doing that?

Beg pardon?

Do you mind not making that row?

I'm trying to work.

My dear sir,

I really am most awfully sorry.

Was I making a noise?

Yes. Yes, you were.

Was I? How queer.

I do get a little distracted.

This, you see,

is my time for exercise.

I come here to enjoy the sunset.

But you weren't even looking at it.

No.

You're working, do you say?

Yes. Yes, I'm, er... I'm a writer.

A writer? Really?

How fascinating.

You're doing it again. What?

Nn-z-z-nn-zzz-gh!

Really? Was I?

My mind is much occupied.

I shan't trouble you again.

Oh, really, but it was only

a trifling inconvenience.

No, no, I shall take

my perambulations elsewhere.

Very sorry to have bothered you.

Good night, sir. Good night.

Um...

I saw nothing of him for two days...

and then he came again.

I don't blame you in the least,

but you've destroyed a routine,

you see, and it has

disorganised my days.

I've walked past here for years.

Years.

No doubt I've hummed, buzzed,

what have you. Probably.

You've made all that impossible.

My dear sir,

if the thing is so important to

you... It's vital.

You see, I am an investigator,

a scientific investigator,

and I am on the point of completing

one of the most important

demonstrations -

I can assure you, one of the most

important demonstrations -

in history.

It requires constant thought,

constant mental ease and activity,

and the late afternoon

is my brightest time.

I effervesce with new ideas.

Well, you can still come by.

Impossible.

It will all be different.

I shall feel self-conscious.

I shall think of you,

writing your play.

Yes, my play...

No, there's only one thing for it.

I must have the cottage.

Have the cottage?

Hmm, yes, I must buy it from you,

lock, stock and...what have you.

'But there was one tiny

complication.

'It wasn't mine to sell.

'I could see this would require

careful handling.'

Do you know, we haven't even

introduced ourselves.

My name is Julius Bedford.

Well, no doubt I should have heard

of you, but I never go to

the theatre, you see.

I'm Cavor. Professor Arthur Cavor.

How do you do?

Tell me more about

this demonstration of yours.

Oh, no, no.

Oh? Is it a secret?

No! Yes.

No, it's not that.

Well, I suppose no-one else

does know about it.

Are you interested, then?

Oh, very much so.

Then you must come over to the

house!

Yes! At once! Come over

to the house.

I have no doubt there will be tea,

cakes, what have you. Probably.

Come along.

Er, radiant energy,

that's what all this was about,

light waves and radio waves

and so forth.

All these things radiate out

and act on bodies at a distance.

Do you follow?

Um, yes...

Now, all substances are opaque

to some form or other of radiant

energy.

Opaque...

Er, yes. Um...

Er, glass, for example.

Transparent to light,

much less so to heat, so that

it's useful as a fire-screen.

You see?

Yes. Yes, I see.

But where is all this leading?

Patience, patience. Now,

all known substances

are transparent to gravity,

are they not?

Gravity, obviously.

You can use screens of various kinds

to cut off light or heat.

You can shield things from Marconi's

radio waves using sheets of metal.

But nothing, nothing will cut off

the gravitational attraction

of the sun or of the Earth.

Of course not.

Hmm!

Nothing until now.

Come along.

Cavorite!

Cavorite?

Well, yes, I suppose so.

Isn't that the usual form?

One invents a thing and then...

It's not merely a theory, then?

Not at all! Not a bit of it!

Out of the way, Faraday!

Ohhh.

Couldn't be more perfect.

One in the eye for Newton, eh?

Gravity, you see.

The force that pulls everything,

including you and me,

down to the ground.

Without gravity,

we would be weightless.

And over Cavorite,

air itself is weightless.

Is it safe?

Oh, the stuff is completely inert

as long as it's kept at the right

temperature.

Once it's cooled...

Yes...?

..all the air above the apple

will cease to have any weight.

There were one or two alarming

moments in the manufacturing

process.

Oh? Yes.

I made a thin sheet of Cavorite,

you see,

and all the air above it

had nothing to pull it to Earth,

so it rushed upwards.

More air poured in to replace it,

and the same thing happened.

Ah! You begin to see.

It formed a sort of

atmospheric chimney.

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